Asperger's and Jake

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My son who is now 7, was diagnosed with Asperger's two years ago. I had known that something was special about him, from the day he was born. There are not many newborns that will look directly into your eyes and hold a gaze with you, for what eerily felt like minutes. It was almost like he was reading my thoughts. He could speak complete sentences at the age of one, and could understand three part commands at that point too. Developmentally, though he could not even walk till he was 18 months old. I have never met anyone so intelligent, and I have never met anyone so frustrating in my whole life. He is obsessed with action figures. He stands there and slips into his own world twisting them and twisting them and staring at them so intently, and it can last for long periods of time if I don't interrupt him. He only acts this way at home, but is a very quiet at school. As soon as he comes home he is either busting out "Piano Man" by Billy Joel, or doing a stand up comedy routine. He is my little Rain Man, but he has a Dark Side. He despises people, and is very anti social. There are only a few people he is close to, and thankfully I am one of them. I love him so much, but he is the Master of Manipulation, and in one second I am so pissed off and in the next he has me laughing in hysterics with one of his many comedy routines. My family members want to brush it under the rug and say I am just labeling my child, even though he was diagnosed. I am just frustrated and needed to vent. Any suggestions?? Does any of this sound familiar??

[Moved from General Autism Discussion to Parents' Discussion]

He needs supports in place if he has ASD - a therapist, some meds, whatever works.

I am not saying this necessarily because of anything you've said - I think everyone with asperger's syndrome should have supports in place, more then just their family.

Welcome to Wrong Planet-

I have a 6 yr old son that was diagnosed as PDD-NOS when he was 2.5 yrs old. He too did not walk until he was 21.5 mos old. He had language, but it sounds like your son's language developed a bit quicker than my son. My son never played with other children, and still really does not, although he doesn't mind being around them, he just doesn't really know how to enter into their games. He is pretty smart too, although he is in a special class at school because he gets easily distracted and needs one on one attention. He is reading now and the teacher said he is reading above grade level. (He is in 1st grade) He is really good at memorizing things and his memory is off the charts. He remembers peoples faces and names that we met when he was like 2 and 3 yrs old that he only met once.

My son is obsessed with car makes and models. That is pretty much about all he wants to talk about. He can tell you the make and model of a car just by looking at the shape of it. He loves to go for walks just to look at all of the cars in the neighborhood and he loves to look them up on the internet.

My son is doing better at school, but when he is at home he runs around and flaps his hands and makes loud random noises, and will say words over and over again. I hate to say it, but if someone saw the way he acted at home, they would think he was mentally ret*d. Although when we go out in public, he can act fairly normal. He can carry on a simple conversation with an adult.

I adore my son as well, and can't imagine my life without him, but I can totally relate to what you are saying about being frustrated. I worry about my son's future because even though I know he is intelligent, I just don't know how things are going to go if he cannot interact with his peers.

I am glad you came to Wrong Planet, please feel free to VENT anytime you want to. That is what we are here for!

Welcome to WP. I was struck by your use of the term "anti-social". Does he despise all people, kids and adults equally or is it more about other kids? From an early age, my little guy conversed at length with adults but could have cared less for most of the other kids he came into contact with. It would be very understandable for a child as mentally advanced as yours to have little interest in interacting with his age peers.

One small point: It is spelled Aspergers not Asperger's. Hmmmm. I wonder if people with Asp-bergers look after herds of snakes?

That would be Aspherders, no?

All of the below:



Welcome to Wrong Planet!

As for suggestions ... I think what struck me is that you feel he is manipulative and has a dark side. I would caution you on those terms, and ask you to consider that you could be misunderstanding his actions and reactions. While AS children can be both of those things, from reading here I've learned that they aren't as often as parents seem to think they are, and growing up with that sort of misunderstanding from a parent really digs at a child, as many of our adult AS members can tell you.

Digging into the potential misunderstanding further, however, will take time.

wow...I am impressed with all the responses that came so quickly. I am thankful to have the support that this community offers, and it is good to know that I am not alone.