Page 1 of 1 [ 10 posts ] 

caramateo
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 18 Sep 2007
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 282

23 Aug 2012, 8:19 pm

I have two 1year old twins and one of them exhibits neurotypical traits.
She is needy, loves attention just because even if I'm sick and busy and wants to be
on my lap at all times. Unlike her sister she prefers social interaction from
playing with toys. She always wants to talk. This is suffocating.
Any ideas on how to deal with NT kids?



momsparky
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,772

23 Aug 2012, 8:27 pm

My son is not NT, but he was very, very clingy and wanted interaction with me all the time when he was little; he has AS but has always been fairly social. This bit of parenting at age 1 is particularly difficult, especially if you're overwhelmed with sensory stuff about touch, and it feels relentless.

I wish I had better advice for you, but the good news is that, from what I see on the playground, NT kids usually move from their parent to other kids pretty quickly; she will become more independent and find other children soon. This stage isn't forever. I know it's hard to do, but if you can find a playgroup or the like, it may help her get the interaction she needs and maybe lay off you a little.

It's also OK as a parent to set boundaries and limits and teach your kids that you are not a toy. They do need interaction and affection, but they also need to learn to play on their own and respect other people. Doubly, it's especially important that a mother of twins get some time to herself, especially if you are sick or busy. Is there a relative who can help you? A neighbor's teenager or tween who can play mother's helper?



caramateo
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 18 Sep 2007
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 282

24 Aug 2012, 12:17 am

Thanks for the advice. I wish I knew how to communicate with NT's.
To me a simple NO would do it, even my dogs know about boundaries and they are easier to deal with.
If Liane Holiday Wiley reads this please reply.
Liane has twins and she is on the spectrum.



aann
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 19 Nov 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 486

25 Aug 2012, 4:31 pm

Well this is kinda funny. I am NT and my AS son was extremely demanding. In fact, all the aspies I know were extremely clingy and insisted on constant attention. I had always thought it would be easier if I were and aspie and could understand my son.

Sorry I can't be of help.



ASDMommyASDKid
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,666

25 Aug 2012, 6:10 pm

My son was clingy and attention seeking, too. He is not social, but he does need a lot of attention.

Also he does not necessarily care if I am sick, as he still wants attention, anyway, and he is seven and autistic.

At one, kids don't really think about their mom needing a break, NT or not.



melmaclorelai
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 19 Dec 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 171
Location: On a cloud.

09 Sep 2012, 6:23 am

Perhaps it's some sort of separation anxiety? I was very clingy and needy as a child, for that reason.


_________________
"Sometimes you kind of have to die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself and become a new person." - Gerard Way.


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,256
Location: Pacific Northwest

09 Sep 2012, 8:49 am

Luckily my son is only clingy sometimes.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.


MMJMOM
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 750

09 Sep 2012, 11:00 am

my son who has aspergers was and still us very clingy. He always wanted to snuggle, play with us, interact with us, talk to us, etc.... I am NT so it wasnt hard for me at all, in fact I loved every second of it. Niave me, was even thrilled to see typical signs of dev so I could stop worrying about autism...little did I know back then what the future held for us!

Funny thing, my NT daughter was more indapendent, and LESS clingy, and LESS affectionalte then he was. But he was extreme! Now that she is 3, she is much more clingy and affectionate now. But nothing like he was. I think his was overboard and hers is just typical. My son is 7 and is still super clingy, super affectionate, hugs any and eveyrone he can. He still will love to talk us to death, loves to interact (just doesnt always do it appropriate).

good luck!


_________________
Dara, mom to my beautiful kids:
J- 8, diagnosed Aspergers and ADHD possible learning disability due to porcessing speed, born with a cleft lip and palate.
M- 5
M-, who would be 6 1/2, my forever angel baby
E- 1 year old!! !


Ravenmom
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 1 Aug 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 33
Location: Southern CA

09 Sep 2012, 12:27 pm

MMJMOM wrote:
my son who has aspergers was and still us very clingy. He always wanted to snuggle, play with us, interact with us, talk to us, etc.... I am NT so it wasnt hard for me at all, in fact I loved every second of it. Niave me, was even thrilled to see typical signs of dev so I could stop worrying about autism...little did I know back then what the future held for us!

Funny thing, my NT daughter was more indapendent, and LESS clingy, and LESS affectionalte then he was. But he was extreme! Now that she is 3, she is much more clingy and affectionate now. But nothing like he was. I think his was overboard and hers is just typical. My son is 7 and is still super clingy, super affectionate, hugs any and eveyrone he can. He still will love to talk us to death, loves to interact (just doesnt always do it appropriate).

good luck!


This is my family dynamic. My DS9 (school evaluated him this spring with result of "autistic like characteristics"- probably aspie). He is very cuddly (always has been), needs my attention constantly, has to be holding my hand or at least make sure he can see me (when out of the home). He usually wakes up asking for me - wanting cuddle time. His need for my affection and his showing of affection were the reason I really never considered him to be austic, well until we starting having problems at school. My DD6 is NT, very independent and can be cuddly but she doesn't show it nearly as much as DS. When we are out and about, she does not need me like DS does. She does get that my DS often gets more attention from me and has started to mimick DS's behavior (which really makes me mad) but I get she wants my attention, so I will make sure I do some one-on-one with her,



Shellfish
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 485
Location: Melbourne, Australia

11 Sep 2012, 3:41 am

caramateo wrote:
I have two 1year old twins and one of them exhibits neurotypical traits.
She is needy, loves attention just because even if I'm sick and busy and wants to be
on my lap at all times. Unlike her sister she prefers social interaction from
playing with toys. She always wants to talk. This is suffocating.
Any ideas on how to deal with NT kids?


The clinginess should subside as she gets older but I know of autistic kids who have separation anxiety much older (7) so it's not just NT kids.


_________________
Mum to 7 year old DS (AS) and 3 year old DD (NT)