Organizing

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Parents, do you find teaching your autistic, LD, ADD, any form of disability children how to organize their bedroom, make bed, fold clothes, or hang clothes harder than teaching your NT children? I believe not knowing how to organize well due to the aspergers is an excuse where as children who don't have any disability should know better.

My aspie son is more neat than my ADD daughter.

Funny, I think of her as NT, though she is very ADD.

I have a cousin who's 13 who is living with my parents and I. She's NT. I remember when I was her age how my parents had to at times clean up after me but I have a excuse due to my difficulty understanding communication. She doesn't have that excuse. Her younger sister however, who's 10 is ADD and has autism. If Sunny was here living with us and messing up room then it's ok I think. Jenny is my mom's sister's grand daughter. Mom is Korean. I did over time learn to fold my clothes, hang them nearly in closet, and make bed, but Jenny makes the bed in a terrible manner. How come I did it at 13 and she can't? She leaves my bathroom a mess too. Ugh its annoying but June 2014 she's gone.

Have you told your cousin directly that her leaving the bathroom a mess bothers you? If not, try to say something about it at a time when you are both calm (I mean don't bring it up in the heat of an argument or when she is obviously upset about something). You might think about asking your Mom if you feel your cousin is not being held to the same standards you were at that age for things like keeping her bedroom neat. I know my older (NT) son points out to me when he thinks there is a double-standard happening. Often he is right and I haven't noticed that I am asking different things of the 2 boys and I need to be more fair.

my 7yo AS son is extremely disorganized, never cared for order, never lined things up, to this day is a disorganized mess. I have no idea how to help him, I try daily. I ask him to look around and pick up things that dont belong...like his underwear on the floor in the livingroom, his shoes on the couch, etc... he loses everything and cant find anything even if its staring him in the face.

my 3yo NT daughter is extremely organized, I never had to teach it, she just likes things to be neat and in order. She will clean up, after she gets dressed she will put her PJs away, or hand them to me, she likes her toys neat and will put them back when done, she also remembers where she put things last, etc... completely different personalities.

Executive functioning skills (organizational skills) vary widely from person to person. Each person has an individual approach to keeping things organized, and while you can try different strategies, none of them are going to work until you find the one that individual needs.

Everybody needs to learn to live as a community and respect each others' space (which often means being organized and cleaning.) I don't think a disability gives you an "excuse," not to do that, just that you may need to find a different strategy.

Jenny is just going to a Catholic school near by us till June 2014 when she's out of the house! Then off to some boarding school. She resides in Seoul. It's like $7000 a year at this Catholic school for international fee. About the bedroom, yes mom has told her to make her bed, hang clothes, pick up hairs on bathroom floor. But Jenny is NT! She has better social skills than I did at her age. She can communicate and understand things better than me. Mom probably told me a lot more times to make my room clean as a teen, but I did it eventually. I always believe that children with LD or autism would be slower to learn than NT children. At least I thought that about myself. I would think how come I can't do what NT people can. Oh but then how come they can't do what I can do? NTs have no excuse to be messy! If Sunny was here it would be more acceptable for her to be messy. It's just rude I think when Jenny leaves the bedroom a mess since this isn't her house at all. My parents are getting paid by her parents to take care of her! Oh but not just the messy behavior, its the eating too. But that's a whole another story. I have told Jenny multiple times to please put the towels back in laundry room after shower is done, but she doesn't do it! Is she a moron??!

NTs come with different strengths and weaknesses, just as those with AS do. Some NT's are neat, some are not, and those who are not can have a whole list of different reasons behind it: lack of interest, lack of ability, exhaustion, other priorities, mild mental illnesses, etc.

It isn't fair to assume that just because someone doesn't have an AS diagnosis, all sorts of things must naturally be easier for them. It varies quite a bit.