Motivating a child with LIMITED likes to explore and play

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My son has only TWO likes - music and candy. He is NOT interested in the least in anything or anyone else. Both currently serve as his reinforcers.

He does not like toys and will not play with even musical ones, despite being a music fanatic. I am wondering if there are very natural ways to get him to explore his environment more and get him interested in toys. Please share anything that has worked for you or for someone you know that will help me help him increase his repertoire of interests.

Thanks ! !

What kind of music? How does he get the music? Does he like anything related to music? Will he only listen or will he watch a show/concert with music he likes? Does he move with the music?

Does he only eat the candy? Does he sort the candy? Does he like candy boxes/wrappers? Does he like info about candy?

What comes to my mind are sensory experiences. You could fill a bucket with rice and maybe hide some small treats in it so he has to dig through it go find the treats. If he likes that you could try other similar things like gak, shaving cream, playdough...

That's all I can come up with tonight.

He loves classical music - Mozart, Vivaldi, Bach etc. The strange thing is that he will not play at our keyboard - he bangs on it and realizes that it does make music, but then loses interest in it within 2 minutes of banging, He cries when we attempt to make him sit longer. He watches a lot of YouTube music videos and previously did move with the music, but not anymore. He also does not tolerate concerts and it appears that he only likes to watch classical music videos on TV or on YouTube.



Unfortunately, all he likes to do are eat the candy and that is it. I tried to use candies to teach him matching games but it is no avail. He just grabs them, puts them in his mouth and walks away.

I am at my wits' ends. He got some great toy presents for his birthday that I would love for him to play with. My real concern is that he does not seem to want to explore his environment - do you have any ideas to help him get curious about things ?

Wow, that is a GREAT idea - to hide small treats in rice or beans, so he has to dig through them to find those treats. Play dough is a problem for us as he mouths it. What is gak, BTW ?

Thanks !

Does your keyboard have music presets on it? If so, have you tried that?

I wonder if he will play with toys where you press a button and it plays music. He may not like pounding on the keyboard because his music does not sound like real music. If your keyboard does not have music preset buttons, you can take him to Guitar Center or somewhere, where you live, that has musical instruments, and you can test this by going to the keyboard section. The electronic keyboards there should have preset songs, you can play with a button. Many of them are classical. You can do your test right in the store, and see if he likes it.

There are cheaper toys for children that do similar things. My son had a $5 plastic toy that looked like a guitar but was just a plastic toy with buttons that played small parts of "songs." I don't know if this would be sufficient or if you would have to get him a small cheap keyboard with presets, but it is something to think about as a start.

Gak
http://www.stevespanglerscience.com/experiment/glue-borax-gak

When you mix a little bit of borax with elmer's glue it turns into a gelatinous substance that many kids find fun to play with. IT feels cool and squishy, not necessarily appealing to all kids. However if you have a problem with him putting playdough in his mouth, you probably don't want to try this because it really wouldn't be good to ingest much of it.

For a birthday party one time i filled a big box with packing peanuts and hid toys in with them. I cut a whole in the top of the box and the kids had to dig through the peanuts to find the prizes. Speaking of packing material, would he/does he enjoy popping bubble wrap? I'm just trying to think of some other sensory type things that don't involve traditional toys.

One of the things my son really liked at the preschool was this; the teacher took a mirror, like one of those kinda cheap long skinny ones you can get at Target or Walmart and laid it flat on a table. Then she took a set of colored shaped tiles like these http://www.melissaanddoug.com/pattern-blocks-and-boards-learning-game and spread them out on the mirror. For some reason, manipulating the colored tiles and making designs and shapes with them was far more fascinating when working on top of the mirror.

If I think of anything else, I'll post again.

This was one of our favourite toys- Mozart cube http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/b412/
It plays the different parts from several different compositions, and may catch his attention given his interests.

How old is your son?

You know, your son sounds very similar to mine. Mine is 4 and still does not play with toys much. Unfortunatley I don't think there is much you can do there, you can't really force someone to be interested in something.

We eventually found a few items my son likes. My son is obsessed with numbers and can usually be found carrying a magnetic doodle board so he can write his numbers (and occasional letters or pictures.)

Mine likes music too, we got him an electronic keyboard and a half-scale acoustic guitar. He loves both and will bang on them, "playing" and singing. I never encouraged this or anything, he became interested after seeing my own instruments as I am an ameature musician. Maybe your son is not so interested because he can't make the same music as what he likes?

I'd suggest looking into DIR/Floortime, and the books by the late Stanley Greenspan. Their approach is all about starting from what currently interests the child, and using that to make a connection and expand to more interests. Although we didn't need it for my son, I was impressed by what I read about it.

That's a good idea zette

Yeah, I think the key really is interaction.

I'm wondering, even as a non-parent, if kids can be turned off to stuff they would otherwise enjoy if they see it as "work" (e.g. parents putting pressure on kids to be "interested" in more things)?

I can't will myself to be interested in something I'm not. What I can do is try new things and see if I like them. It may take 1,000 tries to find one new interest, but it's one more thing than before! I can also put up with something I'm not interested in for a time, but it doesn't make me any more interested in it.

That is the awesome thing about this forum, people come here to get new ideas of things to try. Sometimes as a parent coming up with new ideas is TOUGH! We want our kids to have fun, not work all the time

Thank you all so much for responding. He currently gets the ESDM (Early Start,Denver Model) version of ABA. I will implement some of these ideas and see how far it gets me. I am looking into floor time, too, but so far ESDM and Floortime seems very similar to me. Is this correct ? If not, then could you explain the differences to me ? Thank you all so much again !

I would also suggest you let him be assessed by a sensory integration occupational therapist to plot down his sensory profile....Very tactile defensive kids will not easily explore their environment....if they have the intelectual ibility?
Also kids with sensory integration problems might have motor planning problems, that make them very " rigid" in exploring....
Once this is done, the OT could maybe advice you on a " sensory diet".... This is a program that includes activities that will help your child modulate his sensory experience and can be very helpfull.
Otherwise....have a look into 2 books: "The out of sync child". And " the out of sync child can have fun"....sorry dont have all the info on the books with me now...Or just google sensory integration disfunction.