aggression and threats

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This has been a very difficult few days DD's behaviours seem to be escalating at a rapid rate. I've already put up a thread recently about her difficulties in school, but yesterday reached a whole new level. She has been on edge for a while now, the slightest little thing seems to lead to major outbursts and meltdowns. Yesterday she had 2 within the space of a few hours. Screaming, crying, kicking and lashing out, which culminated in me walking into her bedroom to find her with a pair of scissors at her throat and threatening to slit it I called the out of hours medical team who sent a doctor to assess her, he found her to be calm enough and best to leave her be with the advice to call the police if she was a threat to herself during the night , and if he thought I would call the police on my 12 yr old daughter, HE'S bloody nuts!!

Called her psychologist today, only to find she's on holiday and wont be back for over a week

I'm absolutely shattered and drained. Terrified as I have never seen anything like that from her before. Does anyone else have any experience of behaviours like this and what did you do?

She's on fluoxetine 20mg per day.

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Women and cats rule the world, men and dogs should just relax and get used to the idea

I can't imagine how you must feel right now. (((HUGS))) No parents should ever have to watch their children go through stuff like this. Who prescribed the meds for her? The psychologist who is on vacation? Is there any other doc you can talk to? I can't imagine what the emergency doc thought the police could do in a situation like that. She needs medical help not to be thrown in jail or something!

Is it possible she can just have a few days to do whatever she wants, i.e. no school or anything, and see if she can get some relief from the stress? Maybe then you start to try to figure out what exactly is triggering her. It sounds like she is in a very agitated state and in such a condition you won't be able to learn what the real problems are.

Thanks Bombaloo.

Apparently the calling the police is because they can respond more quickly and remove her to a place of safety, what, a jail cell?? Not a chance, can you imagine the terror a 12 yr old going through a meltdown would feel at being dragged away by the police?

Yes, it's her psych who is on hols who prescribed her meds, which I personally don't feel help her at all. The doctor I spoke to today was reluctant to get involved in a colleagues 'case', and just went over calming techniques, which I obv already know, and which don't make a blind bit of difference to a child in the rage stage. He does feel that her medication needs 'tweaking', but as there are lots of side effects it's something we have to seriously think about However, imo, the fact that the rages are increasing, she's being exluded from school, becoming aggressive etc means something has to be done, what she is on is not working to help her.

We're now on summer break here in the UK, so she's off school anyway, which is partly a contributor I think, because she doesn't have her routine in place and she's struggling to cope We were going to head up to Scotland to visit family for a few weeks within the next few days, but we're postponing it until she can see her psych and then just going for about 5 days. I'm not willing to put the pressure on her of dealing with family and trying to be perfect for any length of time (most of the family 'don't get' autism) and being at home in a safe environment is better for her atm I think.

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Women and cats rule the world, men and dogs should just relax and get used to the idea

So sorry - been there, it's awful. Just awful. We did get mostly through it, though - no more violence, though we do have the occasional outburst at home.

There is an entire collection of threads on violence, aggression and suicidal behavior stickied at the top of the board in the Parenting Index. My story's in there, several times over; I hope it or one of the other dozens of stories like it help you. Lots of parents have been through this and it got managed lots of different ways.

We did take DS to the local Children's hospital ER at one point for just that sort of behavior and exactly how that worked is detailed there (I don't want to re-hash, as I'm afraid I won't remember) They were well-versed in dealing with kids with autism, and were very reassuring - and DS learned that we take his language seriously. Though of course we aren't a benchmark for all kids on the spectrum, he wasn't admitted (our choice, but the doctors thought it best) and we've never had to go back (although there are rare occasions where he's upset when he will ask to go to the ER - but I've managed to calm him before it became necessary.)

HUGS. Nothing worse than seeing that kind of pain in your child. I was suicidal myself at that age, and it's 1000 times worse seeing it in your kid than living it.

I don't know how it works in the UK, but in America, if you call 911 for a suicidal person (Emotionally unstable is the radio code) they will send paramedics and sometimes police assist. They do respond fast, and they are trained in how to handle the patient. They will take the patient to a safe place; a mental health hospital. NOT A JAIL.

It won't be a walk in the park, but the people who respond are trained in how to handle it and make it as comforting as possible. Sometimes it can be the best option.

I hope things calm down