the question lingers!!

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i have been trying to know how to increase social interaction for my three years old daughter ,if such a thing is important at that age, through some readings about RDI intervention.it went on and on with very abstract and common assertions,as well as strange assetions.some of them claim that it is not enough to teach small children language,but to teach them the true meaning of the word ,that is beyond its linguistic meaning.otherwise the future is very bad for the child .????? i dont understand.

I don't understand too. Usually autistic children can speak but we have to teach them how to use language functionally. That's my son case, I'm teaching him why and when use words.

I have concerns whenever someone suggests a parent must do A or the future will be very bad for a child.

There are so many valid roads, and putting pressure and panic on a parent tends to interfere with what I believe is the most important part of family life, regardless of the neurology of the child: enjoying time together with everyone just being who they are naturally.

A three year old is too young to understand or benefit from any formal "socialization" programs. All they need is natural contact with others at that age. That means taking him/her with you to places that you normally go, when it is appropriate to take a small child to such places.

If a kid is tired or sick, it is not appropriate to take them anywhere, except home or the doctor because they will be cranky and act up, making you and those around you unhappy, too.

It is also not appropriate to take a small child to a concert or fancy restaurant, etc., but do take the well rested child to the supermarket, and on errands, visits with friends, etc. However, it is best to keep the outings short, as small kids get tired quickly. If your little one takes readily to napping, longer visits with friends are possible, as the kid can nap during the visit, but it is not really possible for the child to sleep during errands, so once the kid gets sleepy or cranky, head for home. Play dates are okay, but again, unless it will be possible for the kids to nap there, the event should be short. Also, it should never run into the night hours. I have read of cases of people taking their kids to all night parties, and I don't mean sleep overs. These all night parties are more for the adults, than for the children that are brought along, and are not good for the kids. Keep it to daytime parties, play dates, and better still, informal get-togethers at parks, and other fun places.

Small kids aren't ready for really organized functions, yet. Informal get-togethers are better at that age. It gives them a chance to start learning to relate to other people without also having to learn the format of a formal event. Once kids are older, formal affairs are okay.

I know in my case, I never liked formal type events much. They were too organized, and rule bound. The adults kept telling everyone what to do and how to do it. It made me feel too fenced in--kind of caged, even. I preferred the flexibility of doing my own thing.

Don't stress about "socializing" your kid. She is too young yet for most of that. Also, remember, many of us on the spectrum are not social butterfly types. I am a hermit, myself, and that's fine with me, and my being a hermit has not caused the world, or my part of it to come to an end. Just teach your kid to behave herself, and give her room to BE herself.

Here are some tips to help. Keep processed sugar and caffeine to a minimum, and make sure your kid gets plenty of sleep. Too much processed sugar and caffeine, make kids get all wired up and cranky. Then it keeps them going until they get over tired, and then they get even more cranky, and they act up too much. That gets parents tired and cranky, too, and more likely to yell at the kids. So, limit the pastries and no soda at all. Soda has no nutritional value, and the carbon dioxide causes bone loss. The artificial sweeteners have unhealthy side effects, also, so no diet sodas, either. There is nothing wrong with real juice--no added sugar, milk, soy milk, rice milk, almond milk, and best of all, water.

Keep the kid rested and off the bad stuff, and teach her proper behavior, and just ignore the people with advice. Just use common sense. That's worth more than all the "advice" in the world.

Yeah...that's kinda extreme.


If you want some real-life advice on how to increase social interaction...let us know!

This was where RDI lost me. The dire prognoses for my son - who they never met, and who is absolutely no different from me, and I function pretty well having gotten zero support in my childhood - just made me think the whole thing was bunk.

That being said, I think there is good information there, but you have to sift through all the doom and gloom and threatening boom. I really liked how they characterize autism spectrum disorders as a central nervous system processing difference: that makes a lot of sense to me. I also liked how they talked about the lack of feedback you get from a child on the spectrum, and how it tends to negatively affect your parenting: that was a big one, because we had to re-think how our son's behavior communicates the difference between his wants and his needs.

I think some of what they say may be true with some kids, if you teach them scripts and stop there, they may well never stop using scripted responses to situations. What I think they're missing is that - at least my son, and many other kids on the spectrum - have a phenomenal capacity to learn scripts; if you provide enough information, they can turn it into communication. We've learned to offer DS lots and lots of positive media that uses realistic language kids use; it's amazing how closely he studies situations that are new to him, and how quickly he assimilates the script.

They are right: generalizing is something that's difficult for kids on the spectrum - but difficult does not mean impossible. I really, really disliked the scare tactics in this program.

What exactly are the issues?

Can she communicate and behave well enough to participate in a playdate? If not, I think that you have to start with these things.

If so, she may have an easier time if you can get one child on a similar developmental level over to your home every once and a while and have a parent facilitate interactions. You can meet parents of kids with similar issues at therapy, through your local Autism Society or other parent support group, or through your child's special education class. Also, some places (like Austin, where I live) actually have private social skills classes for young autistic children. You would have to go through your local Autism Society or do a net search to figure out what private social skills and autism classes, autism preschools, and special needs daycares are available.

thanks all, and SC 2010 , yes please, i want some real advice to reinforce social interaction for a very intelligent 3 years old girl,diagnosed a year ago as having some autistic features ,and started lately putting together 4 word sentences using the verb " i want " , but seems to ignore other kids in the playground, but when they approach her she joins them with dance songs " not looking into their eyes " but no floor play.

Its good to try to get them therapy and if they become social great, if they dont, its not the end of the world. Communication is important IF it is important to them. If you see that your child is having meltdowns due to frustration because they want a cookie and can not ask for one then you need to teach them a way to communicate. There are so many ways now then there used to be and they are affordable. An iTouch is the best route if you child can use PECS and responds well to them.....not too expensive and small enough to carry around. My daughter had the iPad, expensive and big but she loves it, she acts like she was born with it.

Playing with other kids, if that is what you are getting at, is not that important and next to impossible to learn. Im afraid that in the communication area the NT side had to go further than we do. Being social comes natural to a lot of NT's and is too stressful and difficult for us. Understanding is what we need to teach. Autistic children can learn that some things are not appropriate to say but I still have issues.....then again I did not have therapy. My daughter is happy to go to school and she has a few little girlfriends who think she is a toy and loves her and she doesnt mind. She has one little girl who she truly likes and I think that she may have a bit of autism herself so she gets Maddy so Maddy feels more comfortable with her....she will push all the other children away if her friend is there. You cant really explain to her that this is inappropriate because in her mind this is the way it is. My son has Aspergers and he is a little bit easier to reason with.