Aspergers and Gasoline not a good mix

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Hello is anyone out there? My 5yr old has Aspergers and yesterday he grabbed the pump from the car at the gas station and completed covered himself in it. I just need help PLEASE!! I feel like I am going in circles. On the way to the ER he was screaming at me that he hated me and that I was fired. What can I do to get through these times. I don't care who answers me but please someone answer. I keep begging God for help but not getting any. I am a totally unorganized person and my son needs every detail in his life scheduled or we have melt-down after melt-down. I just want to give up

Go to the internet and type in "Aspergers Support Group in________" Which would be your area. I was surprised to find how many were in my friends area. Then you'll have parents who can help you as well as Aspies themselves....WHICH IS VERY IMPORTANT. Also, if you are from the U.S.A by law your child must be accommodated in his school, or transferred (with district funding ) to a school that can help him. Get an I.E.P ASAP.If he's not in school the district should have a program to prepare him for kindergarten. I work in such a program through San Diego City School. My class are aged 3-5, yeah intervention needs to start early. Also there is a book out from Sacramento CA, called "Special Education Rights and Responsibilities". You are in for an uphill battle with the schools re: your child. They may say stuff like "he can only stay half a day, or we are not suspending him, just sending him home", both are ILLEGAL. If he can't stay in school then they have to suspend him, 10 suspension , then they are forced to set up a special program to help him be successful in school. STUPID.......he needs to have that program BEFORE he gets into trouble. Do not accept "we don't have the funding" that is not your problem, if you fight them they will find it. But that book is vital, EDUCATE, EDUCATE, EDUCATE yourself on what your childs rights are. And I think the aspie support group can give you better info than I can. Good Luck.

I feel for ya. I drank a half-gallon of gas when I was 4.
Dr. asked my mom if I was clinically ret*d.
"Not that I know of but I'm starting to wonder now..."

You're not a bad mom, you ARE doing a good job. Hang in there.

Thank you so much. I know it is dumb of me to need to hear that I am not a bad mother but man I am really starting to doubt my own mothering skills.I have already raised one other child but obviously without the complications I am running into with Jayson. Nobody around here has heard of Aspergers and when I try to explain it is in the Autism spectrum then people act like he isnt even a person anymore and talk about him instead of to him. I do have an IEP and my son has an aide in his classroom now. I am a VERY PUSHY person when I need to be and the first time my son came home after he had severly scratched himself at school they knew that I would be up there butts until they took care of his needs.

This is no help but I have to say I found it hilarious that your son told you that you were fired.

I saw a cartoon of a little boy sitting on a time out and telling his dad, "Mom needs counseling."

i know how hard it is to not beat yourself up for the problems your child has, but you have to try....i'm sure every one of us could come up with a story about something our own children have done that is worrisome. give yourself a big hug.

Must be an aspie thing, but I thought it was funny he said you were fired too. I don't think covering yourself with gasoline is necessarily part of Aspergers. He's five years old. My NT kids did some pretty strange things at that age. What kind of behavior are you seeing that is difficult? Maybe some of us aspies can explain it to you. Forget trying to use typical methods to reach the kids. I talk to my autie son in a totally different way, and don't use traditional methods of discipline. He started out really high strung and now, at 13, he's a cool, calm teen. But you can communicate the best with him using things he relates to.

Make sure you tell him that its a bad thing to do that - a big problem is if you don't, he probably won't see anything wrong with doing that type of thing.

(I'm not saying he's a bad kid - but when I was very young [I have AS] if I wasn't explicitly told not to do something, I usually wasn't mature enough to notice it annoyed my parents/others, and I continued to do that type of behavior)

First, I just wanted to chime in as well on the "You're Fired!" comment because when my son was that age, he told me that all the time! (He's 11 now.) At the very least, maybe you can take some comfort in knowing you are not the only mom to have been "fired" by their five year old. Have any other parents ever heard this from their kids?

I always try to remember that sometimes days aren't rough because I have an Aspie child; sometimes they are just rough because I have a child. Period. "Normal" kids push their parents to the limits, too. Find people, online or off, that you can talk to. I have found that one of the biggest comforts for me is knowing that I am not the only one on the face of the earth dealing with things like this and neither is my son.

Good Luck!

Sounds like you all have been watching too much of "The Apprentice" !

I'm only "mildly" on the autistic spectrum but unintentionall worried my parents a lot at times. At 6, I wandered off in search of my imaginary friends and to look at a reservoir that was about 3 km or so away from my home.

Dad used to take me for walks up the hill where the other town reservoir was but said it was a bit far for me to walk to the other one. Mum was feeding the baby and so I snuck off. After walking for quite a while, I noticed the sun was starting to go down in the sky so I turned back about 2 km into the walk and headed back home. I was found in the town centre just about to turn onto the street where I lived.

When mum noticed I was missing, she called dad and then he called the police. I didn't want to go home as I was terrified of getting a hiding so had to be reassured that I wouldn't but was told I was never to do such a thing again.

To put it all into a bit of context, a year or two before, the 3 Beaumont children disappeared from Glenelg Beach in Adelaide, Australia. No trace has ever been found on them since, and parents of the time became extra vigilant.

There are lots of parents who have or have had challenging times with their Aspie children and would be able to sympathise.

I just wanted to let everyone know that I appreciate all of your responses and stories. It really helped me put things into perspective. I also wanted you to know that I have not been fired yet this week so things that is good news. I don't know where he gets that from but I have heard alot of Aspies use this term lately! I know that I sounded like I blamed Aspies for the gasoline incident and that isn't it at all. I have other children who would never think of doing something like that so I assumed it was the aspies. My son has been having 10-20 meltdowns a day this last week because he has some major changes in school. He has an aide there to help him and last week he liked her but this week it hasn't been an easy one.
My son is an amazing little boy. I love him more than anything and I would do anything for him. That being said I am sorry that I just don't understand a lot of his behaviors. It makes me feel like I am doing something wrong. I know that I am doing all that I can but I just wish there was more I could do.

Thats why, in my opinion it is VITAL that you post here. And believe me, if anyone here dares to pass judgement on your fears and concernes there will be plenty of members who will rush to your defense. And I think it is just as baffling for an NT parent to deal with an AS child as it is for an AS parent to deal with an NT child. I'm an NT parent with two NT children of my own and there where times I couldn't for the life of me figure out what to do with them, thank God for non-judgemental friends. I've worked with special needs children for years, this website is a wonderful place to be. I look at the forums and sometimes find answers to my questions before I even ask. Way cool coming on here.

Thats why, in my opinion it is VITAL that you post here. And believe me, if anyone here dares to pass judgement on your fears and concernes there will be plenty of members who will rush to your defense. And I think it is just as baffling for an NT parent to deal with an AS child as it is for an AS parent to deal with an NT child. I'm an NT parent with two NT children of my own and there where times I couldn't for the life of me figure out what to do with them, thank God for non-judgemental friends. I've worked with special needs children for years, this website is a wonderful place to be. I look at the forums and sometimes find answers to my questions before I even ask. Way cool coming on here.