Toilet training

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My son has ASD which is fine. He's great little boy at the age of 4. He can do more Maths, Science and Computer skills than his peers. He does however lack english and the whole friendship with anyone who isn't an adult. So there I am taking my son to school and the school nurse stopped me. She then basically had a go at me for not teaching my son how to use the bathroom. He honestly hasn't got a clue. In the changing rooms at swimming pools he goes on the floor whilst getting changed and jumping in the puddle not aware of where it came from. He doesn't tell you if he is going and its pretty guess work. He also hypo sensitive so can't feel much so I'm wondering if it can stop him telling if he needs to go. I guess it isn't that common that children aren't toilet trained but should I be getting worked up over something for something he isn't read to do? I have tried several times from the age 2+ so its not me being lazy

I was out of diapers at age three, I quit on my own when I saw they were for babies and I got tired of wearing them anyway and they were getting uncomfortable. But I had accidents up until the age of five and I messed myself until age four. But yet I always cleaned myself up after I do it. I remember I had toilet phobia for a while because it just made me nervous to sit on it, the water goes down there and it has a huge whole at the bottom where water goes down.

Mom used to sit me on the big toilet and hold me up and it was scary but once I started doing it in there, I got used to it and I didn't feel so scared anymore.

Mom tells me I was very difficult to potty train and I have vague memories about it. I remember having accidents because I would feel the need to go but couldn't hold it and sometimes I could. I also remember I be playing and then all of a sudden I feel the need to go and couldn't hold it. I hated having those accidents. The messing part be intentional. I don't know why I did it and then I hated being in messy pants. It took me two years to get the hang of controlling my bladder and I got better and better as I got older. But then I read it's normal for small children have accidents up until the age of six so what I went through was normal. Though my brothers didn't have accidents up until that age so either I didn't know about it or every child is different. I was five when I had my last one. Laughing so hard I wet myself doesn't count.

Have you tried potty schedules on him like have him go every two hours?

Getting worked up, no. But as toileting is such a basic human function, it's probably needful to work toward resolution in this case. Given your son's hypo sensitivity, you may need professional help from an occupational therapist.

I agree with this. My son was right around 4 before he was potty trained with urinating, and closer to 5 before he'd defecate in the toilet. Calling him potty trained was actually a really loose term. Initially, he would just hold it all day (literally) until he got a pull up on him. He isn't hyposensitive at all either, it was just not what he wanted to do, in spite of my efforts.

Good luck to you--

I take him every time I go which is about that. Also at school when they change him they sit him on the toilet. He loves the whole experiance. Take his trousers down, flushing the toilet, washing his hand. He just doesn't like sitting on the toilet for longer than 5-10 seconds as I guess its a rather boring thing for him. He has to be constantly on the go. So maybe trying a gameboy whilst he's on the toilet might be the way to go?

Hello,

I hope this incident didn't make you question your abilities as a parent. Shame on that nurse for being so harsh with you! ASD kids are often difficult to train -- some might even say notoriously. I know that my son was still in pull-ups at that age, and like you it was not for lack of trying. All part of developmental delay. I even ammended his pre-K IEP for that.

I hope that nurse is aware of your son's ASD and that you are able to bring some resources to his/her attention. People can be very judgemental about other people's potty training issues esp if their own child had no problems. AARGH, don't get me started

I agree with the other posters who suggested seeing an occupational therapist. It is very possible that he just doesn't associate the sensation we all get when we need to go with what he needs to do or perhaps he simply doesn't feel the sensation.
Although I don't quite have this problem, I have to tell my daughter every morning and every night before going to bed that she must go pee. She will tell me every time that she doesn't have to go. I ask her to just try and if nothing comes out then that is okay. (By the way, she always pees.) She is clean and toilet trained and plenty of times during the day will say that she has to pee, but in the morning and night don't seem to compute. She won't wet the bed if she doesn't go to the bathroom before sleeping, but will have a bad sleep and wake up often... but she won't associate that with needing to pee.
What she realy doesn't get in terms of sensation is that of hunger. She is "never" hungry. Any time you will ask her if she is hungry she will say no and would go the whole day without eating if it wasn't structured into her day.