DD is NT but I still need to help her with a problem

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My youngest is 16 and NT (I am the aspie in the family). She is heavy. Very, very heavy. She's tried to lose weight, she's tried everything but can't stick to it and no matter what I do, I can't make her stick to it. She wants this. She's come to me crying because she wants to be thin. She's about 250 right now, but do not write her off, she's beautiful and she rocks it. However, I want to help her achieve her goal so when the PT place opened up membership to regular people I bought her one. It's about 2 blocks distance from the high school and they have all kinds of stuff. She actually loves working out with stuff like treadmills and nautilus etc, but hates walking and doing situps at home. She can go there on her way home from school. I think that when she starts seeing results she will be more motivated. I'm also changing the food I cook here.

Basically, I want to ask what other parents have found helpful if they have dealt with an overweight teen who wants to lose but doesn't want to go through anything that isn't fun. The gym though, that's fun to her. Maybe she's crazy, I don't know, cause I hate the gym. Either way I think it would help her.

Tips from other parents please if you have been through this? It hurts so much to see her cry about how she looks. She's in one or two of the pics of Halloween Fun i Members Only with me and my Bestie when we dressed up and took pics.

grapefruit in the morning helps her body use energy more productivly, and the seeds are good for your digestive tract(one of the many prob. w/ obisedy is a bad digestive system)
eat many times out of the day
eat fruit on an emty stomach
only eat if you feel like you need to(this one seems eazy but it's an additude, it's too eazy to just take what is offered to you)
stop DRINKING ALL POP AND HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SURUP
activity.

Hello - I battle my weight too. My heaviest peaked at about 280 lbs. I have recently begun the journey to weight loss again too. My weight sits about 174 now. I am exercise intolerant, but have found a new way of eating that causes you to be less hungry and more satisfied with smaller meals and is very healthy.

Have you heard of fast and slow carb combinations to burn fat and be more efficient? Learn about this here:

http://www.livestrong.com/article/29297 ... ast-carbs/

and a bit here:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index ... 534AAUo87p

It is working very good for me... hope it does for you too.

I found group exercise classes to be wonderful. They are taught by certified people and once you get to know the people you'll begin to feel a little shame if you skip.

I went from 240 to 215.

The other trick is to find the exercises you like. I HATE running with a passion, but the exercise bicycle is fun.

eat real food, not processed and fast food or eat less. that alone will drop her weight you dont even have to exercise to do it. I used to weigh close to that. stopped drinking soda and eating fast food. im down to 210. the maintenance calories at that weight are huge. you need to eat around 3k calories a day to maintain that weight. in highly processed food thats nothing but in real food that is a mountain of food.

Two rules only:

1. Eat less.

2. Exercise more.

Weight Watchers helped me drop 30 pounds by teaching me about proper nutrition, and not some faddish fruit diet, either.

Breakfast is a ham-and-cheese sandwich, a piece of fruit, and a cup of black coffee.

Lunch is a variation on breakfast, or a $2.00 "Healthy Choice" meal.

Supper is a single piece of lean meat (no larger than the palm of my hand), brown rice, veggies, and fruit for dessert.

No snacking.

30 pounds in 1 year.

Worth it.

I'm definately changing the diet around here starting Monday. I've informed everybody of that. We eat the typical Southern diet of fried foods, lots of pork products, and I also cook a lot of pasta and cheesy foods. That's gonna stop. Not only will it help her lose weight, but it will help my husbands high cholesterol and blood pressure and my oldest daughter cant eat much fatty foods because she had her gallbladder out a few years ago. I don't know much about cooking healthy, so I've got a lot of sites bookmarked to use recipes from there.

This is a basic run-down of supper at the Fnord residence:

1 plate per person per meal.

1/4 of each plate: 1 serving of lean meat, especially skinless chicken or fish, no larger than the palm of your hand.
1/2 of each plate: 1 serving of high-fiber vegetables.
1/4 of each plate: Brown rice or high-fiber bread (Ezekiel brand is my favorite).

Drink water, fruit juice, tea or coffee (no cream or sugar).

Dessert is fresh fruit -- all you can eat.

----------

Vegetable oils only.
Fresh or fresh-frozen foods only.
Meats are baked, broiled, or pan-fried (in 1 tbsp of Olive oil).
Veggies are steamed or microwaved.
Seasoning are "Mrs. Dash", garlic powder, curry powder, pepper, lemon juice, and others without salt.

No animal fats - no Crisco or lard, and no deep-frying.
No canned foods.
No salt.
No sodas, diet or otherwise.
No alcohol, "Lite" or otherwise.
No sugar (no more "Sweet Tea").

My husband's doctor recommended the Zone diet, and I have to say it is healthy and really does curb the sugar cravings that make you want to eat and eat and eat. I would suggest seeing if she would be willing to read it and help you change your family's way of eating. The more she is in charge of picking out the meal and snacks, even learning to cook healthy, the more she will buy-in and follow the plan (instead of resisting something you try to make her do.)

Eat healthy. You might consider enrolling them in (or having them audit) a diet/exercise oriented health class at the local community college. Generally, they teach you good exercise habits and educate you about diet.

1. No junk food at all.
1. Cut back back on sugars, simple carbs, and starches. Basically unused sugars/ carbs (energy) gets turned into fat. Also, when you need more energy fat is burned.
3. Limit processed food.
4. Lots of green vegetables and salad (preferably with nothing on it).
5. Drink water instead of juice or milk. You probably need some milk, but it has a high sugar content. Juice tends to have a lot of sugar, and is so processed these days it probably isn't healthy unless you squeeze it.
6. Don't assume a snack is healthy. Look up the amount of carbs/fat and eat appropriate amounts.

So basically, eat healthy and get all the garbage out of your diet. With exercise, start walking as a family every night, and go places that require some exercise. If she likes the gym a lot, she's on her way.

I was a very obese teen myself.

Honestly, there is not much you can do other than educate her. Beyond that, she has to really want to do it and she has to come to terms with the fact that there is no easy way out and it will not be over night. Until I woke up, decided I was worth something, and accepted the fact that I had a long road ahead, I couldn't lose an ounce. After that? I went from 200 to 110 (I'm 4'10) 10 years and 2 kids later I'm 120 (and working on losing some). I'll never be that big again. You have to want it for yourself, it's the only way.

I lost about 40 lbs once I got myself committed to the idea that it would take diet AND exercise to actually lose weight. I'm stuck at 175 and have been for about 10 months because I like to eat junk food a little too much. I've been trying to stay happy with the fact that I am very fit and generally happy with the way I look.

Here are my tips:

1. track food consumption. Even if she doesn't track the calories in what she eats, sometimes writing it down is an eye opener!! There are studies that show that just keeping a food journal helps with weight loss. she may need to track calories just for a little bit to get an idea of how much food is the right amount for weight loss!!

2. Find exercise she likes!! I found group fitness classes to be wonderful. ONce I got over being intimidated by it, I became a regular. And, I had to find things I liked. I'm not super coordinated, so dancy aerobic classes aren't great for me. I love classes that combine strength training with interval cardio. They are really efficient for burning calories and they switch up a lot so you don't get bored. The names of my favorite classes have been "Interval Sculpt" which is like "Body Pump" or a "Boot Camp" or something like that and "Cardio Bag" which is a kickboxing class that is NOT choreographed and actually uses a bag... I LOVE it... some gyms call it "Fight Club"

Since finding the exercise I LIKE, I've branched out and actually enjoy running now.. which is CRAZY. I always hated running, but I'm going to run a half marathon in a week. I am 37 now and I really wish I had found my inner athlete as a teen. I didn't realize that being fit was something available to everyone... even if you aren't into team sports!!

She may also enjoy some martial arts. ONce they get to sparring and things like that, it's a really good workout! She can supplement it with her preferred gym machines.

Also, I hired a personal trainer to help me learn how to work out. You can't just walk into the gym and figure it out... we all need to learn how to exercise in a gym.

Good luck!! I worry about my own kids, but they are still young. I worry because they are picky eaters and I let them eat garbage more than i should....

It helps for kids to have the whole family involved, so it is about health, not about pointing fingers at the one person who needs to lose weight. If everyone is working hard to eat healthier and exercise, then it is a family event and easier for the person who needs to lose weight.

Good point. We do family hikes and we would do family bike rides if my 6 year old could crank a bike!! Maybe when he's older!

I wanted to say, too, that cookinglight.com has a lot of great recipes. I go there and look all of the time.. they even have good 30 minute meals.

My oldest daughter is in culinary school in college and this semester she has to take a nutrtion class. She said she will help me figure out meal plans etc.

I'm excited about the gym and today is her first day going there after school. I'll post and let you all know how it went.

Thanks for the advice everybody.

I managed to lose 30-35 in 4 months. My way of really quick weight loss was some calorie restriction, but basically, you gotta find an athletic activity you like, and do it everyday. I did diet, basically in a similar way to Fnord, but with more food, basically, I didn't cut out carbs completely but kept them to a minimum, ate fruits and veggies basically whenever I felt like it, and ate lots of leaner cuts of meat. My carb cutting consisted of using like, an 80 calorie pita instead of a burger bun or bread, even calories discounted, the pita was healthier due to no high fructose corn syrup (check most bread, HFC.) I went from 210 or 215 when I started ice skating, down to 180, now I'm 195 with the same bodyfat (17-20%) from weightlifting. I also about 3-4x a week besides skating did punching bag work for cardio. Wanna get down to 180 again with my new muscle mass. So that's my current project, and life and mental states have gotten in the way of it some.

Also, I did cheat a bit with a good deal of caffeine to speed the metabolism up my first time, not pills, just honestly sugared energy drinks and coffee. This time I'm trying to keep my caffeine intake sorta low, I do take ginseng now in the morning, though a low dose. The caffeine and ginseng is more to just help me mentally with my NVLD and executive functioning, though. My metabolism I think is naturally fairly good, though, I won't give myself "slow metabolism" excuses at all, now my metabolism is even better from weightlifting. Yay for mesomorph genetics.

Here's what I am going to state is the only sustainable plan for staying healthy. Find a sport or physical activity of some sort, and do it as often as possible, if possible everyday. Skating is my sport I chose. Skating burns 700 calories per hour, I skate an hour a day. The reason I recommend this is because it's natural for humans. Exercising just for the sake of exercising isn't natural. The problem is, if you have self image issues beyond just how you look, you don't see exercise and dieting as going to fix them. But even besides that, how does your exercise relate to anything else you do that day? If all you do all day is go on youtube on the computer, then why exercise if it's not gonna help you with your daily activities of going on the computer?

But the difference comes when you find a sport or activity you really like. Then you do that sport, and do other exercises to train for that sport. And instead of exercise just being done for your own vanity or for just the sake of a vague notion of being healthy, it then becomes "training." And then instead of "exercising" it becomes "training" and training is more fun and much more purposeful and specific than vague "exercising."

As far as the sport, the sky is the limit for sports. For me, I oddly happened to take up figure skating, which is a super odd choice for a 20 year old male to start, but I do it anyway. Basically, ask her if she could pick any sport to do, what would she do? ANY sport, even niche/odd sports, like, I dunno, rowing or something. Then get her trying out that sport, and hopefully if she likes it and sticks to something, then get her playing/doing that sport as often as possible. The other positive about a sport is that, the emphasis is not on your weight or aesthetics or whatever, only your performance, but the weight loss and aesthetics are easy to get while training for a sport, but it's a big pressure relief in that sense, too, that some pressure is off just by looking at it from a different angle.

But this I think is the only sustainable path to exercise, it's the only thing that worked for me, both as a little kid (having sports to keep me occupied) and as an adult. There'll be good days and bad days with it, too, I've gone some weeks without skating due to my personal life getting in the way, so it'll be rocky sometimes, but it teaches you to set goals, achieve them, etc. But unlike just exercise by itself, even if let's say, you do gain weight, you still have the actual sport you're doing to come back to. Since your daughter is an NT, she might even make friends and stuff in whatever sport she chooses.

I have a separate post I could give about nutrition, nutrition can be variable, but Fnord's meal plan recommendations are fairly reasonable, imo. In my case I eat more animal fat, and more food in general, though. A multivitamin and fish oil are a good place to start supplementwise, too. One other SUPER important variable is quality sleep and lots of it. Don't let your daughter stay up til 1am and go to school the next morning, recipe for failure. I know in my case, I have a crazy appetite if I don't sleep much/well, but when I get good sleep, suddenly I'm "full" much faster. Sleep is super important, make sure she gets AT LEAST 8 hours sleep every night. Without good sleep, you're minimizing every exercise/diet effort you try.