Can I post here about a problem with the school?

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I have AS but my kids don't. I just found out about something that happened at the school, and it ticked me off. Maybe other parents would have some suggestions.

My 15yo DD is in 9th grade. She usually has a B average and one of her favorite subjects is Science/Biology. She had been bringing home A's in that. Her science teacher died suddenly from a stroke several weeks ago and things were in an adjustment period at the school because of it. The teacher died at the point in time where some reports were due. My daughter had turned hers into the newly assigned permenant teacher when she was appointed and now they refuse to accept the paper, bringing my daughter down to a D in science.

Shouldn't they take into consideration that the teacher died suddenly and it might throw the kids off some? DD was close to Mrs M, because they had some of the same pets, and DD was in science club, and saw Mrs M as a type of mentor. Mrs M was going to advise her about which classes to take etc because DD wants to eventually be a marine biologist.

I can see them not accepting late papers if the teacher goes on maternity leave, or has a family emergency and leaves, but the paper was ready on time, none of the sub's asked for the papers though. Other kids turned them in, but DD waited until the permenant teacher was there to turn hers in. She was told today, on the last school day of the semester, that it wasn't accepted or counted. There is no one at the school now to call and talk to about this nor will there be until the first part of January.

They also need to take into consideration the emotional toll it took on some of the students who were close to Mrs M. They did not do this. The only concession they made to that was allowing students to check out early to attend her funeral, which DD did. Some of them went on a school bus, which is how DD went, as I don't have a car at the moment.

What would you other Mom's and Dad's do about this? By the time school is open again, the grades will be in the computers. Should I just let it go and know that next semesters grades will bring up her yearly average, or should I go up there and insist that something be done about this? I also don't know how many other kids are in this same situation. If several are, then my chances of getting them to reconsider are better.

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No way would I let it go, but I am quite the mama bear. These grades are, at this point, very important to your daughter's future, not just self esteem, and you can bet other parents would be making a stink.

Not that making a stink always gets you anywhere, but you never know.

I've learned to accept all this zero tolerance on late papers baloney (and I call it baloney because it has SO much more to do with organizational skills than it does learning, and zeros have an exponentially negative affect on grades, which is ridiculously out of proportion to what they are trying to teach), because too many kids at these ages would rather live inside their hormones than stay on top of schoolwork, so it does help the schools keep well run classrooms, but, geez, not even as adults do we live in a world where hypercritical, can't miss deadlines occur every week, and those zeros are devastating.

The death is a very good reason to negotiate for a little understanding "this one time," and no way can they say it will open the door to every student taking advantage. They should understand that it isn't fair to shock your daughter twice (once with the loss of the teacher, and again with the unexpected zero).

If you can negotiate that to half credit, take it.

And they absolutely should have given her some way to know the paper wasn't being counted long before the end of the semester, and AT MINIMUM they need to affirmatively provide you with how that situation will be avoided in the future.

Both my kids have learned to check on school loop postings or directly with their teachers on a regular basis to make sure there are no zeros. My NT daughter, especially, is an eagle about it, after having seen what her AS brother has gone through. It becomes part of what they must do to succeed, and they've accepted that. I still don't like it, but am glad my kids learned to be proactive.

But my kids got to learn that in 6th grade, when the grades didn't really count. Much more heartbreaking when you have to learn it at 15.

I'm curious, is the concept of being proactive something you've discussed with your daughter? Here is the thing: if there was any issue about when the paper should get turned in, she should have been asking an adult at the school what to do. Being proactive is a very NT concept, and my AS husband still isn't comfortable with it; he'd rather stay melted into the walls; so teaching our kids to do things like this is very much my realm; but people HAVE to advocate for themselves in ways that are effective. Lots of NT kids are naturals at it, but others need to be introduced to it; I think for many with AS it isn't natural at all (defending yourself being different from taking actions to prevent problems).

So sorry to hear about the loss of the teacher.

My thought, though this could be off-base as every school is different, is that just because the grade will be in the computer come Jan when the teachers and kids are back at school does not mean that it cannot still be changed. Heck, in college even after grades were posted I recall going and arguing with a professor over my grade because I didn't feel he had given me credit for attendance which he had stated at the beginning of the semester he would. I got that grade changed. As you have stated, this is a pretty unusual and exceptional circumstance. That combined with the fact that your DD has a proven track record of carrying good grades should be enough to convinve them to give her at least some credit for the paper. Good luck, and try not to fret too much over the break. I really think there is room for negotiation even after the new term starts.

I used to be a teacher, and while it is more paperwork to change a grade in the computer, and they may give you the run-around, it can be done and is done. We just had to fill out a form stating the change, why the change, and have it signed by the teacher and the principal. It took about 3 weeks to show up on the official computer student file.

It is worth the effort to set up an official meeting during the teachers conference period and go in and talk to him/her. This will get you farther and capture their full attention better than calling or catching them before school, after school or between classes.

DW, she is somewhat proactive, but nowhere near so as her older sister. She is the youngest in a family of four and somewhat spoiled. She does expect people to tell her what they expect of her. If this had happened to my son who lives with us, the 16yo, he would have gone off and broken things probably at school and probably gotten suspended for it. I've tried to get him some help, but there is none available in my county and so we all just have to deal with his moods. She, on the other hand, acts like she doesn't care, but I can see that she does. It upset her very badly and she only showed that to me, but acts blase over it to the other kids.

I know you all have a lot to deal with with autism, but I have so much to deal with with NT kids and either schools not acting right or my own kids not acting right. My younger son, the 16yo, he's pretty violent. He's also mean to teachers when he feels that anything is unfair. He's like me in that respect. He will hold a grudge until it thunders it seems.I once went to jail over my daughter not having notes from a doctor for absences. There was an umbrella note there stating that she was under a doctors care and at times would miss without needing to see a doctor. The judge saw it differently, he's an idiot and only elected because his brother owns the insurance agency here and their cousin works the polls and they have access to who voted for whom. So they would drop your insurance if you don't vote right.

But yes, I spent a weekend in jail because my daughter has a medical conditon and i did as the school and doctor told me. The school is not my friend here, you have to understand that. It's a very, very small town and things are kind of crazy here about certain things.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

OliveOilMom - I would talk to the school and try to fight this. How can they not treat the sudden death of a teacher as an extenuating circumstance? I would hope that most schools would have offered grief counseling as well. But, if your daughter has a history of doing well in the class and turning in assignments on time, she should get a little slack in this situation.

And it is SO worth fighting. Those semester grades are generally reported to colleges. So, every high school grade is important.

I am sorry you have such a rough time with your local school. I am going to be enrolling my son in public school for the first time starting in January. I plan to have it written in to his IEP that every Friday and 1 other afternoon a week are for therapy and doctor's appointments. If they need me to, I will get something from the therapists stating that he has regular appointments with them, but I am NOT going to deal with a zillion notes excusing him for each and every appointment. My younger son is in private school, and I can keep him home or take him out whenever I want to with or without a reason. Public schools are getting a bit ridiculous.