Teenage communication problems

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Hello..I feel a little sad atm. For the last couple of years I seem to be spending less and less time with my teenage aspie son which is expected. He just turned 15 yrs old and I felt we had wonderfully close relationship up until probably 2 yrs ago.

However, it has got to a point where all I get out of him is about two words . I know nothing about his life, his friends, whether he is happy or sad or otherwise.

I ask him questions but don't get any response or just an irritated one. I feel I am always having a go at him - "please have a bath , please get out of bed for school, please put on deoderant, please get your clothes on , please come and have some dinner, please do your teeth". I have to ask him around 20 times before he does any of these, but it seems to be the only time I am talking to him. I don't get a response. If I try to make conversation about things I think he might enjoy but I just get told I talk too much (At dinner for instance once a week!)

I want so much to be an excellent parent, and , on the plus side it's good that my son spends more time by himself as his self reliance is my ultimate goal as a mother and I would love him to be able to go off to uni and stay in halls which he wants. I just wish I could get him to speak to me more.

I Does anyone have any suggestions or tips on what I could do. If anything? I realise this is normal teenage behavior:?

*edited to be less rantlike*

Your son is doing pretty much what any teen does at this age. Keep an eye out for depression. You might want to start letting him be responsible for his own hygiene and such. You might find as you stop talking at him he might start talking more. And yes, he very likely is going to fail to do things you think he should do.

UNfortunately my son does not wash bathe etc if I leave him to his own devices ( which I do at the weekend and give him the chance to do) so that's certainly a nono at least for now.

Me asking him to do these things is far better than him being Bullied or losing his friends through lack of personal hygiene . I speak from experience.

I'm sure my son will learn to do these things in time as I explained how important it is. It's up there with him getting good grades and once it finally sinks in , then he should ( fingers crossed ) start to do it on his own.


But thanks for the advice. Maybe I posted this in the wrong section. I suppose it's more of a rant than anything else. I just felt a bit sad that I don't feel as close to him any more and just having a bit of self doubt today.

He's a teenage boy. He stinks to high heaven if he doesn't bathe for even a day!

Trust me I have a LOT of experience with this. People DO lose friends through not bathing particularly when the people you are with are your friends probably only due to you being in the same vicinity as them ( in the same form group) After a couple of weeks of not bathing every day people will start avoiding you. I have been in groups where peopke were shunned for such, and they didn't say anything to the person who smelled, but they avoided them and spoke about them behind there backs. It's unfair but true. I think people are naive to think that personal hygeine isn't that important in the NT world. It is. VERY much so.

However, I know there have been some posts regarding personal hygiene versus aspies, and I kno what alot of aspie's don't feel it's that important. I don't think it's a depression thing.

I think I was just having a bit of self doubt yesterday.

I told my son how I was feeling and that I felt sad that I might not know if he was happy or not.

He told me I was being stupid and that he is fine and even played his game on the TV downstairs so I am pretty happy.