Crossing guard duty - trouble ahead?

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My 5th grade son has been accepted to be a crossing guard this year - he is sooo excited but we are very nervous about it. He has mild autism - his deficits are mostly in social skills - and he thinks rules are absolutes and does not hesitate to tell that to other kids. Now, following the rules is very important when crossing the street, but he has no idea how to lead without alienating. The first time a kid tries to walk ahead of him as he's leading, instead of a casual "hey c'mon, stay behind the flag" it will be "Will, you know you are supposed to stay behind me. I am in charge and those are the rules and you must follow them." Or something like that. The point is, he's not going to make or keep friends when he acts like an adult, or quotes rules, etc. He loves telling kids what to do even when he isn't in charge.

We are going to try role-playing, but does anyone have any resources or advice for how to help him act more relaxed and age-appropriate?

I hope I have explained myself OK.

Joanna

Pick up a copy of How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie.

That book taught me a lot, and should help him. Full of stories and useful things to do to ... well, win friends and influence people.

I use Michelle Garcia Winner's social thinking stuff, specifically the superflex curriculum stuff
http://www.socialthinking.com/books-pro ... gory_id=37

My daughter likes it so much that she actually put the Social Detective Book on her "recommended reading" list in school!

@InThisTogether -
Is there one book in that series in particular you would recommend for these circumstances ? I know they are all good...I have one of them (can't remember right now which one).

Danny - thank you - that's probably a book I should read and then break the advice down for him.

Joanna

Well, it's not a book, per se, but the Superflex Curriculum includes Rock Brain who's power is to make people very rigid and rule bound. I suggest starting with the Social Detective book first because it is easy and teaches the main concepts to your kid, then you can move into the curriculum, which has a comic book that goes with it, but actually has activities for you to use. Rock Brain deals with getting stuck and rigid, DOF (Destroyer of Fun) is about becoming super competitive so that games are no longer fun, Space Invader is about getting too close to others, etc. Michelle's work has a way of making abstract things easier for the kids to understand. Your son might be on the older end of the age range, although my son is about to start 6th grade and is a bit immature and would still follow along if I asked him to.

I think it's great that you want to prepare him for his duties, and work with him on his style. I think role playing and practice are probably the best, then breaking down what just happened.

Long run, its OK if he makes some mistakes. All kids do. Its taken me a while to let go of my expectations as my son has taken on more and more leadership roles; he actually does much better than average, but for a long time all I would see are the mistakes. The thing is, even NT kids make huge mistakes and get overly autocratic in leadership positions, so it isn't like our kids are glaring neon signs with those style mistakes. Few people can lead well without having learned through trial and error, and those programs with student volunteers allow for that.