Book - When the labels don't fit

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Mummy_of_Peanut
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07 Dec 2011, 3:42 pm

Has anyone read this book? I bought it as my daughter is a bit of an enigma. She doesn't fall neatly into a box (I know, who does?) and displays traits of Aspergers, ADHD, SPD, giftedness and possibly ODD.

It arrived a couple of days ago and I completed the temperament questionnaire. The thing is, the result of the 'source of energy' section is that she's quite clearly an introvert. But, when I read the description for an extrovert, it describes some of the things she does, e.g. rushes forward into every new situation; talks to strangers without restraint. The talking to strangers thing is really quite a major part of her personality. Sometimes she appears to forget she's with us and goes off and joins other family groups, as we watch on, bemused (although I have experience of my mum doing something similar). I also have queries with the 'excitability and arousal level' and 'concentration'. She seems to slip between high arousal and slow to arouse and between wide focus and deep concentration.

Has anyone else completed the questionnaire and found similar discrepancies? Had I filled out the questionnaire for myself, I would have had the same result, I'm sure. I know I'm filling it out correctly as it makes sense that an introvert 'wouldn't mind hanging out at home all day without even getting dressed' or 'needs to be by himself when he comes home from school'. But, how can this same introvert (my daughter) also have an eagerness to talk with strangers and to jump straight into new situations (apparently extrovert traits). If I can't even get this bit right, I'm not sure which parts of the book are relevant to our situation.

Thanks


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DW_a_mom
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07 Dec 2011, 4:51 pm

I haven't read that book, but in the classic personality quiz used by businesses I used to test extrovert, and the reason is because the meaning is different than what we assume it is. Extrovert is not about how you act but about how you measure and evaluate, ie against internal measures or from outside signals.


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LittleBlackCat
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08 Dec 2011, 1:20 pm

I haven't heard of this book either, but from what you have said I would have similar discrepancies in my own personality. Maybe they just haven't defined very clearly what they mean by extrovert/introvert in this particular context.



Mummy_of_Peanut
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09 Dec 2011, 4:54 am

Thanks guys. The author's website has an e-mail address and I think I'm going to send her an e-mail (not a criticism of her book as I'm sure it's great, once I get going, just for advice). The trouble with my daughter is that, although she comes across as an extreme extrovert (and the author's description of an extrovert adds to this confusion), she obviously gets her energy from being on her own. That's what makes her an introvert. But, I'll check with the author, in case she (and us) are unusual in this respect.

I've been confused about myself too. I was a very outgoing youngster, just like my daughter, and I think most people would have thought I was an extrovert. But, when I think about it, even then, I did spend a lot of time on my own, in my own wee world. So, I'm sure I'm really an introvert. However, I also like to talk to people. If I'm standing or sitting close to someone and we're not talking, I feel really uncomfortable and usually I'm the one to make the first move and I can talk, talk, talk. But, I suppose that doesn't make me an extrovert, by definition.


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