blossoming but clinging

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My son is just busting with eagerness to learn new skills lately... one useful thing I've gotten from the behavioral services is understanding how important it is for him to understand the "process" of what he's doing and he seems to just love learning new processes. He's been doing more self care and helping a lot with household chores.

At the same time, he is sooooo clingy! He wants our presence constantly and seeks endless attention and reassurance of how much we love him and how great he is. It's pretty exhausting.

Does this sound like normal development, or could it be that his anxiety level is very high? He's also been shrieking a lot when startled, which makes me think he's anxious.

Thats awesome!



My DS (10 y.o.) is also clingy, and needs a lot of physical affirmation of our love and acceptance. However, while I give it freely, at times, I have to draw some boundaries. I too struggle with this.



How old is he? It might be anxiety.

If he is asking the same question and wanting the same response over and over, could it be a stim?

He's ten. I don't think it's a verbal stim, although it has stimmy aspects -- for example, wanting certain phrases associated with high fives every time.

I'm thinking that maybe with all the changes he just needs extra reassurance that some things won't change.

At one point, shortly after her dx, my almost 12 year old seemed to revert to being my little girl again. She went back to hugging and wanting to sleep with us and having her back scratched. She also asked "why"? constantly. I realized that she was really hungry to learn and had figured out a way to do it. It was as though she understood that I could speak her language, and she wanted to talk to me all the time. She made a lot of progress socially, psychologically and intellectually. Fortunately, this was in the summer, when we are much less stressed, and I enjoyed taking the time she wanted to spend with me. (She wasn't very affectionate or talkative with me in the months before her dx, when middle school was going badly for her.)

I think this kind of desire for physical and verbal affection is really quite positive for kids on the spectrum. We can only do what we can, of course, but I'd say to try to connect in one way or another. The psychologist suggested writing short messages down for my dd, and we converted that to texting (with lots of smileys). That's one way we've found to respect each other's needs and boundaries.

J.