Does a smiling face make you or your child uncomfortable?

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MomofThree1975
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22 Jul 2012, 4:09 pm

My 3 1/2 son, in his attempt to keep my on my toes, would prefer sometimes that I don't smile. Let me give you a couple examples. We could be outside playing and we are all laughing and happy. My eyes will meet his for a few seconds and then he may cover his smiling mouth, try to cover my smiling mouth or cover his eyes. There are other times if we are just in the house and I look at him and smile, he will run over, cover my mouth and say, "Let's lay down" which is his way of saying he needs a break. There are other times where if we are laughing, he will try really hard not to laugh and when he cannot, he will cover his mouth and say, "Stop Laughing". Or, if he is telling me something and I have a smile on my face, he will laugh and look away, while asking me to stop laughing. And to totally confuse me, if I am not smiling, he will come to me and smile or laugh. If I return his smile, he tries to cover over my mouth, hide his eyes, cover his mouth etc.

Now, we are a happy, smiley family. He normally is a pretty happy kid with an infectious laugh and smile. For the life of me, I don't know if my smiles are being received as something good or bad. This started a couple weeks ago. Sometimes, he smiles as if he is very shy or blushing. I can't imagine if he could be getting shy with me. He is a very affectionate touchy feely kinda kid. He and his 1 1/2 yo sister will sit, look at each other and crack up laughing (not sure what the joke is) so I don't know why he does this with me. BTW, I am the only one he does this with.

Does anyone have any experience with this?



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22 Jul 2012, 4:37 pm

Is he trying to tease you?

I mean, this exact thing is not something that has ever happened to me. But my daughter does this thing where she will find something fairly innocuous funny and then she persists in trying to recreate it at the most inopportune times in the most bizarre ways. The only reason I ever caught on to why she was behaving so weird was because her brother acted as her "translator" and explained what she was doing.

I wish I could think of a specific example. But using your example, it could be something as simple as seeing it in a commercial once, a kid covering his mom's mouth. Then she could be stuck on this for an extended period of time.

She doesn't do it as much now that she is more verbal, but when she was younger it happened more.

Sorry...that's all I got.


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MomofThree1975
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22 Jul 2012, 5:06 pm

I don't think he is trying to tease me, though I wish that was it. For example, if he is trying to cover my mouth and I hold his hangs and countinue to smile or laugh, he will laugh (like he is being tickled too much) and look away. Sometimes he will try to hold his lips so it doesn't smile. I know what he does makes sense to him but his communication isn't developed well enough for him to tell me how it feels. I also don't know why this happens with me only. I do look at him alot but he is such a sweetheart I can't help smiling at him.



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22 Jul 2012, 5:14 pm

I know someone who's son requested to her that she only look at him without her face facing him, only her eyes (kind of like the stereotypic autistic sideways glance) when she was reprimanding him. She tried it and, sure enough, being reprimanded did not set him off as much. He couldn't process her whole face when he was emotionally aroused.

Could you get one of those emotions charts (you know with cartoon faces) and ask him how he feels when you smile at him? I mean, if he continues laughing, it would seem at first that it is not distressing, but maybe it is? Maybe it is too much for him to "take in" all at once?

Does it make a difference if you show teeth or not?


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MomofThree1975
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22 Jul 2012, 5:42 pm

So then it would only be my smiling face that is too much? If I stop smiling when he covers my mouth, he is fine, we can carry on. But his recovery is instantaneous, meaning he will continue to laugh or smile. He doesn't have meltdowns or have any other issues looking me in my face/eyes.

I am wondering if it's some extreme shyness he is developing with me.Though that doesn't fully explain it. He does seek me out sometimes for play. I guess you could be right in that he needs to control the amout of input he takes in from our play and laugh and smiles.



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22 Jul 2012, 7:11 pm

My son has told me in the past that he thinks some people look "evil" when they smile. Not everyone. And please note that his idea of "evil" has a cartoonish ring to it.


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MomofThree1975
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22 Jul 2012, 7:25 pm

InThisTogether wrote:
My son has told me in the past that he thinks some people look "evil" when they smile. Not everyone. And please note that his idea of "evil" has a cartoonish ring to it.


:lol: :lol: That made me laugh. Ok, that will be th first thing I ask him when I think I can get an answer. :lol:



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22 Jul 2012, 7:47 pm

You may be amazed when he starts to explain his inner world. My daughter is fascinating. She actually remembers not being able to talk like the other kids in her class (when she was 3. She is almost 7 now). She has also described how she thinks I know what she is thinking. It's really amazing. Somethings she cannot explain, though, like why she becomes mute and how she thinks.


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MMJMOM
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22 Jul 2012, 8:27 pm

thats interesting! I wonder if its some kind of game that he has made up that he only plays with you? What happens if you dont stop smiling?


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MomofThree1975
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22 Jul 2012, 9:12 pm

MMJMOM - If I keep smiling, he will keep smiling or laughing and looks away or hides his face. When I show him that I stopped laughing, he will resume looking at me, and will continue with his laughing or smiling.

I am wondering if maybe he thinks he is too smiley and is trying to stop himself from doing it? :? He is aware of his facial expressions and like for us to prentend we are feeling a certain way. Right now, we are up to pretending that he is crying, laughing, funny face, surprise, sad, and angry.