custody issues for HFA/Aspie kid

Post Reply New Topic

I am stepmom to a bright, charming 10 yr old w Asperger's. He relationship with her mom has been very problematic, as mom has up until now, insisted that the kid is a spoiled brat who required punishment, rather than an autistic kid who needed therapy and some parent counseling. Mom has been rather cold and rejecting, especially as kid's behavior became more difficult. Kid begs to stay at our house, saying she isn't understood, is ignored or yelled at, and affection is very rare. Apparently this isn't enough to change custody. Anyone have any advice for us? Experiences that could help? Desperate. Child is v v anxious and depressed.

Until society changes to give kids rights, the kids have no say. Unless you can get the parent to sign the child away to you.

I've seen an adopted brother and sister - that where used as labor most of their lives/charged rent exactly at age 15. ($300.00 a month from what I heard.)...

Since you're not specifying where you are from, I assume you're in the US.

Here, child protective laws are now changing to always value the child over "blood ties".
A child's development is more important than who gave birth, in essence.
So you would possibly get custody here, if what you say could be documented/observed.

Hi, be a decent middle-of-the-road person. You don't need to be perfect, but you can be a real person, which is light-years from the moody and undependable home environment it sounds like she currently has.

And aspie kids tend not to respond well to punishment.

And I guess with legal assistance step-by-step play a good, solid, strategic game. And you might end up winning!

Thanks for the supportive feedback. My problem is that the kid has such a negative relationship with mom, but that's not against the law. She's not hitting (did a few times, hasn't in a long time,) has called names maybe twice, she just sort of rejects the kid and minimalizes her needs. I don't even get why she wouldn't rather just see the kid less regularly. Have any Asperger's people here had a rejecting relationship with one parent? How did you negotiate that?

[Moved from General Autism Discussion to Parents' Discussion]

This is going to sound pretty dang cynical but does the birth mom get support payments that she would forego if she no longer had custody? If that is her motivation, perhaps that could be addressed and she could be convinced to give up custody willingly.