Friends with younger kids?

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We went to the park today, and had the very opposite of our last experience.

Eldest met a nice little girl, the two of them spent a lot of time together talking and playing, and she's invited him over to her house...with her mother's approval.

Thing is, Eldest is 8. He just started 3rd grade. And this girl is 5, just starting kindergarten.

Eldest is, in a lot of ways, pretty much on the same level as a 5 year old. Emotionally, and socially, it's a pretty close fit -- one of the reasons that he's having such a hard time with his peers right now. I didn't get a chance to explain things to the girl's mother, but she didn't seem at all concerned about this older boy wanting to play with her daughter.

I'm not worried as such, other than it being yet another thing to mark him as "weird" to his peers. But I'm wondering how common this sort of friendship is with kids on the spectrum.

I was friends with people younger than me growing up but then again there was no one my age in my neighborhood.

My son (almost 11) is completely content playing with my almost 7 year old daughter. Last year at a friend's kids' birthday party where he didn't know anyone, he made "friends" with a 7 year old. My daughter often selects kids about 2 years younger than her as well.

When you think about it, developmentally, it is more appropriate.

At your son's age, my son was completely oblivious to what was age appropriate, "cool," or likely to get him teased. He is getting much better with this. It took a bit of help from me and seemed rather harsh at first because I was constantly pointing out all the "weird" things he does, but he actually liked it and reports he feels more confident at school now because he understands how to act, or at least how NOT to act if he doesn't want to get teased.

My son has always gotten along better with the younger boys. Part of it is the emotional differences. And another part, I think is that they are so excited about playing with an older boy, they overlook/maybe don't notice his quirkiness. They tend to follow his lead in play which makes for less confrontation. He likes the same toys and tv shows. They like that he knows so many cool facts about their favorite toys and tv shows. Its usually a win-win situation for us.

My Aspie daughter just does not click with girls her own age. She has always enjoyed playing with girls or boys older or younger than her. All her friends in the park are younger. Thank God the parents are not concerned about the age difference (my daughter is 12, the other girls range from 6 to 10).

Yep, same here. DS is 5 and a half and he gravitates towards kids who are either younger or also 'socially challenged'. I have two nieces, almost 4 and almost 7, and he plays a lot better with the younger one. He seems to rely on the fact that younger kids look up to him where as my older niece has commented that he's a 'bit weird'. We specifically held him back this year, and didn't start him at school and am hoping that as he will be one of the older children then his 'quirkiness' will be less noticeable.

Thru the years I understand this: Younger kids are glad an older kid wants to play with them, and are more likely to go along with the older kids ideas. My son ALWAYS gravitated towards younger kids.

Older kids are also more forgiving and understanding, and not on that peer competative level. My son also does better with older kids cause they are more likely to let him do what he wants, writing it off as he is younger.

My son does much better with younger kids because they are closer in developmental age and because my son is less pushy and domineering because he knows he is playing with "babies," (Anyone younger than him is a baby) He is more tolerant of them wanting to do things differently then how he intended plus they are more apt to follow, so it makes for a nice happy middle ground.

I don't know how it looks, but honestly my son acts so unusually around kids (especially of his same age) that this is the least of my concerns. He is oblivious to social pressure of any kind at this point, anyway. He does not behave around kids his age in ways that makes them want to play with him. Any social experience and practice is better than none, so I look at it as a real positive when he plays with younger kids.

I agree with ASD mommy, as long as he is socializing, I dont care what the age is!! !

I think it's very common, especially as your son's age. My son is the same age and his age-peers have begun using teasing, sarcasm, jokes, etc to communicate and it's all very confusing for my son. He interprets a lot of the joking/teasing as 'mean' and prefers the company of younger kids who haven't yet started communicating in that fashion. He also gets along with older kids, who tend to treat him differently than they would their age peers (kinder, more patient, etc.)

Kids on the spectrum will either go for older age groups or younger age groups. I went for younger age groups when it started to get hard for me to play with kids my own age due to their interests. My mom had a problem with it because they were all too young for me. I had always been immature for my age but it didn't stop me from playing with kids in my age range under the age of ten because we had things in common like playing with Barbies and we played with my Polly Pockets.

Now that I am an adult, it would not be appropriate for me to hang out with teens or preteens. I would maybe get bad rep for it and it be creepy.