Still worried about walking around and talking at loud

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We are struggling for a few months now with puberty and AS anand agression and selfagression(thank god it stopped). we even got risperidon (as we see it no particular help, he was more hyper!).we managed to find a good highschool (for florists and gardeners), a special class and A GREAT HEADMASTER,and we hoped, with therapist, it will be better.our son functions intelectualy very well, but he is very isolated, so very alone that it hurts.but we don´t see that he wants to be with us, his family, even we offer our presence and friendship whenever he needs it.when we try to talk to him, it´s always so hard to communicate, or he usualy directs conversation towards movies and heroes (batman especially!)or soccer.he just reacts if you offer cakes, food he likes, juices...but he thinks only of himself first(ok, we are used to that for years).especialy annoing is the fact that he walks around the house and talks at loud about,again - heroes and soccer.he can go on for hours.medications are no good for him, besides risperidon he got zyprexa and almost died of what it´s called "neuroleptic syndrome".we found a therapist but he says that it it very difficult and confusing to work with our son because he uses his fantasy world to escape evrey time he mentions a paintful subject (socializing, responsibilties...)
we talked to psychiatrist she suggested "hospitalization for three weeks with no visits to become indipendent and responsible"?!
so, any of you with similar experience?any thoughts?

a thousand thanks and love to all, mamamoo

I wouldn't worry about the walking, loud talking and the fantasy worlds. Those are coping mechanisms and, while they may be confusing or annoying to you, they actually helpful to him. My son is like that sometimes, and it is fine. It helps him relieve stress and aggression in a way that is safe.

But, please, do NOT hospitalize your child. That psychiatrist is WRONG. Hospitalization will NOT help him him be independent or responsible. It will break the trust he does have and force him further into his own world. The WORST thing you can do to someone with ASD is take them out of the life they know and away from the places and things that are familiar. Many of our adult members were hospitalized as children and NONE say it did anything good at all.

I understand your concern about aggression, however. I forget, how old is your son? This is something I'd like to think about more.

I agree with DW. Hospitalization does not make a child independent!

I've been thinking more about your issue and I guess the first thing I would ask is, "what does your son do to self-calm and how free is he to do it when needed?" As I posted, my son walks and talks to self-calm, and also obsessively touches things and chews on things. He NEEDS to do these things and, while they seem weird and there was a lot of pressure from society to squash them, we decided instead to encourage them. Why? Because when he does all those things he is less aggressive. And having a child that does not hurt himself or others is far more important than having a child who acts "normal."

Once the more dangerous behaviors were under control we worked with him on time and place for the self-calming behaviors.

Puberty is a tricky time. Your child is experiencing a very confusing rush of changes in his body, in his social life, and in what is expected from him at school. He needs, more than ever, to physically self-calm himself. If he cannot do that, he will experience more and more stress build up, and stress build up prevents him from exercising proper self-control. Please be careful to separate behaviors that are closely tied to his condition, and actually beneficial to him, from those that absolutely most be controlled for safety reasons.

He may need a cut back in scheduled activities at this point, as well, just so he can properly decompress.

My son also did a stress management group just before puberty that he found helpful.

I know this advice runs against what you hear from the rest of the world where you live, but it WORKS.

Regression and aggression is common with puberty, because of the stress. Most likely the increase in the walking and talking is a response to the stress. Address the stress, don't add to it.

Once you've got the stress and aggression under control, THEN you can work on behaviors being "appropriate." It will never be straight road; there will always be progress and set back; but kids do develop and improve and get where they need to be - if allowed to do it at their own natural pace.

to get answers like that...it helps and calms a lot.
mamamoo