Aggression and irritation

Post Reply New Topic

Sorry if I asked this before....its just so difficult for us to accept this as part of ASD!?
Does your aspies also suffer from extreme irritibility and even aggressive outbursts?
Its hard for us to accept when gfg pushes or shuves us or even hit or pinch my arm....we subtract minutes from his skate park outing on Saturdays for this behaviour.....Where in the diagnostic criteria does this fit in? Is it part of the poor impuls control, misunderstanding of social expectations and consiquences?

yes, I think part of it is poor impules control, poor coping skills, poor communication skills, lack of self regulation, etc etc. It also kills me when my 6yo son tries to kick or hit or bite...when he is in that frame of mind he resorts to very primal responses. My son earns video game time for good listening, good behavior, etc.when heis agressive he looses time to play.

I think of it as stemming from a few things.

First, when a child experiences heightened sensory input, as many AS kids do, it leaves them in a constant state of low agitation. Think of yourself sitting at a busy intersection all day, trying to conduct conversations and get things done, despite the noise and bustle. What would your mood be like? How would you react to even simple requests? I think this is a bit of what life can be like for our kids.

Second, think of what you expect from a younger child, in terms of behavior and reaction. Toddlers, for example, bite and push when confused and frustrated because they just aren't developmentally ready to process more, and haven't had time to integrate the lessons we're trying to teach them. Then remember that in many areas your child is developmentally delayed, and his behavior reflects that. It is a patch work, and that makes it confusing - he may seem so advanced in other ways - but there are real delays there.

Third, remember that when you have to try twice as hard at so many things, a certain level of frustration sets in, and underlies everything you have to do. Imagine you've just been asked to push a big rock up the hill, and it rolled back on you three times. And now someone wants something else from you. It is all going to just feel hard, and that affects how you react as well.

I've found if I approach my son with these assumptions, everything just goes better.

Thank you for this thread. My dd has aggressive outbursts. I can see how each of those factors comes into play, and can avoid some of them. But when they happen, it's another matter. If I think of them as meltdowns (she doesn't really have full meltdowns much any more) it makes them easier for me to accept; I speak calmly and encourage her to go into her room so we can both calm down. At other times I think that she should not be allowed to behave that way towards us and then I can't figure out how to stop it. I'm working on finding better "teachable moments," but when things are going well I hate to ruin it by bringing up past behaviour.

So the next question is, what do you about these outbursts?
J.