Is looking for support more stressful than not!

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I am so stressed out at the moment and I really believe its from asking for support! I feel at this stage it just adds to an already stressful life. I have spent most of last school year in meetings and half of this year and to be honest it has not been helpful.

Or else my expectations are far to high or I am just misunderstanding what support means!

When my family first started having meeting after meeting, it was really frustrating. It took a long while to feel somewhat confident that I could hold my own when dealing with the school, doctors et al.

All that I could suggest is to go easy on yourself. You're doing the best you can under-- what for most parents-- is a very tiring process. I've actually found the wrongplanet forums to be one of the best sources for support and ideas.

Good luck!

i know what you mean, i dont want any support at all from anyone.
it seems it more my parents who want it more then me.

You have been fighting the good fight, do not doubt yourself on that! Is there anyone at all who could help you advocate for your kids?

Do you mean support for your child or support for yourself as you go through all this?

I definitely find the whole process of keeping in touch with the teacher, IEP meetings, doctor's appointments, researching therapies, and getting DS to private speech/OT appts very stressful. I've had a few weeks off because DS has a month-long winter break, and it has really highlighted for me just how stressful it has been.

Over the last year since DS was diagnosed, I've tried to find support groups and to meet and talk with other parents of AS kids. I've even gone so far as to set up and advertise a monthly "coffee talk" meeting. I have had mixed results. The existing support groups are either too far away and meet at an inconvenient time, or have parents of primariily non-verbal children. The parents I've met individually are so busy with everything it's very hard to meet up or set up playdates. I've had people show up at every coffee talk, but almost never the same people twice, so I feel like I'm just starting from zero every time.

So yes, finding support is definitely its own source of stress!

I was talking about my son but also any support for him is a support for the family.

I think all of the "support" I received was a nightmare. People would basically listen to what I said and then ask us to do things or make my son do things that inevetibly made everything worse. Further, they never seem to provide success stories with their suggestions. So....yes, i agree that support has almost always been stressful and often harmful.

the support here has helped immeasurably, as I get to hear what works for who and why. I can then apply to my life how it will fit. Things are better now.

I have stopped all of the school support and am homeschooling. I am totally unwilling to torture my child or myself anymore.

It bears mentioning: many states in the US offer respite care for parents of children with autism. Since we've got lots of time to ourselves when DS is in school, and he does go on sleepovers on occasion, I haven't looked into it, but I know other parents who do use it, and it's been a lifesaver for them. Contact your local Department of Human Services and find out what they offer.

I've found that it feels like I fell in a hole since my son's diagnosis: before, we had no idea and were fighting all the time and things were awful - now, I know what to do, but it requires an ENORMOUS amount of vigilance and attention. I've given up most of my social life and a lot of my volunteer activities. It's hard, but I keep telling myself that it's temporary.

I'm now having to advocate for all three of my kids. For whatever reason, all my kids seem to be unable to just go to school and get along! They're very different, but each is having some kind of problem. We keep hearing from the school about the youngest and I get the impression they want us to do something, but when we offer help or make suggestions it's as if they think we're butting in! I'm actually here to see if anyone else is feeling crushed just by the effort of speaking to people who don't seem to want to talk. And I see that someone else is!

What sucks is that I'm pretty good at tuning out the world with a game or a book... unless I'm dealing with school issues, and then I can't seem to get away from it even when night comes and I finally get some quiet time. I just want to be able to take the kids to school and drop them off and pick them up like anyone else, nag them about their homework or help with it, look at their report cards and encourage them to do better if they need it. I don't expect straight As, I don't want to go to so many meetings (or even one).

I know this topic is a few weeks old but I just saw it and immediately thought, "Oh thank goodness, I'm not the only one!". My biggest issue is feeling like I'm starting from scratch every time we see someone new and that seems to happen a lot around here. Since we're on TennCare, our choices for care are somewhat limited and the turnover rate at the places we can go seems to be pretty high. Seems like every person I talk to just suggests the same things over and over again and nobody seems to get that those things just don't work with my son. It's like they have a standard template of suggestions and they apply it to every child.

We did finally get a therapist who isn't an intern and seems willing to think of new ideas and his behavioral intervention teacher is a wonderful, wonderful teacher who's very willing to work with both me and my son, but overall, I get very, very frustrated with the "cookie-cutter" approach most professionals seems to take. I know they're probably overworked as well but I just wish they'd realize that every child is unique so what worked for one may not work for another.