misrepresenting the truth

Post Reply New Topic

we had the "pleasure" of receiving a visit today from a town cop.the cop was here not because anyone in my family had done anything, but because an acquaintance of my aspie son had run away from home....son told, IMO & the cops opinion, 4 different stories about the missing boy all with the same ending...son says he was telling the truth all along, but that no one listens to him. I'm left with feeling that i cannot trust my son to tell the truth. son is mad at me because i said that to him. i just don't get it...what am i missing ?

How old is he?

Could he be telling four threads of the same story?

This post hit a chord in me, because i have often been accused of 'lying' about a particular incident, people always assume that im changing my story from one lie to the other. I think its an AS related thing, I dont know WHY but when i tell an account about something it always seems to... i dont know... come out differently, but i know that im talking about the same events and not changing evrything... but people always assume im lying

Without really knowing the details it would be hard to say - but I have a tendency to forget to mention details that may be blatents because my mind may be focusing on one aspect only. So maybe his story APPEARS to be different but in each version he was highlighting something different that he thought was important or would be helpful. Also - and this was the first thing I thought about when I saw your post - is he being repeatedly questioned about this? If so then it would seem obvious to me that he feels that the answer he is giving is insufficient so he needs to elaborate or incorporate more detail to satisfy.

the cop was not exactly the most kind....i tried to explain to the cop that my son has Aspergers & that the lack of eye contact son was giving the cop was not to do with son lying ( cop accused him of this)....all in all it was VERY stressful for both son and I. The cop felt like son was jerking his chain, and I began to feel the same way after each story seemed to be quite different. First son said that they were at 7-11 & the other kid got into a car with a guy around 20-30 years ole....then son changed it to say that they went to 7-11 and that after going into the store, the kid headed off in the opposite direction ... then son changed it to say that they went to a different store....then he changed it that they didn't even go to a store.
the cop was really pressuring son for an answer, and unfortunately for my son, he looks like he is higher functioning than he is~his lack of compliance is often seen as defiance and not misunderstanding.

Maybe he couldn't remember which store it was and the other kid went in the opposite direction and got into someones car. I would probably have changed my story too without even realizing it, but each time I still tell the truth.

Actually, being questioned by a cop about something this serious can be just as bad for an NT kid. They want to please the cop by saying the "right" thing. Cops use this fear and confusion to force the child into saying anything that will lead them somewhere-even it's not the truth.
My husband (who is Aspie or "HFA") was detained in a cop car at age 8. Some kid (a 12 year old) set an abandoned car on fire and a spiteful neighbor said it was my husband. They took him into the car and interrogated him for hours. They kept telling him that they knew it was him and if he didn't confess, he'd go to jail and never see his family again. The idea of confessing or giving a false answer (saying it was somebody else) is presented to the child that they will be okay and can go home.
Because my husband both didn't know who committed the crime and he shut down (didn't talk at all, didn't even say that he didn't do it) drove the cops nuts.
Luckily, they found the real perp and let my husband go (w/o apology of course).

I would ask son in a different way about the trip to 7-11-without the pressure.

It really seems like instead of "lying" your son interpreted this as his answers not being acceptable so he was looking to provide ones that would be accepted. This really sets the kid up to lie if he doesn't understand what is going on.

I got into an argument with the County Attorney's office here because they had subpeonaed me as a witness to a domestic assult and I wanted to know that the case was about so that I can make sure I had the facts ready (in fact, I even consulted my own lawyer).

Persons on the spectrum tend to process information longer, especially in trying to access information from long term memory. I am going to assume that at least 12 hours past between the time of the incident and when the officer visited your house. What may be happening is that your son is trying to figure out what the truth is and at the same time, trying to please the officer. The best thing would have been to offer the officer a period of time (say 4 - 8 hours) where your sone would be allowed to write (or type) his response to be handed to the officer at that time. That would have given you child enough time process what was wanted and get the story down.

This is the reason I want to get a police training session going here regarding ASDs. I think the officer did not realize that his tactics would backfire in his case and that the more pressure he was applying, the less information he would have gotten.

I got into an argument with the County Attorney's office here because they had subpeonaed me as a witness to a domestic assult and I wanted to know that the case was about so that I can make sure I had the facts ready (in fact, I even consulted my own lawyer).

Persons on the spectrum tend to process information longer, especially in trying to access information from long term memory. I am going to assume that at least 12 hours past between the time of the incident and when the officer visited your house. What may be happening is that your son is trying to figure out what the truth is and at the same time, trying to please the officer. The best thing would have been to offer the officer a period of time (say 4 - 8 hours) where your sone would be allowed to write (or type) his response to be handed to the officer at that time. That would have given you child enough time process what was wanted and get the story down.

This is the reason I want to get a police training session going here regarding ASDs. I think the officer did not realize that his tactics would backfire in his case and that the more pressure he was applying, the less information he would have gotten.

I got into an argument with the County Attorney's office here because they had subpeonaed me as a witness to a domestic assult and I wanted to know that the case was about so that I can make sure I had the facts ready (in fact, I even consulted my own lawyer).

Persons on the spectrum tend to process information longer, especially in trying to access information from long term memory. I am going to assume that at least 12 hours past between the time of the incident and when the officer visited your house. What may be happening is that your son is trying to figure out what the truth is and at the same time, trying to please the officer. The best thing would have been to offer the officer a period of time (say 4 - 8 hours) where your sone would be allowed to write (or type) his response to be handed to the officer at that time. That would have given you child enough time process what was wanted and get the story down.

This is the reason I want to get a police training session going here regarding ASDs. I think the officer did not realize that his tactics would backfire in his case and that the more pressure he was applying, the less information he would have gotten.

i think most police depts do not have the training nor understanding of what ASD's look like.they should really have much more extensive training...it was difficult also because son does not like to announce that he's aspie right away~looks like a "cop out" LOL....i had hoped son could get through the interview without having to say anything about his dx. son was not exactly happy when i did mention it, but i felt the cop was getting angrier by the minute at son's seeming lack of compliance. in the end, the cop wasn't asking specific , direct questions. he asked son "if you were him, where would you go ?"...now, i know the cop was really looking for my son to say where the kid went...but son started listing all of the places *he* would go~the cop starts writing down all of sons ideas. i finally stopped son & had to say " I know you don't always understand what someone is asking you. he ( the cop) is asking you if you know where the kid went or told the kid where to go." son looked at me in amazement and said: " oh...i don't know."

The police officer must have left your house thinking about what a huge waste of time that was

If you son does hang out in places where typical 12 year olds hang out, then he did get some information. If he is anything like me at age 12 however, the cop could check those places all day and be clueless (except for maybe the video game arcade).

first of all Aspie children/teens/adults have a very hard time putting into words information from certain instances.. my son would never ever have been able to tell anyone important information like this because he has such a hard time forming into words what he is thinking. i would have cut him off at the pass (the cop) and tell him that anything that is said can not be used against him and if he wanted to speak to him then he should bring a childrens advocate who is trained in working with children who have AS or other issues.. i can say the one thing is that i can tell when my son is not being truthful. but I know that he knows that if he is not truthful and he gets caught and someoen gets hurt then he is in trouble for a LONG time. when he gets his act together then my son usually tells me the real deal..

how do they know he ran away? I hope that he was not abducted. this is a thought that I would not want to think of..