Meds questions

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DD is 9 and we've been trying to go non meds so far, but I feel we're approaching a wall. We are both constantly frustrated with each other and I feel like I'm losing it. Her anxiety is getting worse. Last night, she came out after I put her to bed and told me she had a lump in her throat...sort of hyperventilating, but not terribly. Not sure if it was a panic attack. I was trying to let her sleep with her sister (because she feels like she's not included because I've always told them they couldn't sleep together, but the other girls get the opportunity sometimes). It didn't work out and they started arguing, so I separated them. Then later on, she came out with that issue. She does take melatonin and it helps her get to sleep, but she has been waking up in the middle of the night, freaked out, up for hours sometimes.

She's getting so upset about anything lately, constantly yelling at me...and I probably have a tinge of it myself and don't always react with a cool head, which I know she really needs from me.

So, our ped said she would put her on a low dose of klonopin (or clonodine, can't remember which one). But, other than that, she's not super comfortable putting her on meds. Unfortunately, dh is changing jobs, going to lower pay, so we can't afford to seek that help right now. He'll be getting his raise in April and we should be good then. SO....what are you experiences with meds? I have a friend whose dd is the same age as my dd and they both are aspies. She is taking Concerta. Her vocal/noise issues are gone when she takes her meds. I would LOVE to have that...the noises are what drive me berserk. DD has no ability to speak quietly, makes noise constantly, etc. We really need help with impulsiveness and anxiety issues. So, give me your experiences with meds. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope.

So sorry - hugs -

We had a very rough time between 9-10 years old, and were *almost* at the point of trying meds ourselves. While I think meds are important in many situations, especially involving anxious and impulsive kids who might self-harm or become violent, I have to say I am glad we didn't. My own personal rubric for seeking meds: can you keep your child AND your family safe.

That being said, just a bit before we started sliding into oblivion, we had scheduled a private diagnostic appointment with a developmental pediatrician, and right when things peaked we got our ADOS and some really good answers. We were able to start a social skills class right away, they uncovered a pragmatic speech deficit, and we were able to give the school some specific direction on what to do. Without all of that, we would certainly have needed meds, but with it - we were able to help my son understand there was light at the end of the tunnel and his anxiety was greatly reduced.

Some things I learned that may be important to you, meds or no meds: Between 8 and 11 years of age (mostly at age 9,) typically developing kids make a huge leap forwards in communication. Kids with a social communication deficit just don't.

The practical upshot of this for us was that DS went from being a relatively popular (if a bit bossy) kid who was often viewed as a leader (since his AS expressed itself by having him direct everyone else's play) to a PITA, holier-than-thou, know-it-all, bossy, mean, weird freak. HE hadn't changed: the other kids had, and since they didn't understand what had happened and believed his actions were purposefully hurtful, they proceeded to "punish" him on a regular basis, physically, socially, and emotionally. You can imagine how confusing and upsetting this was for our son, who had done absolutely nothing different from the previous year, and didn't understand why all the rules had changed.

DS responded to all this stuff by rigidly holding his ground at school, and stuffing all of his fear, frustration, anger and hurt as far away from the surface as he possibly could. When he got home, out it would all come, all over all of us. He'd lose it. I'd lose it. My husband would lose it. He'd lose it again. etc. etc.

Flash forward to this year: DS disclosed to his classmates last year that he was on the spectrum, and they immediately stopped the bullying and started cutting him some slack. He has managed to get several friends back, although most of the boys he was friends with are now into sports, and I don't think he ever will be. We have systems in place to help him deal with frustration, and they're working. We are better able to manage our own tempers now. In other words, things are much, much better.

In short, as I don't seem to be able to write anything that's not an epistle today:
Did we do meds? No. Am I glad? Yes.

Would I do them if our circumstances hadn't been exactly what they were? In a heartbeat ; I don't think we could have managed without the interventions we got.

I hope some posters who went the other way weigh in here; I think their perspective is really valuable.

My 10-yr-old was only diagnosed last week. Before that, he was misdiagnosed with Bipolar Disorder so he was started on meds when he was 8 due to violent behavior and daily meltdowns. Since the meds were prescribed for Bipolar, I don't know how much of this applies but I've been told that there is a lot of overlap with meds that are used for AS.

They started him on Abilify which seemed to help for a month or two. He took longer to get to the boiling point and, as a result, was able to be redirected before he got to that point. Unfortunately he developed a tolerance for it fairly quickly and gained approximately 25 pounds in just a few months. After they doubled the dosage with no results, he was switched to depakote (500 mg) and imipramine (75 mg) for a "bed-wetting" issue that cropped up while he was on Abilify.

*Side note: I'm now convinced that the loss of bladder control (it happened during the day as well) was a side effect of the Abilify because it started when they upped his dosage and since he's been off of it has not had any more issues.*

The depakote worked for approximately a year and he's still on that one. He was recently tried on 1 mg of risperidone (sp?) but that caused his self-harming inclinations to resurface and he began talking about killing himself so I took him off that & the imipramine a few weeks ago. Since then he has been back to his old self; still quite frustrating but generally in a decent mood and not considering hurting himself.

All this being said, I am in the process of looking for a new individual to handle his meds because, at our last visit, the woman could not keep any of his medications straight, even while looking at her records, and tried to convince me to up his dosage of risperidone instead of taking him off of it.

I'm conflicted on the issue of meds. While I hate the idea of him taking them, I consider them necessary in his case due to the severe behavioral issues. I think the important thing is just to do the research (wish I had done that to begin with) and ensure the person prescribing the medications is competent and knows your child well enough to know what might and might not work.