URGENT need help

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I just got home from seeing my aspie girlfriend and i need to talk this out. here is a little back story a year ago on the 5th her mother died of an overdose of heroin and she is now living with her grandmother who i think has some serious undiagnosed mental health issues and tonight was for me the last straw. Her grandmother is horribly verbally abusive and cant even begin to understand what her granddaughter is going through. i have had long-term therapy and have gotten a hold on my ptsd to the point where i can handle stressful situations but the way she was screaming at Des(my girlfriend) caused me to shake harder than anything i have been a part of, ever. the worst being my father holding a gun to my head so my mother would have sex with him. And des stated that she wasnt in a state to talk about how she was feeling to her grandmother and her grandmother takes offense to the fact that des can speak to me about these things and says im trying to usurp her authority when in fact all that i want to do is help calm things down so it is a healthy place for des to call home. des started crying about all her fears and couldnt stop and when her grandmother pried and walk up to des when her back was turned she back up into the wall and broke a hole in it which i can tell was completly on accident and her grandmother started screaming and blaming how she was feeling on me and that what she did was on purpose. i dont know what to do, her grandmother wont change herself and she is truly the problem

That sounds like a very stressful and difficult situation to be in. I believe your girlfriend needs to be away from the grandmother. The grandmother sounds like she could have bipolar or some sort of schizophrenia does that sound like that could be why she behaves that way?
As long as you are there to support your girlfriend and in the long term she probably needs to talk about it with you more and counselling could be an idea for your girlfriend.
I believe in the long term your girlfriend may need to live away from her grandmother to give them both some space.
Hope that is good advice for you

the thing is she cant due to age she is 15 and im 18 (was 17 when we met) but i told her when she turns 18 she is going to be living with me regardless as to if we are together or not yeah i know my age probably creeps EVERYONE here out but i truly care. so im at a lost.

It doesn't creep me out, you sound like a really supportive and loving boyfriend and friend- which is what she really needs. I don't have any advice, it's a very difficult and sad situation and way out of my experience. I hope you find a solution, my fingers are crossed for you both.

The age difference is fine, and not creepy, but the grandmother could make legal problems for you, depending on your local laws, so be careful.

Does she have any other relative she could talk to who could take her in and fight grandma in court, if need be?

15 and 18 isn't that bad if you met at 17, but keep in mind, if you two do anything sexual, you could get arrested for statutory rape. Most states require you to be 16 to consent to sex.

In my country (New Zealand) the age of being allowed to have sex is 16 too. I believe you are being supportive and are a caring person towards your girlfriend. My heart goes out to you and your girlfriend and I hope things get better soon.

The age difference does not creep me out either, but do take heed to the previous advice about statutory rape. If the grandmother doesn't like you, this would be a very easy road for her to take and that will follow you for the rest of your life and make certain employment impossible. You will also be on the sex offender registry and anyone could look you up. You will then just look like a perv, because no one will know the specifics of what happened.

Could your girlfriend look into becoming emancipated? Is her grandmother her legal guardian? Because she is already 15, how would she feel about moving into the foster system until she finishes high school (assuming that is her plan). I believe she could petition family court to get her guardianship changed from her grandmother to the state, which I think would land her in foster care. A foster family might be much better than her grandmother.

You sound like a caring young man and she is lucky to have you.

Firstly, I'd like to say I'm sorry to hear that your gf's mom died.

This seems like a really toxic environment. It sounds like your gf needs to get out of the house if she is able. If not; be there for her, let her know it's not her fault. Also as stress mounts you may find that she has stress-related tics or stratagies in place to cope. Be suportive but also remember to take care of you too.

Hope everything gets better soon.

Okay, she is 15 and in a dangerous environment for her. You are 18 and in a stable situation for yourself.
In the United States, one can petition to become someone's legal guardian based on such conditions as a threat to one's safety and wellbeing. One, as a minor, can also petition for legal emancipation. If the grandmother agrees, both of those solutions are much simpler.
If you are very concerned for your girlfriend's immediate safety, seek out Child Protective Services, or see if your girlfriend will go to a local mental health center to speak with a social worker to seek resources which may help you both.

Yes, age of sexual consent is 16 in most places, however, most states (i'm in the US) make allowances if the couple has been together previous to the turning 18. In other words, the state usually won't prosecute, but the grandmother still may press charges if she wants to. Wait a few months until your girlfriend is 16, if your relationship is one of such intimacies.

Best to you. You sound like a very caring and thoughtful young man.