Hey all, I am new to this site and to be honest have been very unaware of Aspergers until recently. The more I find out about it, the more I think my Dad has it, and I can also see traits in my brother, sister and in myself to different extents. It would great to hear from people who have experience of Aspergers. I have always thought of my family as very socially awkward and others have noticed it too, and it would be great to identify if it is because of Aspergers as it would help me have a whole lot more understanding for my Dad as our relationship is quite strained.
Few things he does, doesn't listen and talks at people, especially about things he is interested in like cars, can't get emotional in what I would call a 'normal' way (whatever that means!) but is prone to meltdowns, which he has fairly regularly. He cannot stand chewing at the table and gets very irritated by sounds, but strangely when is focused on tv or something you can't get his attention by speaking and have to poke him to get his attention, its like he has selective hearing or something. Once he gets an idea in his head it is very hard to change his mind/reason with him. He is very hardworking and tidy, and he says he 'cannot cope with mess'. Values education very highly, to the point of controlling, for example I joked I could quit my university science course and become a hairdresser and I got a lecture for 2 hours about the value of education and how I would be throwing my life away (my mum was in the room and understood it was a joke). Has real trouble at work with communication with colleagues and has been sent on courses to help him with that, although he is excellent at powerpoint presentations. He struggles with humor in group situations. He doesn't have any close friends, but he has a small group of guys (who to me seem similar to him) which he goes sailing with. Anyway these are to just list a few. He is a very frustrated man with a lot of his life and seems quite depressed but I am too scared to suggest to him that he may have Aspergers as I think he wont take it well. But I do genuinely believe he may have Aspergers, and with some help and understanding from all of us might be a lot happier. I would be great if people could give me their thoughts on this, and whether I should suggest it to him, and if so how?
Also as a second point, the reason I started researching this stuff is because my boyfriend said he had noticed Aspergers traits in me, which he found hard to deal with. The biggest thing seems to be that he says I am intense and have a stare that I do a lot of the time which he hates, but I am unaware when I am doing it (my dad apparently has an identical one). There are a few other possible traits, all of which seem to mirror some of my Dad's traits. Also when we first started dating he said I would talk at him (similar as I described of my Dad above) although now I rarely do that. The most interesting thing is that he says when we are on holiday together the traits almost disappear. When I relax the traits seem to disappear like they are stress related. The traits are very strong when I am around my family. I was wondering whether I could maybe have inherited Aspergers? Or whether it is common for non Aspergers people to pick up Aspergers traits from a parent?
Anyway this is a long post, let me know if you have any questions, would be great to hear from you as I am still very new to this stuff.
30 Jul 2012, 7:28 pm
