Problem at Middle School

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Today my son (7th grade, quiet, very few friends) came to me to let me know he had to report something to his principal. This morning, some other boy (a known trouble-maker) who neither speaks to my son nor associates with him in any way came over to his open locker while he was unpacking and shoved his gym bag in it and left. My son removed the bag and placed it on the floor. He locked his locker and went to class. At the end of the day, this boy returned asking for the bag. My son said he didn't know what happened to it. This boy called him a stupid s.o.b., then pushed him into the lockers and left. Now it's in the hands of the principal. Would anyone like to comment or share a similar experience and its outcome? The only thing I could imagine to be in that bag was drugs, alcohol, a weapon, or something stolen.
I really doubt it was a damned valentine.

I don't have any similar experiece to share but I wanted to say what a smart and brave son you have! Calm decisive action in the face of almost certain recriminations, pretty clear thinking for a 7th grader. I am glad to hear that the perpetrator did not take his agression any further.

Or, it could be garden variety bullying.

Now, the school could be proactive since they have 'zero tolerance' on drugs, weapons, etc, but that can also sometimes end up meaning high threshold since they then just pretend not to see.

Or the school may just plain drop the ball like they often do.

On the college and student discussion, I recommend tight, defensive boxing to a draw, straight up (with the proviso of not taking a bunch of blows to the head during training, even with headgear). Here, it's a little trickier because you're his parent and he wants you to think well of him. And even with someone a person's same size, even with training and practice, going to win some fights and lose some fights. Actually prefer a draw if possible, because you are not trying to embarrassing someone you're likely to see again.
"Tight, defensive boxing to a draw. One week."
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt134616.html

The point of boxing is that it gives a baseline of confidence and then you're hoping you don't have to use it. Hopefully, the zen of it all is if you're prepared, it's then less likely to happen.

Actually, it sounds like your son was pretty matter-of-fact about it. This clown tries to put something in the locker. Your son takes it out and puts it on the floor. Hopefully, this bully did not get the interaction he was expecting and will leave your son alone. Maybe, maybe not. Sometimes bullies get "stuck."

PS I AM NOT A PARENT. I am just someone who has lived life on the spectrum and I try and be a pretty good guy.

And I wish junior highs weren't such venues of bullying, but there are.

I'd think it was probably some other kids bag that the guy was trying to hide from the kid. It's good that your son didn't take crap off him.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

I'll join the others in congratulating your son; he did exactly the right thing.

However, you're right - you do have a situation on your hands that is difficult. Do you trust the principal? Are there other resources at the school to make sure this boy leaves your son alone - social worker, teacher, aide? Who knows why he tried to put the bag in your son's locker - could be any reason from relatively innocent to mischievous to criminal - but he does seem to think that your son would help him get away with whatever it was, and he's now aware that isn't the case.

Yeah, this sounds like textbook sociopathic behaviour, how the trouble kid is putting questionable items, perhaps stolen, in your son's locker, b/c he's seen as someone vulnerable who won't question or obstruct others' actions (but he did! ) and then he gets the blame pinned on him rather than the perpetrator. I take my hat off to him for handling the situation in a proper way. I'm just glad that he waited for the bully to leave before chucking the bag out, otherwise, the bully may well have forced him to put it back in his locker or else.

Wow. I am very impressed. I don't think I would have had that common sense. I do not even know what I would have done. I would doubt my son would do anything, other than go along with it, although he is young, yet.

If I had to guess, I would assume like others here, that either the school has frequent locker searches, or this kid's locker is searched frequently, and he had contraband he wanted to hide; Or that he was trying to frame your kid for something. Either way, I hope the school does a good job of protecting him, if he needs it.

My son tells me that there is a rumor going around that there were drugs in the bag. The bag ended up in the lost and found which is in the nurse's office. The nurse went through the bag to look for some sort of I.D. in order to return the bag and found the date rape drug!! !! !! !! !!
WEEEEELLLLL....isn't that special? Unfortunately, my older son is no longer a minor so he can't kick the livin' s**t out of that other boy. Otherwise he would. He was in the military and used to talk about situations like this all the time. It happens there a lot. He went to the school today to talk to my younger son's principal. He strongly requested that I stay the hell out of it - this is a man's territory. Rumor or not - he went!! Good Lord!! We feel safer now.

Wow, it's a lot cooler to be taught self-defense by an older brother than by your mom. So that opens up some definite possibilities.

I generally think there are two types of self-defense, one for very serious situations like if a stranger threatens you with a knife, and the other for school yard fight types of things. And I guess there's positive transfer whichever you learn first. Your younger son can still kick the living s**t out of some punk bully, just with solid boxing technique. Or if it ends a draw, that has some advantages, too.

And please don't take a bunch of blows to the head during training because even with boxing headgear, or a football helmet in football, all that stuff about post-concussion syndrome is still largely true.

Good for your older son!

Both of your kids handled this situation admirably!

It's good that your son stuck up for himself. I would have panicked ans done something stupid at that age.