Anyone's child "hate" recess?

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Im new here, and my daughter has autistic like behavior but not enough to be diagnosed with autism. However has been diagnosed with adhd,bipolar,anxiety disorder and ocd....
She has started 1st grade this year and since day 1 has complained the playground is too noisy, the kids are too loud and hurt her ears. She was getting to sit in the bench area and color cause drawing is her passion but forgot to bring in the crayons one too many times and lost the privledge. She is usually pretty sociable only with certain kids in her class but says she doesnt know where they are at recess.
She is already dreading school tomorrow because of this. Any advice?

OK, so she lost the right to color at recess because she forgets her crayons? ADHD/ASD kids tend to forget things even more than NT kids. Can you have an adult there be responsible to make sure she has her crayons. If they balk, maybe ask if you can add executive function stuff in her IEP, and ask for appropriate accommodations??

Aside from PE, recess is the other challenging part of my kiddos day at school.

It is a combination of:

Unstructured play

Children being loud, quick, and all around creating a sensory nightmare

Social skills are necessary to "succeed"


If there is a teacher or aide you can talk to about helping her during this time. At first, just to encourage her to do activities independently and keep busy. Then to do activities near other kids, and eventually to join play. Children that age naturally join other kids in play, so if she is doing something on the playground there will be more opportunities for her to interact with peers. If she is always on her own on the side, she will be missing out on those things. If she has a couple peers she likes, maybe nicely request for an adult to facilitate the initiation for play. Perhaps use the coloring as a reward for trying her best on the playground.

If she needs sensory breaks, is she able to request one? I think it is important for her to be able to take those breaks when she needs them.

I'm not a parent, but I will tell you what I remember thinking of recess back 10+ years ago.

I sometimes hated it. Most of my grade school tantrums were triggered during recess, and it's because the kids I interacted with were nasty or unfair. I have a very focused sense of "fair" and if I saw something I saw as unfair and protested, I was teased to the point of having tantrums.

After one particularly nasty tantrum, I stopped playing at recess altogether. I just wandered around putting away equipment that students were not using anymore. I did that for 9 months.

It sounds like your daughter has a great habit to keep her busy in drawing. I would hope that the school would make an exception for her case. Take care!

My son is homeschooled so recess isn't really an issue but we are part of a group that has "Gym day" and "Park day". For some time my son did not want to attend these but we are trying again this year with some success. He is currently on meds for anxiety, and I think this is helping him. It also helps that I am there to help him with problems that might pop up.
I can tell you that I personally hated recess and would just hang out in the lunch room untill they kicked me out.

I wish schools would be more accommadating to kids who are "outside the box". What does it hurt them if your daughter wants to sit and color? Why is this a "privledge"?

I wasnt sure what to ask from her school to help with this. Thank you for the suggestions. I talked to her teacher one time and she kinda brushed it off saying that she just isnt used to it because she was on the lil kid playground last year and she does have a very hard time adjusting. She explained she couldnt stay in the class room because that is the teachers break time and that the only way for her to get used to it was to go to recess. But she did give her the crayons and shes lost them now. Anyway I agree she needs to be out there but I do wish there was somebody to help her ge t started. She hangs around the yard duty and prefers adults but the teacher told me the yard duty is too busy for her. I just feel bad that she has the feeling of being lost at recess not knowing what to do. She said if she trys to run to the office the yard duty tells her go play. She obviously doesnt know how to just "go play" ....Im sure the school will tell me there isnt anyone available to go "babysit" her at recess. We just had her IEP and I forgot to bring it up because she was doin ok for a while....not complaining. But being off from school last week and anxiety of going back tomorrow is setting in. I just am unsure of how to go about asking and what to ask for, or what Im allowed to ask for....

You know, when I first started school, at recess I used to just wander around alone. Then on day a teacher took me and a couple of other loners and suggested we play together. This was one of the best things that ever happend to me. One of the other boys became one of the closets friends I've ever had.

You have my sympathies, my daughter hates playtime and lunchtime too. She much prefers when the weather is really bad and they don't get to go outdoors. The indoor play is structured and they have games or can do art. One thing that happens when she's outside which worries me is a few boys coming over to her and giving her a hard time. They then chase her (can't catch her as she's so fast). I've heard the way the speak to her and it's not all in good fun. She told the depute head about this and her answer was for her to go to stand beside the ladies who keep an eye on things - not really helping with her social skills. She put an idea in the ideas box which almost broke my heart. It said, 'Play spot - If you don't have anyone to play with, stand on the 'play spot' and people will see you and ask if you want to play.' I don't think this idea has been taken up, but I wish someone would try to encourage the kids to play together, not just watch out for fighting.

My primary school years were much easier than hers and I think it's mainly due to the fact that we played traditional playground games, like hopscotch, balls, ropes, elastics, handstands, etc. Very little social interaction was required for these and everyone appeared to get along as a result. But, I'm talking about nearly 30 years ago, a lot has changed since then.

My son didnt like recess because it was where he was being bullied the most as there were fewer teachers to watch the kids.
I have "eardefenders" for both my kids. They are earphones that protect your ears from loud noises, used for concerts, ect. They have a lot of them for kids as even NT kids can have sensitive hearing and they are still growing so going to a concert can damage hearing. You can still hear while wearing them but it takes the loud noises down to a tolerable level.
Also maybe if there is cement or asphalt on the playground could your daughter be allowed to use sidewalk chalk? I found that my daughter will pick up markers, crayons and chalk if she has a bucket or box to put them in so maybe you could get her a bucket for her sidewalk chalk. This may also help with some social skills as the other children may want to draw as well.

Here is a link for the headphones but you can look up the brand name and find them. Even the kid ones are a good fit for both my 6 year old and my 9 year old who has kind of a big head . http://www.envirosafetyproducts.com/pel ... muffs.html

My 11 year old son has Tourettes, OCD and anxiety. He has hated recess on and off all through the years and due to social issues mainly. Recess and lunch have long been a source of pain for my ds. I'm sorry your daughter is having problems too.

Could you ask your daughter to observe her classmates and then report to you the kind of games and activities in which the other children are engaging? It might help her to see how the big loud mass of kids, upon observation, breaks down into several groups- some much more sedate than others. Then, knowing her likes and dislikes you could guide her interest into joining one or another of the quieter/calmer groups of children, perhaps involving the teacher to hook her up with a likely playmate to hang out with her for awhile.

Also, it seems to me, the teacher has made her/his point about remembering the crayons and might reinstate the privilege if you asked. You could even provide additional crayons from home. And if it seems reasonable, drawing time during recess could limited to a few times a week.

I agree that it would be worth addressing this in your child's IEP.

Welcome to WP, you have my sympathies for sure! My son (5 yo ASD) hates recess too unless they get the balls out for the kids to play with (which for some unknown reason they don't always do). If the balls are out he stays in the corner and dribbles the ball for the entire time ususally. They also have basketball hoops set down low for the little kids and he sometimes will try to shoot baskets but this usually involves too much interaction with other kids. I would venture to say that no, she doesn't need to be out there. Unsuccessful social interactions are not going to teach your daughter anything. She is not likely to just absorb better coping skills by osmosis. My son's teacher lets him stay in her room and "work" on the computer instead of going out for at least 1 of the 3 recess times. Even though this is the teacher's break time, him being on the computer does not require any input from her other than she has to be in the room because its not accpetable to leave a 5 yo unattended in the classroom. I would encourage you to push a little more to get the school to make more effort on accomodations for your daughter. Really, if she has those diagnoses, they are legally required to meet her educational needs and that includes recess. There is a large body of law that is on your side if you need it.

Wright's Law

I used to wander, too, and my son with high functioning classic autism now does this. I used to also bring a book or my homework out onto the playground.

I think that they either need to help her to get involved and join the other kids or let her have her crayons and a coloring book. They can limit her to just four crayons if she is bringing too many outside.