Another bathroom question

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Hello parents,

I know this is a common topic but we are really struggling and I'm hoping you can help.

I have a son who is almost 8 with AS. He's very high functioning and goes to an inclusion classroom. We're having 2 (I think) distinct problems:

1) Bedwetting. He wets almost every night, whether or not we restrict his fluids at night or have him go before he goes to bed. People have suggested waking him up and taking him to the toilet later in the night, but he is a very deep sleeper and this does not work (we've tried). People have also suggested alarms, but I don't think this will work for the same reason -- also he needs his sleep and I don't want to disrupt it. I'd hate to put him back in pull-ups at night as this would be a terrible blow to his (already fragile) ego. I do have him change his own sheets but not daily since I don't have time to help him that often.

2) Sometimes he also poops overnight. For a while we thought this was due to his holding it in all day, then muscles relaxing at night so we gave miralax which seemed to help for a while but no longer does. We've tried stopping the miralax but he still does it. He does not have a problem during the day though he does need to be told to go to the potty is he's doing "the dance." My husband is taking him to see a Gastroenterologist today to rule out medical issues.

Thanks,

I wear pull ups at night for those two reasons. Maybe you can tell him that if he wears pull ups to bed, that would give you less laundry to do and more time to spend with him. You should also take him to the doctors to see what's going on as well.

Please tell your kid not to be worried or embarrassed by having to sometimes wear disposable pants. Many adults do too. They are a big help, as they save on laundry, and make less mess and less work for the one who has to do the cleaning up. I do agree with the first responder, that maybe just having your son wear them at night might help. Also, do tell him about my own experiences below, as it might help him accept the situation better.

I used to have problems with a weak bladder as a child. I still occasionally have accidents, but not often. When my mother got really old, she had bladder problems from women troubles, and from a diuretic that she was prescribed. She used incontinent pads, and later added disposable pull on pants. She used the pants at night, and when going out on errands. Although my mother would have preferred not to need them, she did appreciate the help they gave her.

My mother passed away about 8 years ago, but I remembered the help she got from those incontinent problems when I developed a severe female bleeding problem. I bought those pants and pads for myself until I got medical coverage, and found out what was wrong. I had cancer, but a hysterectomy cured the problem, so I don't have a female bleeding problem anymore. Unfortunately, I do still occasionally have bladder and IBS issues. Over this past weekend I had to attend my father's birthday and going south for the winter party, but I had been suffering with diarrhea for a couple of days. It was starting to get better, but I was concerned about being caught away from the bathroom while driving, and about having an accident at the party. Then I happened to remember that I had one pair of disposable pants left from years ago, so I wore them to the party. I am thinking of buying another pack, just for such times, as I have had several bladder and bowel accidents when not wearing them, and had a mess to clean up. This is not easy to do when you have bad knees and a bad back. The ground feels much farther away then, even if you are short.

I think the actress June Allyson is the heroine of all incontinent adults. The matter of fact way in which she did those "Depends" adult incontinence commercials made it easier for my mother, and later myself, to take to using such products.

I hope this helps you and your son out. And remember, we on the spectrum are all:

A Different Drummer

If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
Perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
However measured or far away.

--Henry David Thoreau

I used a book that I had borrowed called, Seven Steps To Nighttime Dryness, by Renee Mercer. Worked like a charm. The method uses an alarm but it was worth it. I think it took my son 3 months to dryness. At the end you give the child "challenges", lots of water before bed, to see if he can really stay dry, and he does. The program has you chart the size of the wet spot as well as a few other things. It was fascinating to watch the frequency and spot size decrease until he was totally dry. Try it.

I don't know if this will help or not but might be something to try. When I was pregnant I ALWAYS had to get up in the night to pee and it was causing a real lack of sleep. My sister told me to drink a small glass of grapefruit juice about an hour or so before going to bed. Grapefruit juice is a mild diuretic so it would help get it all out before bedtime allowing me to have more hours of sleep before I had to get up and pee again. Of course that won't do anything for his bowel movement issues. I think you are right to seek the help of a doc. I hope they can do something for you guys.

My brother wasn't dry at night until he was 11, though he didn't have bowl problems with it. He outgrew it, it would seem. That said, I'd still get him checked for medical issues and possibly either use pull-ups or put a bed wetting cover on the bed, if you haven't already done so.