Music Lessons

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Anyone here have any experience of music lessons for your kids? My daughter is waiting to be assessed for autism and traits of Aspergers and mild ADHD. She has just turned 6 and she seems really interested in wanting to play music. She has an electronic keyboard and a guitar, but neither her Daddy nor I can play anything properly. I had read that learning to play an instrument can help with concentration in all areas, so that was another reason why I'm interested. Unfortunately music lessons at school aren't offered until P4 (she's in P2), so I'm looking at private tuition - probably guitar. Would lessons be a good idea or might I be wasting money at this age?

My DS was very interested in learning the piano, and after hearing about it for a year we bought a good keyboard and got him one-on-one piano lessons with a young, non-traditional instructor. After about 6 months of that and seeing he was still interested, we bought an electric piano for him. He started at age 9 and will be turning 11 in a couple of weeks. He seems to really like it. We have had to take a couple of breaks on lessons, but he always goes back to it. He practices 20 minutes every day. Some notes on this. Although we wanted him to learn to read music, it has been difficult as he seems to get muscle memory for the music and ignore the paper after he learns it. This makes it more difficult to apply what he was supposed to learn in one song to a new song. He likes to play the same tunes he has learned over and over and over, so we have made a rule to practice the new material 10 to 15 minutes (he sets the timer for fifteen minutes and practices until the finish of a song is between 10 and 15 minutes. If we set a specific time, he would stop and not finish the song) and then he can play learned/favorite songs or play around with sounds the last part of his practice. This has helped keep him interested and encouraged him to "write" his own songs, which the teacher helped him change into notes on paper. The teacher is really good at combining fun short bits from video games, cartoons et cetera with the more traditional songs. Just like any child, we have some complaints about practicing daily and some expression of wanting to quit. (I would never make him continue if he did not get pleasure and enjoyment from it). He has a hard time with the rhythm and beat and hates to play with the metronome. We have found it easier for him to hear how it is supposed to sound by looking up videos of it being played on the piano on youtube. He has had a couple of meltdowns when the music was challenging or he forgot how the teacher said to play a part. We had to provide encouragement throughout to keep him going, but he is very proud and loves to show off his playing ability. It also seems to provide a focus and to calm him.

Thanks for that.

It's good to hear that your son is proud of what he has achieved and likes to show off his skills. I think my daughter would love to impress others, so maybe showing her videos of other doing just that will encourage her. I'll also need to get some recommendations for teachers.

I am a little apprehensive as I know what she can be like when I'm trying to show her something new. We were playing a game last night (a bit like a combination of Scrabble and Boggle) and I was trying to show her how to create words. She just wanted to do it her way, even though it meant it was impossible to create words (putting c and d together at the end). Often, telling her that you must do it this way goes in one ear and out the other. Sometimes, that works in her favour, but if she's learning basic music skills, she'll need to do it the right way, first, I think.

Thanks again.

My daughter asked for a violin when she was 3. I finally bought her one for her 6th birthday. Best thing I could have done for her. Her talent and perfectionism were sometimes obstacles because she would judge herself very harshly and have meltdowns. But it was still the best thing I could have done for her. Unfortunately we're taking a break from lessons because of finances.

Please consider that people on the autistic spectrum tend to have a different way of learning. This is especially true for learning music, so traditional music lessons might backfire (or at least not show as much progress as one would expect). As an example, I am proficient in about half a dozen instruments, but I still can't read a single note. (Not while playing, that is). I use the sheet music as a cue to see the pattern of the piece, and when I can hear a tune in my head, I can usually learn to play it within days, depending on difficulty.

But yes, definitely encourage the music! As far as I can tell, it seems to be an instinctive talent for us.

While I think you'll get an amplified effect for many of the pros and cons to music lessons because of the gifts and burdens aspect of ASD, I think that overall the decision and issues will be the same as for other children. Allowing your child to follow their interests is a wonderful thing and music, in particular, can have all sorts of axillary benefits. Will keeping her on track and consistent get difficult at times? Yes, that is true for all music students, and those phases are likely to be worse because of the ASD. But none of that will mean it isn't worth pursuing and continuing.

My son never showed more than a passing interest in music and, so, we never pursued it. I actually wish I had nudged just a little more with it, but what is done is done, and it is pretty clear he wouldn't have had any particular gift with it. But, I've heard of many other ASD children who have taken to music extremely well, and have shown a real gift for it.

I think it is worth pursuing and wish you and your daughter the best with it!

My NT son plays keyboard through Music for Young Children. It is a great program for parents who don't know music because you go to the class and learn it with the child. There are other programs very similar to the Music for Young Children. My son started in kindergarten and they really made it so a younger child can have success playing. I know with my daughter who has autism if she is not interested it is not worth doing. She is only a little interested so we just don't do it with her. The curriculum is would be too much for her with a casual interest.

both my kids have taken piano and we have had several teachers due to moving/ scheduling....

group lessons went terrible... too much input between focusing on blackboard, book, and piano, not to mention what every other kid in the class is doing or if a bird is flying by...

individual lessons are much better (same teacher as group lesson, BTW).... him, teacher sitting right next to him, no place to look except between him and teacher... he still needs more frequent breaks, and sometimes we cut lesson short because it is all he can take...

his teacher is very flexible and open to teaching him in a variety of ways... the most successful so far being to assign a color to each note on the music sheet so that patterns are seen easily and then boxing out different patterns in different colors for each music piece and then concentrating on learning each box separately... none of our other teachers have done this, and it seems to taken the tedious, mysterious part out of trying to read every single note on the fly while playing and keeping time while still learning to read music and not rely on ear or memory...

most important thing is to find a good fit with the teacher... all 5 teachers we have had have been completely different in their approach, expectations, personality, books/ methods they use...there is no way some of these teachers would have tolerated him (vs his brother)... look for someone who teaches very young kids, (possibly ask a kindermusic or suzuki method teacher to recommend a piano teacher if you can't find someone)...

my oldest had to wait until he turned 8 to do guitar... it is hard for little fingers to be able to reach all the strings and be able to hold them down... but since he had piano since he was 5 is picking it up quickly

Thanks everybody for your input. This evening, I found a place that does parent and child lessons, but I'm not sure what age they take kids from. So, I'll contact them tomorrow to ask.

Kcal,

I mentioned to my daughter that the teacher might come to the house and she said, 'One to one lessons?' with a big smile. She's really up for it, so long as there aren't any other kids around, to distract her.

And good advice about finger length. But, my daughter is very tall for her age (appears more like 8 or 9) and also has particularly long fingers and strong hands. Is that the only reason that guitar lessons don't normally start until 8yrs? I don't think this should be too much of a problem for her, but I will make sure we get a test run before committing to lessons. I have really small hands (not much bigger than hers) and short fingers. I can't even begin to get my fingers into position to do any chords. She's managing much better than me. If we go with the parent and child lessons, they will have to be with Daddy.

My DS has always been obesessed with music, he started piano lessons at 4. He has an amazing teacher who has known my son since he was 1 1/2.

Anyhow, my son is now 6 and can play, read music, etc...he loves to compose, and loves to play classical music.

It is possible, with a gentle and understanding teacher, practice at home, and effort on the kids part. I have to say the beginning few months were not his fav. He couldnt play any songs that he liked. Now that he got to the point that he can read music and play more complex stuff, he loves to learn songs that he is interested in, and it motivates him to practice too!

For playing around, there are TONS of lessons on youtube. My DS gets the ipad or laptop out and will learn a new song. What's fun about this is that they aren't really boring, proper lessons but more like a friend showing you a few things. To have both I think is perfect.