teenagers these days..

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why cant teenagers value their life?
i caught my 17 y.o son hurting himself.. he was drunk when i caught him.. he kept on saying "i hate my life.. i hate my school".. i guess something was wrong at school.. so a day after i went to the principals office and asked about the status of my son and he said that my son has been a little of lately.. he has been hanging out with the wrong crowd.. i asked, what wrong crowed? then the principal explained that in every school you can avoid having bad kids.. those who drink and do drugs.. my son has been hanging out with them.. at that moment i wanted to pull him out of the school.. and thats what i did.. i cant imagine my son hanging out with those "bad kids"..
i want a secure school for my kid.. i safe place where he can learn.. help..

There's a parenting forum here that you might find very helpful.

(Personally I think it should go to the Parents Section of the forums, but yea).

It's very clear that there is something that is going on in his life and something that he is not loving about it, perhaps the fact that he has been hanging around with the wrong crowd that sounds like he is not very comfortable with and from what it does kinda sound like, it could be the case that he wants to fit in.

Personally I honor the fact that your doing a pretty good job at parenting, so I give you some credit for that but education is what is most important but also you have to think about your sons decisions, he is nearly 18 from what it sounds like and the best thing I can think of is lead him to the right direction in life.

Does your son have aspergers or somewhere on the spectrum?

Teens are full of insecurity especially if they don't really fit in anywhere. Perhaps you can get him in some clubs or low stress activities where he can have some fun and get a chance to work on his people skills.

I'm a 16 year old and i always think that when i look at my age members.. i just don't get it really
i would say that they drink and do bad things to put in place the things they can't have but need in life.

Teenagers these days...

...are so sexy.

It's depressing, and makes me feel old and perverted.

I hate to break it to ya OP but you may not be able to find a school where they aren't any bad kids like that unless you live near an Amish community or something. Lots of teens nowadays are into that stuff. Be happy he never got into any major trouble; lots of teens do at least one major stupid thing that gets em into mjor trouble

Lots of teens go through a period of questioning their place or value in life, but to go to the point of hurting oneself, or engaging with others who notoriously cause harm (drinking, drugs, crime, etc), is a different story.

I think he needs to be spoken with by a really good therapist, but of course that's sometimes not so easy. He might have all kinds of issues he has no idea how to identify himself, let alone explain to you or others. It could be anything from general poor self esteem, to some kind of peer pressure (involvement with mentally strong-willed kids who are pulling him away toward bad stuff, and he feels their support, and is confused) to maybe even something to do with sexuality, or goodness knows.

By noticing and not denying that there is a potential problem, you've taken the first and maybe hardest step as a parent!! !!

Charles

My kid was like that too. I did everything I could possibly do to help (with little knowledge at that time), so my son now is in prison. It all started in junior high, i thought counseling and therapy was enough. But no! At that time I thought that immersing his self in something that will give him the sense value of responsibility and discipline would solve my problem. I feel guilty that i wasn't able to do that. My friends kept on saying that i should send him to a Teen Boot Camp, but i didnt even consider it as a "real solution". And now i hear stories that they send their child there and had great impact on their lives. I wish i could turn back the time. We as parents should always be open to possible remedies to our problem, nothing wrong with trying right

moved from Random Discussion to Parenting.

There is no simple answer. It depends on the child and what has gotten him to the point he is at.

But one thing I would NOT consider with a child that is self-harming: boarding or military school. I just think that will knock his mental state down further and increase the spiral.

What I would want to look at is what has led to what. It is possible that these kids led to him consider new negatives, but it is also very possible that he was drawn to them because they share, with him, sense of disconnect to life. That these are the kids hurting inside in a way he can relate to, and vice-a-versa.

You need professional intervention, first and foremost. You may have to try a few different ones, because fit will be key to having it be effective.

This is not normal teen behavior. It is a signal that something is wrong.

I don't think BetsyBop is coming back to view this thread. According to the information, she logged on once on September 1st to make this post, and then logged off and hasn't been back since. I am not sure she is going to get any messages left here.

right.. but lets just keep this thread incase he comes back though..

Teenagers these days are stir-crazy. The law requires them to be children and their education proceeds so slowly that they cannot be useful members of society, but biologically and evolutionally they should be adults even though they've been deprived of the skills, training, and rights necessary.

Ugh, I hope she does come back.

It's so horrible and difficult to deal with this kind of stuff - I hope she knows she's not alone; many parents, including myself, have gone through something similar.

I'd agree that professional help, from someone who understands AS (even if the child doesn't have it,) is the first step. Hanging out with a "bad crowd" is one thing, but self-harm is quite another. I'd also ask the school social worker to explain exactly what the principal meant by "off" as it sounds like there is something specific they are aware of that would be helpful for you to know.