Something Weird Happened at School

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Hi Everyone,

I'm not really looking for advice, but it would be nice to hear if any of you have similar stories.

My daughter's teacher approached me yesterday and said that something had happened on Wednesday, that she had meant to tell me about, but had forgotten. Anyway, she went on to say that she doesn't really know what happened, but tried to explain what she knew.

The description went something like this:
'We had a bad day yesterday. Peanut told one of the adults that she had allowed one of the P1s (4/5 yr olds) through a door. This resulted in the headteacher getting involved and a head count of all the P1s, to ensure no-one had escaped. I don't know exactly what happened. All the kids were accounted for and Peanut couldn't explain properly what she had meant.'

So I told the teacher that I would try to speak to her to get a better understanding of what she did. I spoke to her and she says she has forgotten what happened, so I'm at a dead-end there.

My thinking is that she said she had held a door open for a child, probably an internal door. When she spoke to the adult, she was maybe trying to point out that she had been helpful and was expecting someone to say, 'That was nice, you have good manners'. Instead, they probably thought, 'Why is she telling me this? Does she mean she let a child out of an exit, when they should have been inside? We need to find that child.' It seems like there was a panic over nothing at all, caused by a misunderstanding of the purpose of my daughter's words.

I'm not sure if this is something I should to speak with the school about in greater detail. I don't want her getting into trouble for this sort of thing. She's not a bad girl at all and, if anything, would go all out to protect a little one, not put them in danger. She's only a P2 herself, actually younger than some of the P1s.

I've had similar experiences of muddled stories about things, usually innocuous, which have happened at school.

My suggestion is that you ask if you can meet informally with the class teacher for a chat about how Peanut is getting on generally. I've done that a few times over the years (my son is in P6 now) and it's always been helpful.

Ditto that. I think a casual chat with the teacher, mentioning the 'other' possible meaning of what your daughter said, would be a good idea. Sounds like they possibly overreacted just a touch or at least didn't think of what else what she said might possibly mean.

My son is 4 1/2 and we are in a situation where we are not in our home country and I don't fluently speak the language his teacher speaks. My son is doing remarkably well in two languages. It's tough sometimes though getting stories straight. Every day when I ask him what he did in school, I get the same answer: 'I don't remember, because I had so much fun.' When I mention things to him that his teacher says he did, he answers with, 'I don't know' and avoids eye contact.
I think any kind of extra communication you can have with the school could be beneficial!

Thanks, Marcia and angelgarden. At the last parents evening, I asked if I could meet with them fairly regularly (once a month or so) to discuss things and they were quite happy with that. It's a big school and approahing teachers on line duty isn't allowed, so meetings have to be pre-arranged. The month is up, so I'll ask for a meeting.

The parents' evening didn't go so well as I got a little emotional and I felt like one of the teachers was trying to weigh me up. She made me feel really uncomfortable, by watching my hands. I speak with them a lot and was nervously trying to clasp them together. I don't feel I made a connection with her and her view of my daughter's reading was in complete opposition to my opinion, so I think I irritated her quite a bit. They were very sympathetic, but with few answers. The other teacher is on maternity leave and there is a temp replacement, so it will be the one I'm not so keen on that I would meet with. I'm a little apprehensive about meeting her again, but it has to be done.

I would maybe also suggest that if they really don't understand....to ask her to show them what she did or ask, show me the door....
Then help her to put it in better words.....

Thanks. I think I'll have to suggest that, if something like that happens again, they'll have to be more thorough with their questioning and ask her to demonstrate it - that's a great idea. My daughter has particularly good communication skills and doesn't really have a problem explaining something. But, she becomes annoyed when people don't immediately get what she's on about or if they ask her to repeat herself. I don't think this was the case that day. I think they just jumped to conclusions.