My 6 year old has been dianosed with "Mild Aspergers&am

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Hi There, I am a Mum to two gorgeous boys, 6 and 4.

We live in New Zealand and were recently referred to a developmental peadiatrician in Auckland as my 6 year old becomes anxious when faced with SOME loud noises ie fire alarms, a rock band playing - trumpets things like that. I personally thought he had a vestibular disorder (I have menieres disease) or maybe an APD (he also fails hearing tests)

He is social, very friendly - has great eye contact and extremely advanced with language and reading. His gross motor skills are a little behind and maths and handwriting are all age appropriate. He has specific interests such as computers and lego but enjoys pretty much everything. I was surprised by the Aspergers diagnosis, but I'm not afraid of it and I want to do the best for my son. I am wondering, where do you go from here? The peadiatrician suggested going along to the Rainbow room to help him socially, has anyone ever had sessions there? How did you approach it with your child's teacher? Is it usual to get a second opinion from another doctor?

Lots of questions I know but any tips would be appreciated.... thanks

Wellcome here.....

I don't have much time to respond now....need to get kids ready for school.

We also got the diagnosis only few months ago.....At first I didn't really agree with AS, but then I started reading ALOT! And as my knowledge regarding AS expanded, the more I could identify the symptoms in my son.....it's like looking at your life from a different angle!

I will pop in a bit later again!

When my son was handed his diagnosis, I was told to read, read, read and read. The psych felt that was the one factor he had seen make the biggest difference.

This forum is a great place to do some of that reading, and we have a long book list stickied up above. I'm partial to a book written for parents by one of our AS members, free for download at ADDStuff.com

Welcome!

I agree with reading!

One of the best things you can do for your child is to understand them! Read as much as you can and become more familiar with what his world is like. It will be much easier for you to connect an be patient as you guide him in life.

Hi everyone, thanks for your kind replies when you all must have very busy lives!

Funnily enough about 2 years ago I purchased a book on a sale rack at Borders called "Parenting a child with Aspergers", not sure why I did it, I had a feeling 'something might be up' when he was little but I put it to the back of my mind due to how chatty and good with words and reading he was... I obviously need to get myself more educated on all the different individual traits he may have in order to help him better. I will look through the book list here and relax and read. thanks!

hi, I'm in New Zealand too and we have a 7 year old who was diagnosed with mild aspergers last year when she was six. If your child does have aspergers it sounds very mild. Our daughter has terrible trouble writing, although she has been diagnosed with dyspraxia as well. She also has tons of sensory issues and although she is very social and wants to play with lots of kids she gets worn out by social interaction quickly. Her reading levels are age appropriate but she has no concept of maths at all. Have you had any dealings with autism new zealand? I am planning to go to their office this week and start to go along to any groups they may have to meet other parents, I am sick of feeling like the odd parent out.

Hi, another kiwi here! We're in Dunedin. My 3.75yr old boy is HFA (although he seems more Aspie in lots of ways but with a bit of a speech delay). We don't have any Rainbow room here. We get 45 minutes of speech therapy and occupational therapy fortnightly (ie although the therapists are good it's not enough to be a hell of a lot of help) at our local child development unit. And so far that's it - although we are spending our Child Disability Allowance on private speech therapy too. You should check out AutismNZ, I've found them really helpful for information on local services, who can help with what etc. I'm planning on attending a meeting in a couple of weeks, it'll be good to meet some other parents. Oh, and there is an online information service (http://www.altogetherautism.org.nz/page/autism_76.php) that will send you heaps of information on any autism topic you need (I'm still working through all the stuff they sent me in June!).

Will your son get help at school?

I didn't initially feel the diagnosis of autism fit my son, but after lots of reading I realised that some of his issues were too subtle for me to spot, and others we had thought of as stubbornness or contrariness.

Kelbel and Kiwi, your kids sound a lot like my son. We don't have a formal diagnosis yet.
I had occasionally had suspicions about some of my sons quirks, but like you, I dismissed them because he was so verbal and bright.

Now that he is in kindergarten and having trouble--can't draw or write at all, and having social problems, I started looking up developmental stuff. Stumbled across info on Asperger's and said, 'oh, wow.'

Sounds like you have some good support, but I agree--reading makes up for any lacking support! And forums like these do too . . .

Lovely to hear from so many Kiwi's!

Dazednconfused, I haven't even told his teacher yet as we only recieved the 'report' a few days ago and I have made an appointment to see her, I don't think he will get any help at school - the report says 'No intervention' and refers us to the rainbow room, He has not referred us to receive any disability allowance, or I may just not know yet if we should apply for any allowances. Did you have to apply for this allowance once you got the diagnosis?

I really feel for my little guy, as he gets older he notices how other children treat him more, it's kind of like they leave him behind - he said some kids have called him weird, breaks my heart. Even his little bro (just turned 4) has ten times the street smarts and uses it against him more and more - I know I have to sit with him and explain that he thinks a bit differently to other children, I just haven't had any advice yet on what to say. He notices how other kids sometimes treat him, he feels very hurt - but can't seem to engage them on their level and win them back - I'm guessing its the Social stuff he will need the most help with.

IN saying that he invited 14 kids to his birthday party and they were hugging him and their parents told me how liked he was - I dunno - I also am a little Dazed and Confused He definately lacks social awareness (naive - easily led) and his computer interests and reading interests will overtake him if they are available - it's almost easier if there are no computers around - however he will make them out of paper if they aren't hee hee we have at least 100 paper computers, all the brands!

Thanks for the info on AutismNZ I will definately look that up and get the info from that link thanks!! !

Kiwi36 - I too feel like the odd parent out - I also feel like my parents in particular think it's a ridiculous diagnosis esp my 65 year old dad, he told me the best thing to do was break him in like you do a horse.... seriously..... I also have noticed the rolling eyes and exasperation of some of the teachers at his school (he was very upset not to win the x-country) I heard one of the teachers say he was just "indulged" - we are good parents who have tried really hard with him and this does hurt. I hope you do find a group in your area where you can find support.

Angelgarden, It was also at Kindy that I got my first (and only, till now) nudge from the teachers that something could be up, I did stumble across Aspergers but I put it out of my mind quite quickly, he had a terrible pen grip and the teachers mentioned it - I remember thinking, How good does a three year olds pen grip have to be? ha ha I don't know that it would have made a difference to have known earlier, I don't think he has missed out to much as yet but I guess I will never know.

Thanks for posting, bless you and your precious children x

Saw this blog post and it made me think of you


http://www.specialeducationadvisor.com/ ... th-autism/

I don't want to be negative, but I think it is important. The social gap between AS and NT kids at age 6 is narrow, as the children are moving from independent (side by side, unstructured play) to team (games with rules both spoken and unspoken requiring cooperation and thinking in others perspective. Often that gap is not so noticeable socially until around 8-10 years old, then it is glaring. For example, my son had loads of friends in kindergarten, played together, they loved him, nearly all his kindergarten class and his basketball team came to his kindergarten party. In third grade, we had a family party because there was only one little girl who would have came. (she is a sweet girl who is nice to everybody, a true angel). At 11, he gets along better with the 8 year old boys in the neighborhood and is a total outcast with the boys his age. I saw a graph of this once, but I have been unable to find it again.

Thanks for the link, I will have a good look at that.

Eureka, it's probably realistic rather than negative... I'm optimistic but often disheartened - he had a bad day today with some older boys baiting him and teasing him (at church of all places) - he got quite upset and was shocked and angry over it. I notice more often now that his peers have some kind of sixth sense that he is a bit different and either end up ignoring him or being a bit nasty - he made a friend on the first day back at school and after the first day she wont play with him anymore - it's so sad I feel like my own heart is ripped out.

He is super tall and I sometimes wonder if this doesn't help that he looks two years older than he is and there is such a huge contrast between how he looks and his level of social maturrity. I think it's going to be really important to get him some help with strategies around socialising before he gets much older. We have done nothing specific as yet, Has anyone gone about getting cognitive behaviour therapy for their young children with Aspergers? Does it help? (esp in New Zealand) Thanks again!

Sorry, got excited about the link and didn't see the last post - our experience with CBT was that it took a LOT of maturing before DS was able to manage a one-on-one therapy session. He's just now able to communicate enough (he's hyperverbal, has a huge vocabulary and talks a lot, but has real trouble discussing his feelings, what happened, and what to do about it) that he can use it to attack big problems he understands well. YMMV.

What did help, though, was having his speech assessed for pragmatics, and then pragmatic speech therapy and social skills classes at and after school, in a group setting with other kids (most on the spectrum.) We also watch a lot of TV that deals with social skills and social themes; he tends to script off of television, so that helps him prepare scripts that are appropriate.