How to parent? Here's a really good place to start.

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I was just reading this blog post about parenting a toddler, and it struck me - I think this is a good overview of what our kids on the spectrum really need from us: http://www.phdinparenting.com/2011/12/1 ... u1tbmOBq0s

Obviously, babywearing isn't going to work for us, but her mantra of ‘Be Prepared’ and ‘Practice Damage Control’ really rung true to me. I'm curious what all of you think about how this might apply to parenting all different ages of Aspies (with concessions for different individuals, of course.)

I loved the article. I feel that way almost every day with my 10-year old AS and 7-year-old ADHD sons. I always have to try to stay one step ahead of them.

With my AS son, I am constantly calculating the anxiety risk possibilities. If I see no significant possibility of stress for him, I am able to give him a lot of independence. He is very mature and capable when he is not stressed. I try to take advantage of these situations, because he needs the freedom and independence and it doesn't do either of us any good for me to hover all the time. If there is a significant chance that something will stress him, however, I need to try to 1) change the situation if possible to reduce the anxiety 2) try to prepare my son for whatever is coming 3) be prepared to try to intervene at the first sign of a meltdown, and/or 4) figure out how to ride out the meltdown or have a plan for getting us out of the situation during a meltdown. Some days I do well at running these scenarios through my head, but my AS and ADHD make it hard for me to always be that many steps ahead. And, sometimes anxiety-provoking events happen without enough warning for me to plan for them. But, that is also part of the "be prepared". I try to have things with me to distract my son when he starts to melt down.