Parents, do not berate or judge them for their life choices

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Dear Parents,

There is a HUGE difference between talking to your children giving them advice - and picking your children apart (at ANY age).

Do not do the latter.

Yes, of course you love your children. Of course you want the best for your children, but if some of your advice includes your very negative opinions about your child's life choices with your suggestions, you may not change their mind and you may in fact turn your children against you.

I'm sure there's a delicate balance in-between.

Do your best to keep in mind that people's life choices are very personal, and when attacked and criticized, you are essentially attacking and criticizing that person or child's entire being.



Thank you for reading.

Goodwitchy, that is totally true. I hope you arent stinging from some parental hurts.

I would say the same to the kids. I see kids tear apart and criticize their parents and seem to think that's fine.

I think the bottom line is, treat those close to you how they wish to be treated. For aspies, this is one of those unsaid rules....how you treat someone is typically giving them the indication of how you wish to be treated.

What type of advice are your parents giving you?

This morning, I advised my husband that he needs to get back on meds for bipolar and anxiety. He thought I was trying to control him. My thought is that his ability to be an effective parent and husband is impacted, so his mental health is my business.

However, I have a busybody mother myself who is always giving out unwanted advice of questionable merit about career and child-rearing issues. I can no longer discuss any problems that I have with her anymore, since nowadays, at 40 years old, I'm capable of making my own decisions and mainly want to talk about issues with a parent in order to feel better.

Yeah there is a reason I usually don't talk to my mom too much about my life.

Thank you Kailuamom, LtlPinkCoupe and Sweetleaf.

That kind of thing can also backfire, in my case hilariously.

<----- I Was not allowed to have or play with toy guns as a child. Now I'm a professional gunsmith. My mom got over it.