Personal Space . . . School Trouble. Help!

Post Reply New Topic

Had *another* e-mail from the teacher tonight. I hadn't heard anything for a few days and thought maybe things were going well. Sigh.

It seems our little one (almost 5) in a regular kindergarten class is really bothering his friends and it's causing some problems. This is not the first time. His teacher said he spins, sways, or moves his arms and then accidentally bumps a friend (he barely even realizes he's doing this). Then, the friend--feeling threatened or annoyed--will push him back or yell at him. Then, he, feeling attacked for 'no reason' will hit them or push back. He smacked a girl in the face today.
He was trying to look at something she was looking at and accidentally bumped her and she pushed him and say, 'hey!' and he hit her. (He does have a problem with anger at home sometimes too. He has a very hard time expressing himself.) Most of the problems arise from his lack of awareness that his movement is bothering someone, then they act out and then he acts out because he lacks the ability to properly express himself.

Anyway, we haven't started OT yet, which I guess will help him with his stimming/movement and personal space. But is there anything I can start doing with him in the meantime to help him out? We are trying the social stories, but so far they have really 'connected' with him and made a difference in this area.
My heart really breaks for him and his difficulty at interacting with others. And that they don't understand that he doesn't understand. He's not trying to be rude, but he's got to learn how to not annoy his classmates. And how to read their annoyance.

I'm thinking we do some situational 'role playing' at home. That's all I can think of so far.

You could try reading Personal space camp by Julia Cook with him. Since the bumping isn't really under his control yet, maybe work more on saying sorry instead of hitting?

Does he have an IEP or 504? I would ask the school to start one if not, and to make sure it includes movement breaks. Sounds like your child has some proprioperception issues (awareness of where his own body is in space) that can surely be helped with OT, but in the meantime, maybe some sensory aids to help him in class: rubber band across the legs of his chair to push against, fidgets for his hands, etc.

We still have this issue with my 11yo; he's much, much better but has only just now come to the understanding that his perception of being 'hit for no reason' isn't in line with reality. We've had a long, hard road when it came to the hitting - he'd been doing it since he was three and has only started to have control over it in the last year.

Maybe social stories, role-plays and practice? The major problem is that more than likely you've got four or five different things going on at once: sensory issues, social misunderstanding, stress from being in school, inability to express himself, impulse control...you probably have to untangle at least three of those before he's going to be able to stop the "fight or flight" reaction.

Hang in there, he'll get it eventually - but push for more help from the school if you can.

I know you said you have tried social stories and are not seeing much in the way of results but we got a lot of mileage out of Tucker Turtle. You can download this and other stories from the Vanderbilt University website: CSEFEL
There's some other good info on this site as well.
If the situations are as you describe, I would say the other kids' reactions to accidentally being bumped are inappropriate as well. They should be learning that when someone bumps you, you use your words to ask them to stop you don't push them. I'd say the teachers need to address this with the whole class, not just your child.

Angelgarden - we found something that's basically exactly what you have at a local outdoor store - the only thing about it is that it's probably a bit more durable than a balloon (it cost like $3, they called it a "stress ball.) However, it's exactly what you did; nothing wrong with making it yourself! (half of the "weighted" products are just quilts filled with gravel.)

Baby toys make good "fidgets," there are all kinds of them: http://www.sears.com/shc/s/p_10153_1260 ... 4888360301

Otherwise, there are a LOT of online stores that offer specific toys for kids with sensory needs, at the very least a place for more ideas (not advocating for any particular store, so please shop around:) http://www.sensoryuniversity.com/ http://www.specialneedstoys.com/ http://www.stepforward123.com/ http://www.playworks.net/special-needs-toys.html

I learned a lot just looking through this kind of stuff, and found things we can adapt and make ourselves (e.g. you don't need to buy an "autism specific" rubber band for chair legs, you can make one or rig one) and found things in the regular store that are helfpul (yoga ball, balance board)

Hi My son has As we have some issues with the movement thing but not the same ones anyway they sugested to me maybe have him wear a skin which is basicly s surfers skin with sleves and it fits the snug I did not use this but it sounded like a good thing to help them feel where theyre body is someone also mentioned a weighted vest on here > hope it helps I so know the feeling you are having !