Having your child diagnosed bring out any family skeletons?

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So, while my son was in the process of evaluation, I discovered some interesting nuggets of information that I never knew about my family. In general, I think we are 'averagely' close and communicate well, etc.

1) Anyway, the first--from my husband--was after he read about Aspergers and heard me out about my concerns about our son, he said he remembered he'd had 'some issue' when he was in elementary school with reading/writing and had to take a remedial class. He has many Aspie traits, but no diagnosis. His mother can't/hasn't told him exactly why he had to be in a remedial class, but that was 35 years ago.

2) During this process, I told my mother what was going on. After my son was finally diagnosed, and I was chatting with her one day about my son and him needing speech therapy, I mentioned near the end to her that someone had once told me that my youngest brother should have had speech therapy--he was 20 at the time. 'Oh', she says, 'Well, he did.' I was really surprised (he also has quite a few Aspie traits.) And, she tells me, my other younger brother (diagnosed OCD) had to have speech therapy as well. She mentioned these things as a kind of afterthought because I brought it up. She didn't seem to think it was relevant. I asked her why/what for/what type of speech issues--and she doesn't know. She just knows that a teacher told her to have them evaluated and it ended up in them having to do speech therapy for about a year. I was never told this as a child. Hush-hush I guess. Of course, all of this would have been nice to know for the 'family history' part of the evaluation, but ah well.

Very interesting how little our mothers sought to know at that time--just listened to the doctor and did what they said I guess. Of course a lot less was known about Aspergers/Autism then. But I find it interesting that my process with my son--and my willingness to be open about it--have brought out more information. We have yet to talk to my mother-in-law, and my guess is her response will be that 'all kids are the same, some are just lazy and need to tough it up.' Doubt much information about my husband and his childhood issues will be divulged.

Haven't told my brothers yet either . . . trying to figure out how/why/when will be good for that.

Sorry, I suppose this question could also be asked of those of you who have received an ASD diagnosis . . . did your diagnosis reveal anything you didn't know in the family? Just interesting.

I already knew about a few skeletons before I got married and had kids--I had a history of epilepsy due to unknown causes, I had a grandfather who had had mental health issues, and my husband had one incident of depresssion in his past.

Well, turns out there was a lot more in my kids' family trees than I knew: 5 relatives with bipolar (my grandfather, my aunt, my husband, my husband's brother, and my husband's father) and a couple of others with bipolar who never got diagnosed. (My husband had actually had more mental health treatment than he had revealed, his brother got diagnosed after our kids were born, and he had said that his dad had died of a drug overdose but had not told me that it was suicide connected with bipolar disorder).

It is now clear that my husband's mother has OCD, and my brother's handwriting issues are dysgraphia associated with autism spectrum disorder. I also wonder if all the fighting that I did with my little brother was "sibling rivalry," as my parents put it. (He was always the initiator).

It is also clear that I had selective mutism (a severe social anxiety disorder where the child cannot speak in social situations due to anxiety) when I was a child. I was repeatedly sent to the school counselor for failing to talk in class. Upon my mother's suggestion, I eventually told the school counselor that I didn't want to go. (Apparently, this was the first thing that I said to her). I didn't have to go any more, and my parents just assumed that I was shy.

Both my brother and I have unusual gaits. Now, it looks like both my younger brother and I were probably aspies, and I have no idea what other symptoms might have been displayed. My mother never talks about me going to the school counselor, and I would not have known if I had not remembered it myself.

I also suspect my grandfather, mother-in-law, aunt, and brother-in-law, and a cousin of being aspies. I have one first cousin who has classic autism and is now high functioning due to intensive intervention.

Incidentally, my family and my husband's family are full of people who are very academically gifted. Whether that lets individuals with issues adapt or whether it is tied to the various issues, I don't know.

I sometimes wonder how long it would have taken my son to be diagnosed if I had not had my youngest daughter who was obviously and severely autistic. He is pretty classic Aspie and obviously I am too. It started the wheels spinning for my Mom because her Dad was always a bit peculiar, made lots of odd noises, had severe sensory issues....he would wrap up food that might smell and put it in the freezer until the next day when he could take it out to the garbage cans. Everyone called him "The Nose" in the family and we also had the saying "You dont have to worry about it, Gramps will do that for you" . My older brother was is orderly and put everything in alphabetical order. He collected stamps and coins (still does and he is nearly 50)....he is very loud sometimes and recites lines from movies (actually we all do that). He also struggles with his emotions. My younger brother is very quiet and used to bash his head into the floor when he was little....he always had a bruise on his head....he also would run when he hurt himself, you had to catch him to see if he did any damage. He has no friends...he looks like my Gramps who also had no friends. He likes to go deer hunting (Im a vegi so this bugs me) and four wheeling. Both my bros and my Dad are OBSESSED with football. My older bro is a football coach for HS and a History teacher. He was always obsessed with history as well. Whenever we went on a trip we had to stop at all the historical sites or my brother would have a meltdown. I also had really bad meltdowns when I was little, sometimes my Mom had to throw water on me to stop me......she said it started to look like a seizure.
I also have an auntie who is a lot like me and my now 19 year old was diagnosed with Aspergers a few years ago but did not accept it until she saw the Temple Grandin movie and saw that not only is she a lot like her but people with Autism can do amazing things. My 21 year old daughter who has some sensory and auditory processing disorder but obviously no social problems (she understands people and has been explaining things to me since she was little) had just helped her boyfriend of 4 years realize he has Aspergers as well.....I guess after living with us she feels comfortable with him !

Well long before my daughter was diagnosed I had long suspected my Father in Law had aspergers. I mentioned this before but he is hearing impaired and wears a hearing aid and can hear. The family blames his peculiar behavior on being deaf. But I have known deaf mutes who have better social skills and unlike every other deaf person I know has almost no facial expressions. He also has very limited interests and he doesn't seem to know things you would think everybody does.

I don't think my husband and I have it although we both have some traits of it. I definitely identify with aspies on the board. Our oldest son is brilliant but awkward yet NT (I think) and our youngest daughter is the one who is an aspie.

Gnomey . . . brilliant but awkward NT . . . I like that. That's probably, honestly, how most people would describe me.

It's just interesting how once I started looking and even being vocal about stuff, it was easy to find more family history. But most is still undiagnosed or hush/hush. Both of my brothers who had to have speech therapy had multiple problems in school. One has had a diagnosis of OCD and been on meds for depression/bi-polar. He was probably ADD/ADHD as a child, but incredibly social always and very good at social situations. But miserable behavior, though sweet as anything. Very misunderstood as a child.

My other brother I think is borderline Aspergers. But I think he is so smart that he has by now learned to function fairly well. He had selective mutism as a child. Refused to talk on the phone to anyone--even family--until well into middle school. Would tell kids 'no thank you' when they asked to play with him at the park. Not shy, just anti-social we thought. Lined things up on his dresser, would freak out if he saw someone had moved something. Stayed stuck on topics/hobbies for years and was obsessive about them. As a toddler, had memorized facts about the solar system that would shame a middle-schooler. To this day, a lot of his conversations are one-sided about his interests. His marriage lasted only a year, but honestly I don't blame him for that. He married a girl who had a troubled family history, and I don't think her expectations gelled well with his personality and she left him. He is also a sweetheart, but very poor executive functioning and kind of clueless in social situations. I don't think anyone has ever broached the topic of Aspergers with him. I wonder what he would think about it.

Both of my younger brothers are animated, sweet, and very smart . . . when my one brother was diagnosed OCD/bi-polar and finally got meds, he was able to come clean (off drugs) and keep a stable job. He overdosed and almost died before he saw a therapist and figured some of that stuff out.

I have four cousins with seizure problems--not epilepsy--but stress-induced seizures that they can't figure out the 'why' for.

My husband--would be happy to just stay home every day. But he works and he typically does well on his job. Great guy, but he is terrible at communication--I mean, even with co-workers and friends. He doesn't understand peoples intentions or meaning half the time in conversations. He cannot read social cues or settings. I find myself filling in those gaps for him a lot. He lacks the ability to visualize what is being spoken about--he must see pictures/diagrams (i.e. a calendar when talking about schedule or written down numbers for money) or he can't follow the verbal part.
He quite often says things that are rude or offensive because they are TOO honest, but he honestly innocently does not see it. He is not malicious in his intent. He does a lot of 'bluffing' with things he doesn't get/understand in a social setting. He doesn't drone on about his topics of interest and he isn't overly obsessive about his interests, but his interests are pretty narrow. I think now that we have done so much reading on our son, he sees a lot of Aspie traits in himself. Not sure if that is helping him, but I think he perhaps also has some regret that no one ever helped him in the same way.