2yr old daughter diagnosed (High Functioning) Autism

Post Reply New Topic

My daughter just turned two and we got the HFA diagnosis last week after taking the ADOS test. Please bare with me I am still so new to understanding all of this. I will likely get things wrong in this post. I will be as brief as possible.

Since starting OT and Speech Therapy in late November when B23 did their initial evaluation, she has gone from a child who used only 4 words, did not point, could not do a three piece simple puzzle, could not do a shape sorter, did not show affection ( hugs & kisses also acted clearly uncomfortable with it, when hugged.) would not nap, avoided other children including her twin sister and rocked several times a day, hand flapped and other self-stimulatory repetitive behaviors and did not play with toys aside from looking at books.

Shortly after the B23 evaluation I devised a new nap strategy by putting her in a pack&play in a darkened room separate from her sister. She started napping again and everything began to change. She learned the entire alphabet ( and song ) in days, then started counting to 10, when I brought home a shapes puzzle with 10 different shapes, she learned them all in hours. Her vocabulary exploded, by late December she had over 200 words. Although she said many words and labeled everything, much of her speech was echolalia still and she did not have any expressive speech yet. In early January her therapy started ( 5 hrs a week.) She has speech and OT therapy. In her first session she learned "More" and quickly applied it correctly to anything she wanted more of. Then she learned "open", "again" "up" and "down" with in days. She began to point to things of interest, make choices between things. The echolalia has really dropped off and she is now speaking in 2-3 sentences that she has put together on her own. I find myself actually having a 2 way conversation with her with out realizing it. Her memory is astounding and she displays some hyperlexia, however she doesn't seem stuck on it. This might sound strange but I believe she see's letters and numbers where I do not and has an affection for some of them. Her therapists believe she is gifted or that these are splinter skills. She knows her colors now and is great at imitating. She also has strong imaginary play skills. I've seen her make her Fisher Price people talk to each other, dance, go to sleep ( complete with snoring noises.) She "feeds" me food and drink etc etc.

But by far one of the most dramatic changes though is how much more social and affectionate she has become. She constantly sits in my lap, hugs me and will run and greets me when I come home. She runs around with her sister, tries to tickle her belly, plays games with her, giggles and really seems to enjoy herself. She's a real charmer. It's like a light has gone on. That said there are still areas where she struggles. Her eye contact is still not "normal" and she has problems with eye tracking and seems to use her peripheral vison a lot. Her gaze just sometimes goes right through you. Other times she doesn't seem to have a problem at all with eye contact. And although she runs to hug me like 20 times a day, there is still a bit of a stiffness about it. She struggles with who people are. She seems to know herself in a mirror but she calls her sister by her own name, she knows who Daddy is but she sometimes points to herself when I ask where mommy is. She does shut down when there is too much happening at once, like a lot of people and noise in a room and that is when you will see the repetitive behaviors appear now.

I feel as though her sensory processing problems are hindering her ability to feel more comfortable socially and I wonder if I can help her there. Since so much of the way we experience the world is through sight, I am concerned her vison problems may also be making things that much harder for her too.

I'm not looking to change who she is and make her some NT miss popularity, but I would like to lesson her anxiety, empower her and provide her with opportunities to succeed on her own in life. I want more than anything for her to love and understand what makes her different while also instilling her with the right skills and confidence to feel as comfortable as possible in this crazy world and to perhaps find comfort and joy in the friendships of others. Maybe I'm wanting too much, but I'll be satisfied too if she just grows up feeling loved and happy.

I'm curious can Autistic or Aspergers individuals ever feel comfortable showing affection. Can they be comfortable with eye contact? Is this a sensory thing or something more? Am I being unrealistic. Has anyone ever tried vision therapy? Was it helpful? Will ABA therapy just program her to do something she will never connect emotionally to? I want to do right by this child.

Hi, Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I am not a parent. I am an individual who lives life on the spectrum, and I try to be a pretty good guy.

I like affection and people just fine, only in somewhat smaller doses. Alone time is very important to me, in part it allows me to emotionally process things. Stimming can be part of this, and I'd really encourage you to look at stimming as a time and place kind of thing.

At a local university, I've seen two or three demonstrations of ABA and was not impressed. It seems rigid and dogmatic, does not seem like it would be particularly helpful to higher-functioning kids nor to lower-functioning kids for that matter.
(Will include link to Temple Grandin video where she briefly mentions similar methods. I look it as one part of a more seasoned teacher's repertoire.)

For me, it helps to think in terms of engagement, not conformity.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgEAhMEgGOQ[/youtube]

:37 speech therapists and older experienced teachers.

:47 Nanny played turn-taking games with Temple and her sister.

1:09 teacher taking hold of chin, “come on now, pay attention,” as an example of gentle insistence, which can either help to pull child out or cause sensory overload.

1:25 “One of the biggest most neglected areas is the sensory problems . . . “

2:50 auditory threshold vs. auditory detail.

3:10 speech teacher . . . used a lot of ABA type of things

3:18 She advocates 20 hours a week with really great teacher.

4:21 People sometimes watch mouth to supplement auditory detail.

5:30 visual processing problems (eye exams may be normal).

10:27 Something like Irlen lenses or pale colored glasses may help only 2 out of 20 kids. But those 2 people, it really helps.

14:20 She wasn’t allowed to stim at the table. She was allowed to stim during rest period after lunch.

15:58 building on areas of strength.

.
.
.

[And continues. The whole video is more than an hour long!]

and some discussion here: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt188051.html

===========================

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxJCBN7NTDQ[/youtube]

Eight-year-old Anthony is interviewed by his mother about stimming. A video from two and a half years ago.

AardvarkGoodSwimmer thank you!
Extremely helpful.

To my knowledge, vision therapy is unproven.

I think that failure to meet gaze is connected with social anxiety and social skills. A child with social anxiety (common in kids on the spectrum) will have trouble with meeting the gaze of others and will have to learn to do this despite the natural tendency to avert the gaze. It can also be a way of shutting out someone who makes one uncomfortable.

I can have trouble with this myself, and sometimes I have to consciously think about looking at someone in the eyes. (I have mild AS and a history of social anxiety).

My older son, who also has a history of social anxiety, has no trouble meeting my gaze or the gaze of his brother; however, he has trouble making eye contact with most other people.

My younger son has some gaze issues also; he meets my gaze just find, but he doesn't want to look at his ABA therapist.

Basically, you just have to keep reminding the child to meet your gaze and the gaze of others, I think.

I have a ton of resources on my free website, www.freevideosforautistickids.com, which is currently being upgraded.

You might check out the following in particular:

http://www.freevideosforautistickids.co ... ideos.html (The alphabet videos are the best, I think. Hundreds of alphabet videos which teach letters, vocabulary, and phonics. One webpage for each letter of the alphabet). Also, I have a whole lot of resources for parents on the left sidebar of the website.

You're welcome!

My aspie son loves to show affection to his dad and me. He never really did show affection as an infant/toddler (after nursing, for example, he would push me away rather than enjoy a cuddle). It wasn't until he was about 4 or so that he became overly affectionate all the sudden. The affection is really on his own terms. He loves being hugged and "squished" (which I suspect fills a sensory need), and he loves to kiss and be kissed, but only on his terms (and not on his skin/lips). His eye contact is still pretty fleeting. He'll look at you if he's really into the conversation, but his eyes will drift away and then come back. I'm NT, and not very comfortable with eye contact, for the most part. It feels too intimate to me.

It sounds like your child has made some amazing progress with interventions. That's wonderful.

My child is also hyperlexic. He is very snuggly but he had a lot of what I thought was colic as a baby, and I was constantly hugging and holding him. We ended up co-sleeping because he was up every half hour or so, and it was the only way I could get any sleep. He was used to the body contact so it is familiar. It could be what he innately needed, too. There is really no way of knowing. He is very affectionate with us, and he will sit in a teacher's lap. He won't spontaneously hug people he does not know well, but that isn't a bad thing.

If your child is not that way, I know as a parent that it feels like rejection but it isn't. I felt that way about eye contact, which he hasn't really done with me until the last couple of years. I would say that the sensory input from eye contact was too much, and it just took him awhile to be comfortable enough with it and seek it from me. He's less comfortable with eye contact with people other than my husband and I, and that is OK.

It takes awhile for spectrum kids to integrate all that sensory input. It is one of those things, I think where you want to try gently and gradually over time. (both eye contact and actual physical contact) Your child may never be comfortable with too much, or may grow into it and seek it. If not, it isn't personal.

Your child is doing wonderfully, by the way! It bodes well.

I really appreciate the support and advice. There is still so much I have to learn about all of this. I am incredibly proud of her, I just think she's incredible.

I really appreciate the support and advice. There is still so much I have to learn about all of this. I am incredibly proud of her, I just think she's incredible.

Sounds like you're doing a good job. You got onto this early and can make a real difference now. =)

I'm HFA myself, and even at age 25 I can relate to your child. Periods of rushed learning and periods of near-non-development have alternated in my own life, and comfort and response in social situations varies a lot like hers. Here's how that works for me:

The breaking of eye contact and social irresponsiveness are a coping mechanism for stress. To me, eye contact and intimacy aren't inherently stressful, but when a my social experience becomes stressful for other reasons automatically I retreat into a non-responsive 'bubble' to shut social stimuli out. This bubble constitutes all the social drawbacks of autism: the lack of empathy, enjoyment of social contact and conversational intuitions, the inability to learn from, or in the presence of, other people - they're all symptoms of this same thing. Retreating into or coming out of the bubble can spiral over the course of days, months, even years, or it can noticeably change over the course of hours during particularly intense events. On a neurological level, this has everything to do with the neurotransmitter oxytocin, which is the messenger for bonding, liking people and taking comfort and pleasure in your interactions with them; events and drugs that cause its release will steer the spiral up on the long term and can even eliminate the (on average still pronounced) social drawbacks of my condition entirely for a time, while events that opposite it (harsh interactions, social disappointments and stress) do the opposite. The tricky part with this is that most oxytocinergic interactions are motivated by present oxytocin levels: the more retreated you are, the less positive social stimuli affect you, the less you 'know how' to create social successes, and the less grip you'll consequently have with which to climb back up.

Many autistic people do find intimacy and eye contact inherently stressful, while some have even less trouble with it than I do. Theory is that during formative years, time an autistic child spends in its 'bubble' of disconnection and repetition is time during which development of the oxytocinergic system grinds to a halt, while positive social experiences fuel its healthy growth. After formative years, this balance is what an autistic person has to work with qua social experience/handicap - there is still room for growth (or further retreating), but nothing as profound as what your child is going through presently.

So what you can do with that, is do everything you can to avoid situations that cause her to retreat into that bubble. While she's stressed out, she can only unlearn social skills; growing up with just a few trusted people in her environment should slowly give her the ability to deal with crowds in her own time. Insofar as her eye tracking oddities are an effect of her autism (and they can be), don't try to treat them separately - just make her comfortable, and she should adjust her self. When she appears to enjoy hugging, touching and being talked to, do these things every chance you get - these are the moments that benefit her most. Good sleeping and any needed alone time will replenish her reserves. And (at risk stating the obvious), be nice to her; Positive Parenting approaches should help a lot.

You'll have to observe yourself what causes her to go into and come out of her bubble. You did a great job with that napping schedule change, I think. So long as she spends most of her childhood stress-free, engaging people, hugging her sister, all those good things, she should come out of it with few or none of the potential handicaps of autism (but all the advantages intact). Watch especially closely when you start trusting her care to daycares, schools and babysitters... both for the symptoms of the bubble (lack of eye contact, rocking and repetition, social non-interaction) and the symptoms of ordinary social stress, which in socially healthy autistic people will precede it.

That's everything I can think of right now. Good luck!

Its great that she is doing so well at only 2. My daughter was diagnosed severe but as soon as they started therapy, one week after diagnosis (she was about two months from her 3rd birthday), she started saying words. She was speaking in sentences at age 4 and at age 5 having back and forth conversations. She is nearly 7 now and she still struggles with communication and now that she is older people notice more that she is Autistic because little girls around 2 to 4 its ok if they run around flapping and singing and making silly noises or ignore questions or walk away from conversations but by Maddy's age it looks a bit odd to some people, at least Ive gotten more staring since she was about 5 or so.
She has a lot of sensory issues and a lot of problems with change ect. She likes repetitive videos and she tends to get obsessed with things for weeks on end. We makes progress in spurts which is very typical for Autism. It could be your daughter was sleep deprived and once she could sleep properly she had an explosion of learning. You will probably see many more of these types of spurts or explosions.

Just dont get frustrated if she seems to stall or seems even to go backward a bit....she will explode again, I promise . You can see my daughters videos on youtube under Aspiemom42 if you want. I started when she had just turned 5. All the other videos we have of her are on camcorder tapes but we are going to get them on digital format as well so we can show her transformation to show France how important Early Intervention is. You will notice that my daughter does a lot of verbal stimming and her favorite physical stimm is spinning. She can spin for hours.

Raza,
Your description was so incredibly helpful to me. Thank you! It's so important to me to understand what she might be going through and why she shuts down. Although I do understand that Autism can present in different ways and with different struggles in everyone, your description of why you retreat into your 'bubble' is the first time anyone has really broken it down for me.

I have noticed that after her OT sessions she almost completely comes out of her shell. I think the exercises ( which she loves!) help organize her nervous system and regulate sensory input better. So I make sure I work with her all the time. I do a lot of sensory work with her, play-dough is her absolute favorite and again I am astounded by her fine motor skills and attention level to the activity. I also try to get her used to things in a gentle and positive way. This is how I got her to hold her sister's hand which in the beginning she wasn't comfortable with and now she initiates it. We play games where we practice taking turns a lot.

I try to always respect her limits while also gently exposing her little by little to different things and situations making sure I comfort her and look for signs of shutting down. On a whole, she does quite well with transition. She hasn't melted down once ( yet.) but if she did I would calmly take her out of the situation so she could regroup. We are going to Florida next week and therefor will be travelling on a plane. She was amazing when we first went 8 months ago. I am praying her incredible memory will remember it and that she will not have too much anxiety but this will be interesting. I have made sure though she will have every comfort I can afford her, ear phones, a sippy to suck on to help her ears and soothe her, an ipad to watch her favorite show "Little Einsteins", her lamby and blankie. And she'll have mommy, right beside her to help her get through it. I think she's going to be ok, but I am ready and will be understanding if she is not.

I love her so much. I think she is fascinating and wonderful and I will take every opportunity to let her know that. Thanks again everyone for the incredible insight and advice. This mother appreciates it very much.

Your daughter sounds like she is learning a lot. She sounds much more communicative than I was at her age and much older. I did not have the benefit of the therapies though. Five hours a week sounds pretty good to me. Enough to make a big difference in learning communication skills, but not excessive to stress out the child.

I was watching some YouTube videos of autistic children, and it seems like they are all learning more communication skills earlier than those of us who did not have the help when we were young. I think that the therapies are a good idea as long as they are about teaching the child basic communication skills instead of making the child behave completely like an NT child. Later, in school, education should be adapted to the autistic child as well, but I don't think that we are that far along yet.