11 yo with broke leg - Rant Post

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Wow, how things regressed quickly...

My 11 yo son (PDD-NOS, Mood Disorder-NOS, SPD) broke his leg sledding about 2 weeks ago.

It's just been terrible. The worst was the first week. It has gotten a little better since. He has been horribly mean to everyone. I have done my best to explain to him that it is temporary and he can still do everything he used to except sports/gym, everything is just a little harder. It was over a week before he would even walk a few feet with his crutches alone and without screaming at me that he's going to fall (when he wasn't). He 'lies' and says he fell all the time when he didn't even come close to falling. So much as a touch on his cast (half cast and full leg immobilizer) sends him into a fit. He's crying all the time and being so mean to us.

Yesterday was the worst so far. All out screaming crying tantrum for 45 minutes. If his leg wasn't broken I know he'd have been tearing the house up. I am at my wits end with him. I am so miserable and so is he. I've done the talking, 'use your tools', taking stuff away, etc...we are just MISERABLE. His little brother is 3 now and has enough tantrums on his own, plus now when his older brother starts, it gets him going and I have an 11 yo and 3 yo screaming, crying and throwing tantrums at the same time....It is so stressful. I am missing a lot of work because I have to drop him off and pick him up at school now because he can't get on the bus. I tried taking him out and it was a public screaming session which led to half dozen people looking at me as if I am the worst parent in the world and making comments. Wow, I haven't experienced all this in quite a while.

The cost of the ER and doc visits made me so broke, scary broke, and my son is HOUNDING me, HARRASING me all the time about 'I want this game, I want that'. It is incessant. My mom bought him a game thing, he got it and cried. He couldn't find the CD for it (it was in the box, he didn't look). Tries to use the CD, takes too long, crying. Have to go to school, more crying because he wants to stay home and play w/ this new thing. Get home from school, the other shipment (other part or something) didn't come, crying - all out tantrum. The internet is up and down, rage, stomping, etc...harassing me that the internet problem is my fault, non-stop for days on end.

I can't handle this. I wish I had someone to help. I have to get up an hour early to get everything ready because he needs more help with stuff and I have to drive him. I go to bed really late because I have to take care of my 3 yo and as soon as he's in bed, my 11 yo starts with his demands. I've even refused to help him with stuff, that worked a little bit at least to get him more independent and doing stuff he can do. I am sooooo exhausted emotionally, physically, financially. Did I say emotionally??

Wow that makes my day look like cake, I am so sorry you are going through all this. How much longer does he have to be in the cast? Is there anyone at all who could give you a break? Maybe even just to take the 3 yo for a while and you could have some quiet time to yourself while 11 yo is occupied (with new game maybe)? Take care and try to hang in there. ((((hugs))))

OMG I am so sorry! THat sounds extremely difficult. I wish you had some help, I am sure I would be going crazy as well.

Glad that you can come here to vent!

Ugh, I am so, so sorry...I spent the day nursing my 11yo for what turned out to be just a skinned knee (he was certain he'd broken his leg: it's what happens when you have a binary response to pain. Fortunately I was prepared.) Nothing like what you're dealing with, but I could totally see the exact same thing happening to us: DS can't tell the difference between "lost my balance" and "fell down" on a good day, much less when something has happened to make his world different (and therefore, bad.)

I wish I could help you! I know you have no time - but have you tried checking to see if your state offers respite care for parents of kids on the spectrum? I hope you find some help; I know the money stuff is really hard, but what makes it hard is that it feels like it's all on you.

Know that at least I'm thinking of you and hoping for things to improve and for you to get what you need.

Sorry to hear about the broken leg and how stressful it has been! Times like these just suck. Sure, you can understand all you want why your son is acting out, but since you can't get rid of the reason he's acting out, you're stuck with dealing it, and it most definitely can drive one mad.

Deep breathe. Find some respite if you can. And don't be afraid to try off the wall things to help his mood. You never know what will do the trick.

I know how you feel, last year my daughter 13 (with autism and PDA) broke her arm (punching a boy at school no less) and it was an absolute nightmare!

She hates textures such as wetness so screamed hysterically having her arm plastered, but it did mean we skipped the queue in A&E. She had to have it re done every week/fortnight so it was awful going back in the hospital all the time and she would use her new hard weapon arm to hit me all the way to hospital, screaming out abuse and insults at me, and it was snowing so we had to walk through the snow which she doesnt like so she was angry about that too. Then I had to be mortified in the waiting room, and mortified again during xray and go through more upset with the re plastering, dont even mention the cutting off of the plaster!!

The hospital were quite good though and tried to be patient lol.

bathing was also a nightmare. and she would use her weapon arm to hit everyone all the time argh.

so I feel for you and know what your going through *hugs*

I had a broken leg in first grade, and what I remember most about it was that I hated not being able to bend it. I would NEED to bend it at times, just to bend it, not for using it, and couldn't. It was very frustrating to me. I would scream and cry and throw fits because of that. I remember my mother taking me to the ER in the middle of the night because I was screaming and hitting myself and scratching myself and hitting the cast. They thought it was too tight so they took it off and put on another one. I remember wanting to tell them that it's not too tight, I need to bend it, but I couldn't get the words. I can't explain that better. I knew I needed to bend it, but even in my head I didn't have the words "I need to bend it".

It was horrible. I was cranky and nothing pleased me. I would throw my toys then want a different toy and that didn't make me feel better so I'd throw it and want another one. I needed to bend my leg, but couldn't put it into thoughts or words even, but I knew thats what it was. I was trying to find something else that would make me feel better since I couldn't bend my leg. Nothing worked.

Maybe he's feeling something similar?

I'm the aspie in the family by the way.

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Thanks all. Reading your responses made me feel better...I want so bad to be understanding towards him but he's just so dang mean!! !

The-Raven & momsparky, your posts made me laugh because I can relate to it....