Diagnosis - Aspergers

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Hi Everyone

We had our result meeting this evening and our 6yr old daughter has been diagnosed with Aspergers. I wasn't entirely sure if she would get this diagnosis and had considered a few other possibilities. So, I can finally say (to those that it would be of benefit to be told), 'She has Aspergers' and not, 'She's being assessed for autism'. I cried a little, for some reason, although I'm not sad. She's the same child no matter what the diagnosis is. I think it was just because I had received the confirmation of what I had suspected for 2 years and the resulting sense of relief.

Anyway, I thought I would post to let everyone know, as this forum has been a lot of help to me and will continue to be, I'm sure.

As you said, she's still the same girl. It's just a label.
You're now going through a grieving process, and you'll probably feel guilty for feeling that way (after all, there's nothing 'wrong' with being an aspie). This is normal. There's nothing wrong with you.

This is the best time in the history of the world to be an Aspie, and your girl is diagnosed early. Take heart, educate those around you and never give up!

I expected my daughters diagnosis and would have been mad if my son wouldn't have gotten his, but they both made me cry anyway. It's completely normal.

The good news is, you never have to wonder if you are crazy again! You will always have the satisfaction that an outsider with no motivation to see what you see, see's what you see. It seems like a weird thing to take solace in, but that thought has comforted me on more than one occasion.

When our daughter was diagnosed I did not cry (I do not cry easily - my husband is the sentimental one), but I did feel I great relief. Relief because we finally knew "what the problem was" and because we would be able to help her. And we were. After 4 years of therapy, people now think we are lying when we tell them our daughter has AS. A psychologist even asked us "why do you think your daughter has AS". I replied "we do not think. We kow. She was diagnosed". The psycologist then asked the name of the neurologist. When we told her the name she said "well, it is was her I do believe your daughter has AS, because I know her and she is very good". I was like: now we need to convince people! 4 years ago nobody would have doubted there was something "wrong" with her.

Thanks everyone, for your replies.

I had a long chat with my Mum, on the phone, this morning. I told her about how I feel kind of vindicated, after years of feeling that people were judging my parenting, although my parents have always been very supportive. I explained about how my daughter had to learn how to do some things that other kids just picked up naturally. E.g. It took us a long time to encourage her to say 'Please' and 'Thank you'. Her 'lack of manners' was not due to me not bothering to teach her. Most parents don't even need to teach manners, as their kids just follow by example. I was doing much more than most and it had little effect (and often a negative effect). I've even fallen out with my in-laws, over some of their criticisms of the way my daughter was turning out. That said, she is very polite these days. She has learned and I'm very proud of her for that. My Mum hadn't even realised that I was going through this.

Therapy has not been recommended, at this stage. We were told that we're doing everything right. There has been a big improvement since the initial referral, so we're hopeful that this will continue. She's very bright and it seems that she's learning, from observation, and doing very well. But, we have an option to access psychological services, when and if we feel it's necessary.

I will continue to read and read. At least I know now that I'm not barking up the wrong tree and reading the wrong books.

Congratulations, Mummy! I wish I could have said we were doing everything right when my son was first assessed, that is actually an incredible achievement and a testament to the fact that you are a very good parent!

Thats great news, I know what you mean though, its an odd feeling! Now you can move forward Like you say a diagnosis doesnt change who she is but it will help you all through any difficult periods.
We are still in limbo at the moment, we have been told by a psychologist that they would be "very surprised if she didnt have Aspergers" but we are yet to recieve anything in writing as they are tying up loose ends so to speak. When we were told that though we felt releived to have finally got somewhere. We are just waiting for a formal diagnosis and then we can move on to getting help and advice on how to deal with it.

That is really wonderful. Congrats!

I an in the USA and this is still pretty new for me regarding benefits. I had my 3 yo assessed and he qualified for benefits through the school system which is excellent. I think this program is just from 3-5 yo though. I took him to the neurologist and he didn't qualify at the time for a diagnosis, though he has a good amount of ASD traits, according to the neurologist.

If he doesn't get a diagnosis from a neurologist after he turns 5, does that mean he will lose all services when he starts Kindergarten in a regular elementary school? Or, can I still work with the school and get services if I show that he has a need.

Is major issue is communication delay (but so far, academically, he is on track or ahead) so it wasn't hard to convince the school he needed ST.

An educational diagnosis is different and so I don't think it will necessarily be a problem. The only thing is, they may ask if your child has been to a specialist and then ask for permission to get a copy of the report. I would assume you could opt out of that, although I do not know how pushy they would be about it.

You are not required to get a private medical diagnosis to get educational services in the U.S. It is mainly helpful, if you have a reluctant school district, but even then it is not a guarantee.

Since your child is in their 0-3 program, that will give them plenty of info, plus they do their own testing every 3 years.

Thats great news, now you can move forward!