ADD meds

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I was heartened to see the postings cautioning the parent of the 5yo against meds. So I thought I'd air out my current thinking and ask for your opinions and experiences.

I fear meds b/c studies about stunting brain development are lacking and my kids don't have any weight to lose. I am trying as many natural options for ADD as I can. My 11yo daughter is ADD. My 10yo son has Aspergers, high IQ and extremely slow processing speed which is read as ADD. I homeschool and he sets us back terribly by making noises while I teach. I am committed to our homeschool trajectory for social reasons and so I'm not interested at this time to have him do all computerized curriculum. (Plus, the computerized cur I tried was very slow - you had to wait until it did all it's wonderful jokes and graphics and stuff. Too gimmicky for me.) In looking at the whole picture, something has to give. I always thought that I could homeschool only one kid well.

I'm wondering if I should be open to ADD meds for my daughter. If her room was clean, she took less of my attn for schooling and she helped around the house more, I think that would set us much farther ahead. Do you think I should put aside my concerns about medicating my 11yo?

I think meds should be set aside until closer to adulthood because that way the person has a right to chose. Now if your children were participating in harmful behaviors then medication could be considered an option, but I think meds should be a last resort. I think I'd of disliked my parents if they put me on meds and it wasn't something I had good enough understanding of to make an informative choice of my own.

If she is truly unable to learn, I'd consider it, but if it's a messy rom and whatnot, I'd say no. But I don't know your famliy or your daughter!

I guess I'm confused about what behaviors you are trying to change. What are some things you are hoping the meds change? From what you read, it is your son who seems to need the support, so why do you feel your daughter needs medication?

Good question. I'm trying to look at the whole picture. I have tons of options, most of which we have decided against - like sending the kids to school. Meds have up to now been in that category. But homeschooling takes way too much time and effort, the house is a mess, other work doesn't get done or is late, etc. Something has to give. We have little time to enjoy anything. All school work and little play b/c my kids cannot focus on their work. I don't want bring my schoolwork expectations any lower b/c they do so little while their minds are quite bright. So I'm thinking if at least my dd could focus more, that would help the whole picture, with me giving more attention to my son.

I think meds are only one part of a whole treatment process. That being said, I believe they can help boost a person into becoming successful at what they are attempting to achieve. For a child, a low dose of meds can give them the edge they need to focus and complete tasks, reduce impulsivity, and manage behavior. Without the interventions of coping skills, interpersonal skills, time management skills, etc. they do not work as well. But they can allow the child to effectively use the skills they are learning. For school/learning/work purposes, I recommend they do not resort to medication until fourth grade. This is when the expectations for focussing, sitting still, long tasks begins and when brain development wise, children of all ages begin to develop those skills. I recommend starting on a low dose and increasing slowly, especially with AS kids who tend to be more sensitive to meds. I also recommend finding a psychiatrist or developmental pediatrician who specializes in ASD as they are more likely to understand the nuances associated with medicating a kid with AS.

For example, my son (10yo) is hyper, impulsive and has problems finishing tasks. We were reluctant to try medication. The psychiatrist did NOT recommend ADHD meds first. She suggested an SSRI (antidepressant) often given to people with OCD to reduce the perseverations on tasks (I call it getting "stuck") which was keeping him from finishing his work, and resulting in high stress for him, disruptive behaviors (making noises, tapping pencil, kicking desk, arguing) and multiple meltdowns every day. Unfortunately, a side effect of the med is increased energy (hyperactivity), but for my son this has meant less behavior problems. So while he wiggles more, he is more focussed, able to move on past difficult problems, and reacts more calmly to let-downs such as poor grades, the teacher not calling on him etc. We also put him on a no caffeine diet (as the affects of caffeine are multiplied on this med).

I really hate medicating children too, and this is really a hard decision to make.

I am in this exact position! What I am finding as a solution is making the work interesting. My son CANT sustain attention when it's boring and for him meds don't even work - so not an option.

for instance, trying to get my son to read his science and then write an essay for english was a nightmare. When I asked him if he could produce a video news segment on the science topic, which he would need to research, script, direct and produce, he was all for it. I told him that he could be the on air talent or recruit and direct the talent. He then needed to edit, and could use the green screen he wanted a year ago. This was a much much bigger project than a simple essay and read a chapter - but he was engaged and is doing a teriffic job!

I am actually planning to do a youtube channel of his "unschool" work.

BTW - If your kids have attention problems at home, school won't fix them.

Keep looking for ways to educate your kids that will hold their attention.

Give them PE credit for housecleaning!

Well... how much would the meds cost? What if instead, you spent the money on someone to come in and help you with the housework?

Dang! I wish I'd thought of that when I was homeschooling mine. Imagine having a clean house and not having to clean it...

awesome idea!!

Wait, wait, wait... Your son sets you back because he makes noises while you're trying to teach and you want to medicate your daughter for having a messy room? Am I missing something?

If your home schooling your kids and they can't pay attention why not make the material your teaching them more interesting by incorporating their interests creatively into their studies. You could set up a reward system too for doing well. You can also teach them to do chores with you and have small rewards for that so that when they are adults they know how to look after themselves. One type of reward could be a special weekend play date where you take them out to play a sport or go swimming, skiing that kind of thing. You could also take them to tutoring services to give yourself a break so you can keep organized.

Thanks for all the ideas, keeep them coming. Unfortunately my kids don't have special interests but I can use this idea. The housecleaning idea, wow, my house isn't picked up enough for someone else to clean it. How would that work?

Unduki, yeah, it's hard to give you the whole picture - I'm sorry, I'm pretty NT. They are both ADD. She is clearly a space case and takes all day to get little schoolwork done. It's not just her room, she puts nothing away. I could handle that better if it were only her. He literally spends hours in front of the computer, insisting that he is starting his paper and every 15 minutes I see nothing typed in. He'll scream at me if I say anything about it. He is doing much better in math b/c we focused on that for months but I'll have to do that for every subject. Again, I could handle only him or only her. Each of them only gets work done if I spoon-feed each lesson and activity.

My thinking is to med her, rather than him, b/c her case is more simple and easy to tell how it is working. She is also older - a bit more brain development. I understand her and could pick up how a med is acting. He confuses me enough already. Then I could try him later.

That help?

Not to be too disparraging because it sounds like you are working really hard to do what you see to be the best thing with your kids but it sounds like your lesson plan isn't working so well with them. Is there a homeschool group in your area that you could tap into for some ideas to change things up so it isn't such a grind? I always thought that homeschooling would be all about doing projects with the kids that they chose and found interesting and getting to take them to museums and on other field trips basically whenever you wanted to and stuff like that. So that kids really got into it. A friend of mine had her now 8 yo at public school for the first 2 years and is now homeschooling and I am a bit envious. I know there are things that both my boys find absolutely tedious and my ASD son simply won't do but there are also things that they find totally engrossing! There seem to be so many ways to incorporate the basic things that kids need to learn into fun projects (at least I've seen teachers do it and read about teachers who do it). Getting more creative with your lessons seems like an option that is less likely to have harmful side effects than medication.

Oh and on the house cleaning, I know it is a lot of work to get it picked up to the point that someone else can come in and clean but once you do it, even if they only come in and do a few rooms, you will find it to be a BIG help. I know its tough to bite the bullet at first. For a while I had a cleaning service come, they did the bathroom, the kitchen and the living room every other week. It made me get things picked up that often and it was enough to help me feel like I could keep my head above water.

Perhaps homeschooling is not the appropriate environment for them.

Well our now 17yo son was diagnosed ADD-inattention perhaps seven years ago and latterly ASD.

Like original poster's daughter he never gets anything done, unless maybe it is one of his special interests, unless you are checking all the time. (Still trying to understand it. He had his last exam yesterday; I had given him a clear schedule of study in the leadup to the exam - when he had only done half of that in his third day before the exam, I emphasised to him he needed to complete the whole task - and he got cross with me for doing that. But then next day his second last day before the exam my daughter contacted me around 7pm to advise he had done no study the whole day! I guess the siren call of the internet just got in the way, and without a NT sense of the urgency of the matter, plus a wish to avoid doing the hard yards, he simply had not done anything!)

We had our son on Ritalin for several years after his ADD diagnosis and it seemed somewhat helpful. For some reason his mother took him off it, and he was struggling a lot so we thought he should resume. The psychiatrist who rediagnosed him ASD said he should not take Ritalin, so we arranged to bypass this and our son went back on Ritalin. He has said that it demotivates him (ie stops him from following his obsessions, but does get rid of the distractions). With that and the use of the book Smart but Scattered, I have made some progress with things like tidying up - I've made lists of what needs doing and stuck them on the wall. I also have two whiteboards where I write out what needs doing that day and that week. (That said we are going to review his Ritalin use over the next few weeks).

I think Ritalin is no magic pill but it has helped our son in my view. In original poster's shoes I would not be averse to the use of Ritalin allied to making and enforcing lists and working through eg Smart but Scattered.

For housecleaning, there are a couple of easy things you can do to start.

First off - when the kids are not focusing, hand them a bag and tell them you are setting a timer for 10 minutes. It is a race to see who can fill the bag with the most...... (and you insert one of the following, based on the house)

of your own garbage to throw out
toys to give away
Your possesions in the living room (kitchen...wherever is cluttered with their stuff!) that belong somewhere else
Dirty laundry
Clean laundry
legos
dirty dishes
whatever needs to be picked up that you can make a 10 minute project will work

OH - about the writing...my DS just wont do it. However, he will narrate. This is a great start. If they can't do what you are asking, find another way for them to learn the same skill.

good luck!


Lately, I have been doing, clothes that don't fit, toys to give away

If you do this every day, you will see progress. And come on, no matter how overwhelmed you are, anyone can do 10 minutes. Set the timer and stop when it goes off. No mucking with anything else dring that 10 minutes. Don't even go to the bathroom, or start the timer over.

While they are doing their 10 minutes you can do....

throw away junk mail
clean kitchen (even if 10 minutes is too little, keep coming back 10 minutes at a time - you will see progress)
fold clothes and put away what's folded.
Sort laundry and put a load in.

I am a slob who likes a tidy house. this is a real problem!