Can Aspies/Auties adopt children?

Post Reply New Topic

What the title says...


-SpaceCase

I do not see why not. In fact, state child services departments have such a hard time adopting special needs and older children that they almost are willing to allow anyone to adopt them.

Some people might raise hell about it.

I recall watching a move when I was really little about a blind couple who were trying to adopt a child. They were having troubles though becasue govt. officals and others thought a blind couple would be unable to provide the proper and secure environment that a baby needed. This was supposedly based on a true story.

I also recall another movie where a mentally ret*d man fathered a kid, mom died in child birth and the state fought to take the kid away, also supposedly based on a true story.

Aside from all that, I find it very plausable that someone would try to stop an autie from doing so out of "concern for the wellfare of the child"

I would have thought so too scots until I met a student on my bus route whose adoptive parents should never had been allowed to adopt them. Apparently in Minnesota, social services is so deperate that only those with a record related to child abuse would be barred from adopting (and that I even wonder considering in this students case, the mother who would adopt him got in an accident that caused him to go through the windshield).

i think alot depends on where you are, and who's in charge

If the person with AS isn't too absorbed into their special obsession, like I happen to be, than I don't see why not. I'm not having a Pity Party. I'm too pre-occupied with the London Routemaster to properly care for a child. It's almost like Rain Man being too pre-occupied with Numbers to be able to relate to people. You have two completly people, with completly different problems, and one person isn't a real person. The bottom line is, that I'm too affected by my AS, to care for children, these days. I'm not crying about any shortcomings. I'm just being bluntly honest about how my adopted child and I would fare, if I were to adopt. I know this seems silly to you. I'm sure that most Aspergians would make great Foster Parents, and if that's what you want to do, I give you the Green Light.

In Scotland, or at least Edinburgh, probably not, unless the Aspies were able to hide their Aspergers REALLY well. The social services are both incredibly strict and incredibly stupid. It doesn't stop children going to bad homes- I knew a girl when I was a child who was adopted by a couple who my parents met and reckoned there was something far wrong with them. They seemed to want to have "perfect" children, and whilst the girls brother seemed able to do this, the girl wasn't (I'm not sure how, she never talked about it). They got "tired" of having her and basically neglected her. She was very needy and clung to anyone she could call a friend. By the age of 11 she was sleeping with the boys in the gang, and by her mid teens was pregnant and homeless, and was taken back in by the social services.

One of my mums friends used to foster children but gave it up thanks to the social services' adoption policy. A 10 year old boy moved in to her house on a temporary basis. He was troubled but was actually a very nice kid. The short term stay became long term, and he settled into her family and neighbourhood, settled at school and was essentially her adoptive son. When it became certain that he couldn't return to his birth parents, by which time he was in his mid teens, he was put up for adoption. My mums friend immediately applied to adopt him- it was the most obvious thing in the world to her, her family, and the social workers looking after the boy. Her case was refused point blank without any consideration by the people further up the heirarchy. Why? The boy (young man by this point) is black, she and her family are white. On a happier note, he moved back in with her when he was 18 and legally an adult.

So, in a nutshell, to adopt in Scotland at least, you'd need to convince the social services that you conformed to their notion of perfect parents (whatever that may be), you'd have to conform to whatever rules they had written down in front of them (i.e. be the same race as the kid you wanted to adopt), but once you got the kid you could pretty much do what you liked with them and no one would care.

I adopted four children. One is PDD-NOS, and I feel I'm a better parent to him than a NT would be. He is thriving, and we REALLY understand each other I know how to talk to him to make him understand things, and how to calm him down. It was a match made in heaven. My other kids are doing well too. I didn't know I was an Aspie when I adopted, but I was still the same person I am today, and the social workers had no problem approving hub and I for various adoptable children. Maybe they liked my uniqueness because we wanted to only adopt minority children (there are just too many in the foster care system) and we adopted two children from asian countries and two black US kids. But we know people who were turned down; they LIKED us.

I'm shocked that another country would bar a couple from adopting due to racial differences--not in 2006. I was always told that the US is a more racist country than those in Europe. People have been adopting interracially (overseas and in the US) since before we adopted our oldest from Hong Kong, and he's now twenty-nine years old. Wow. Eye-opening.

If they can function well enough to properly care for the children and provide the child with a good home, I do not see why they shouldn't be able to adopt if they want to.

My husband and I adopted, and he is on the spectrum as is our bio son. Our daughter is now 7 1/2, we had no problems whatsoever. She is the only uber-NT in the house which sometimes causes strife - she is quite the social butterfly - but otherwise it's a perfect situation and she's actually closer I think to her dad than to me, even tho I'm NT.

Hmm I have heard its hard for homosexuals to adopt kids in some places so my guess
the answer is more like how close you seem to a typical hetorsexual couple will be a major factor. Like how easy would it be for a single person to adopt a kid? Also
their is private adoption that $$$ talks. So if you got $100,000 or so to spend yes you
could adopt a kid.

We adopted overseas (Korea and Hong Kong, however a US agency had to approve us) and two cheap US adoptions. We didn't pay a fortune to adopt any of the kids. We don't have a fortune. Gays can and do adopt, even foster adoptions. I know a couple who has. Private adoption for "blue ribbon babies" (healthy white infants) is between the lawyer and the adoptive couple and $$$ talks, but that's not how most kids are adopted. Who has that kind of money? Most adoptions are overseas or from foster care. When we adopted overseas it didn't cost twenty grand to do it and you didn't have to fly there and live there for two weeks. We have people in the US who do this just to get a white child in Russia, even though the kids tend to be problematic (lots of fetal alcohol or alcohol syndrome children). The US *used* to say, "black kids belong in black families", but I give us credit--they now realize that, if there aren't enough black families for the kids who wait, the children need a loving family most of all. That old excuse doesn't work anymore here. I know LOTS of folks who are white and have adopted kids of color.

My husband and I are in the process of adopting right now. We haven't started any of the "Homestudy" personal interviews etc yet... it'll be interesting to see what happens with that. I'm also kinda curious about what our references said about me (2 friends and 2 relatives). I'm self-dx'd with AS and I'm not going to say anything about it, but I'm sure the adoption people will see traits leaking out here and there...

The worst part of the homestudy for me was remembering why I left certain jobs. And for hubby same thing - he left one job because he was exposed to chemicals and became hypersensitive - they then worried he wouldn't be able to stand cleanliness!

Our adoption cost about $3,000 total - we went through a local agency. I know that if you adopt a child with special needs you can get most of what you pay back on your taxes. We got most of what we paid back and our child wasn't identified as special needs.

You just have to watch out for the sharks out there - looking to part you from your money and not interested at all in the welfare of the child or getting a child placed.