Do all children with Autism like routines?

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I have been reading that routines are important for children with autism and so I should create one. I am trying to first figure out what his routines are before I start making any changes. He is 3 years old but doesn't seem to have any routines or any OCD behaviors so I am at a loss as to where to begin. Do all children with autism have routines or OCD behaviors? If I cannot find a routine, should I still create one for him? If he seems indifferent to routines, will giving him a routine cause him to become rigid?
Thanks for your advice and opinions.

Yes. Just do it right, do it wrong and you cause more harm than good. So step carefully. First lesson is the child need to benefit somehow from the routine, preferably learn something explore/develop skills. Do not set in a routine just for the purpose of having a routine, that's when you get escalating rigidity.

You want pedagogic approach. Check up "The Montessori Method"

This is my opinion and advice. I am not professional.

And please do not forget. Activities do not HAVE to be routines. It is actually very preferred that they are not until they become wanted by the child as routine, something you surely will notice.

Thanks for your advice. He turned 3 in Jan and has autistic traits but the neurologist says he doesn't believe he has autism (still not sure what that means). I can't seem to find any rituals that he has and I have been watching him like a hawf for the past 3 weeks. But everything I have read emphasize routines. This may sound absurd, but I am not sure how the routines will help him.

His major issues is he has language delays (he sometimes understands and sometimes responds but it is not consistant, he responds more often that not). I am not sure how to get a routine to help with that. He has sensory issues with his mouth. He uses his mouth to help with exploration but he doesn't have any aversions to putting things in his mouth.

My son fights all the routines like crazy, but the minute we go off them, he starts having random meltdowns. The issue is not to have a rigid schedule, but to keep their days predictable - when you have a communication delay of any kind, it can be very difficult to understand what is happening to you. Here's an article that many of us have found helpful that may give you an idea of why routine is important:

http://www.oneplaceforspecialneeds.com/ ... utism.html

Routines are good for any child, so even if your son doesn't wind up with a developmental delay, it's a good idea to implement one.

My daughter has finally been seen by an educational psychologist, just yesterday. According to her, she seems to present as a child with very high functioning Aspergers, but does not tick all the boxes (which I concur with). Routines are a no-no for my daughter. She loves surprises and any attempt at reward systems have fallen flat after a few days and we've had to come up with fresh ideas constantly. But, as I said, she probably does not meet the criteria for Aspergers anyway, although she's on the spectrum somewhere. However, I don't think needing routine is a prerequisite for Aspergers diagnosis. It's just one of the more common traits.

When my DS was 3, I knew nothing about Asperger's. I wondered about Autism at 2 because he was not talking, but by three, the early childhood intervention speech therapist said he was caught up in speech and very smart, so I stopped worrying. At 3, my son didn't seem to have any routines. However, I was the kind of parent that kept a flexible schedule - meaning... I had a schedule we followed, but not rigidly. Perhaps that just fit well with my son. I did notice my son had problems with transitions - waking up, dropping off at daycare, bedtime, going to a new place...etc. I just blamed it on his "slow to warm" temperament. Looking back, maybe it was a part of the Asperger's. If you would have asked me then if my child had routines, I would have said "no." Around age 5, he began making comments about people not doing what they were supposed to do, and becoming upset when things did not go as he imagined they would go. He would get upset if we were supposed to go to Wal-Mart, and I stopped at the gas station first, but if I told him we were going to the gas station then Wal-Mart, there was no problem. If there was a substitute in his class, there was a guaranteed "bad" day as the sub would not do something "right" because it was different from what his teacher does. He is 11 now, and fairly flexible as far as the ASD spectrum, but his dad and I have noticed he does much better, and there is less anxiety, and less meltdowns if there is a routine. He likes having lists and knowing what to do. He does much better with changes in routine if he has a plan and is prepared (social stories are great). Personally, I think a flexible schedule can be good for all kids, not just kids with AS. Here is an article about it.

http://stayathomedads.about.com/od/your ... outine.htm

So far, my son has no issues with transitions or going to new places or meeting new people (he looks around with wonder when we go out, as if he is trying to "see" everything. When we took him to the school to be evaluated, we hung back while he went into the room with the therapists and he didn't seem to mind that we are not there.

He sometimes may cry a little when DH or I leave the house but that's mostly because we take him walkingand he thinks we are going walking and he wants to go too (at that point he starts asking for his shoes, socks, jacket and hat).

We may have a loose routine at home in that he will have to use the bathroom, eat, play, read, etc but it's in no order. Somedays I can't even fit in all the activities but he doesn't notice. He may ask for some things (to be read to, picked up, played with) but it's no particular order.

In the summer he will start school and I am sure the school has a lot of routines. Do you think this will be an issue? My older son, who is NT, didn't care for routines when he also started school but got used to it after about 2 weeks. Do you think my 3 yo will have an even harder time adjusting to routines?

I am not dx'd with AS, but something I have come to realize as an adult is that having some structure really helps me. I wouldn't want it to be to rigid, but having some structure and routine makes my day flow much smoother and keeps me on track. I also don't get that "lost" feeling that I get when things are too loose-- I know what I'm supposed to be doing and when. It cuts down on upsets and mini-meltdowns due to last-minute changes, unfufilled expectations on my part and that of others, and problems I have due to poor time management abilities. I know if I had some structure as a child it would have really helped me, but my parents weren't able to give that to me, for reasons I won't go into here. Having a routine can make an occasional deviation from it for something enjoyable extra fun for me. Your child might or might not like this. I have noticed that I am more bothered by some deviations from my routine once I have one established one.

Don't stress out about routines at this point in time. Every kid is different, even on the spectrum. Some of us are more into routines than others. Some, myself included are into a more flexible type of routine. Also he is kind of young yet for needing a routine. In my case, I will figure out what I want to do for the day, like catch up on stuff online on the computer, but occasionally my dial-up modem goes on the fritz, and I can't get online. I don't have a panic, because there are a bunch of other things I can do, that I have as back up tasks. I just do some of them instead. Usually I can get online the next day. I don't want to buy a new modem, because I eventually plan on getting cable I-net. This gives me a "loose" routine, and that works for me.

What does bother me in regards to routine is having other people suddenly spring things on me. That drives me absolutely nuts. For myself, I make my own loose plans, plus back up alternatives, but I don't handle well someone else making plans regarding me without my knowing about it well enough in advance. I am very likely to refuse to participate in what they spring on me. Fortunately, I am an adult and live alone, so I often have the option to refuse these surprise plans.

Actually right now, it's a good idea for you to not get too involved in rigid schedules, but to keep things more loose. The longer you can do this the better, I think, because he is likely to be less rigid if and when he does want to have more of a routine set up. That will be better for those times when changes in routine need to occur. He will let you know when he wants more "order" in his life.

So relax, and have fun with your kid.

Based on what everyone says, I think I should just go with the flow for now and see if he looks like he wants a routine. I will have to explain to the preschool teacher that he has never had a real routine and to let me know if he looks like he is struggling.

my son at 3 didnt care about routines, had no issues transitioning, etc...as he got older those things became issues. I think becasue he was becoming more aware that the world was a big loud sensory overloading place, but at 3 he was fine with these things. I woudnt call him OCD at 3 either, but now OH YEAH!! ! He still inst that much of a stickler on routines, but he is a pattern thinking and he will detect the pattern or routine in events even if I am not purposely doing a routine, etc...

If you feel that a routine would help him understand something or help transition or teach something, then go for it. just be careful as others said to not be too rigid in the routine. Every now and then I like to break a rule, routine or schedule...just to show him it is ok to deviate and not everyting will go as planned, and we have to learn to adjust with that. Again, at 3 we had no issues with these things as we do now.