Should I be happy or sad?

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When we realized that my son (age 3) was delayed, I spoke to everyone I knew who had any experience with it. My GYN has a son on the spectrum and she has had a rough time with the school district (she currently has a lawsuit pending) and she gave me a lot of information. I didn't want to go the route of fighting this out in court so I figured I would try and work the "system" so that my son would get the help he needs.

When he was evaluated, he qualified for OT, PT, and ST. They said the classroom was the Behavioral Therapy. So, we had the meeting with the admin, and realized during the meeting that she was doing yet another evaluation (our son wasn't there). She was seeing if he could funtion in a larger class (the recommendation was 10:1:2) but my husband and I figured she was doing this so we exaggerated his needs. At the end of the meeting, she approved us for a 8:1:2.

She also approved a year long program but since all the summer programs were full, he wouldn't start getting benefits until September. I wrote several letters to her and she said he would need to be evaluated again in order to get the home services now. I wrote even more letters and she relented with giving him ST for 30 mins 2xweek. Then, when I went to the school, they told me about play therapy and I started my letter writing campaign again.

We had the IEP meeting and sign off yesterday and I was happy to she gave us a special ed teacher for 2 hours, 5 days a week. She also approved OT, PT, ST and BT 2xweek for 30 mins each. All of this I am very happy about. What made me feel really down is that the school now recommends a 6:1:1 classroom for him. When I spoke to the admin, she says that they probably made the change because they think my son needs even more help.

This made me sad because I saw and others have seen so much improvement in his behavior since I have been home, working with with him. He can read some of his books and he is speaking more. He behavior has improved (since he is better able to communicate) and he is overall happier. Don't get me wrong, he still has some struggles with communication, he sometimes stims, and he is exploring tantrums (though it hasn't gone too far since I have stopped responding to him). I want him to have all he needs, which I think he was approved for, but I hate to think that they will now not challenge him. Some of the things on his IEP he has already surpassed. I know if we hadn't worked so hard they wouldn't have given him all that they did (which he absolutely needs) but now we have set the bar so low.

How old is he now? It's not like he'll be getting all that support forever if he doesn't need it.

Stimming is not necessarily a bad thing sometimes it helps with the stress level of people on the spectrum...of course stims that are harmful would be an issue though.

Also I understand your concern of worrying he wont be challenged at all, but keep in mind pushing too hard is also a bad thing.......and sometimes kids on the spectrum are overwhelmed quicker than neurotypical kids and get burnt out much easier. So just something to keep in mind.....but yeah generally I think the more progress is made the less he may need a lot of the services so the other poster is probably right about it changing over time.

He is 3 now (turned 3 in Jan) and has never had any services before. His stimming is visual which is why I never noticed before. He likes to look at thinks from as many angles as he can or look at his fingers back and forth. He is not doing the oral thing as much anymore. He seems to be sensory seeking.

He get's overwhelmed but when he does, he get's hyper, not excessive, but excessive for him. He will want to run around and climb on things when he is overwhelmed/hyper. If left uncheck, he will just lay down and suck his thumb for about 5-15 minutes. Unfortunately, he will lay down whereever he is standing, so you can imagine the fun.

I was just worried that I set the bar so low that when he demonstrates that he can do a lot of the stuff on his IEP (which he can already do) they will think they have made progress, which they haven't. I know we helped to create this IEP but unfortunately the truth wouldn't have got him the services he needs. There has been so many cuts with the DOE that it's so hard for children with developmental delays to get services. I say developmental delays because his delays are with most things. They aren't severe delays, but there are so much (physical, emotional, etc) that all together, they are significant.

If he's just three I wouldn't worry about it at all. At this age too many services are better than not enough.

gree with PP, he is so young...at this age the more the better.

Thanks all. The special ed coordinato comes today to see which teacher will be the best fit for my son. He is in one of his cuddly huggy moods today so hopefully that will work in our favor. I am so nervous and scared that something will go wrong and they will cancel this service. I can't wait to be done with these coordinators and start working with a teacher.