What's the deal with water in the face?

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Moondust, this is related to your other post, so if you don't see this soon, I'll try to alert you.

Why? What is the reason for the problem with water on your face? My daughter has a really huge issue with this and I am not certain she can explain why, so I can never figure out what exactly to do. I am concerned she will never be able to shower on her own or put her face in the water to swim.

Can you give me any insight?

This is more of a survival instinct that is heightened in some. Just look at it this way - almost all of your primary senses are in your face - your eyes, your mouth, your lips (which are one of the most active "touch-sense" areas of your body) - and most importantly, your airways. Water can act as a massive on-slot to these sense. In my experience, even rain water in the eyes can be pretty painful and stings a lot. It is also very hard to breath in water, and you technically cannot go for very long without air - there is even a torture device that is designed to simulate drowning that mostly involves pouring water over someone's face over and over again (you can actually do it in a shower).

A lot of animals do not like getting their own faces wet either (horses are a good example of this - they will struggle to keep their heads above water when they swim, and you usually do not want to splash water on their face when you are washing them or they could panic - that is what sponges are for). So technically, it is perfectly normal,

I really dislike water on my face. When I swim I keep my face out the water, and I avoid people who splash water around. I don't go swimming very often.

I can shower, and I just keep my face turned away from the water. My face does get wet, but the jet of water doesn't touch it. I prefer baths.

It does have a lot to do with the smothering sensation of not being able to breathe. But for me, it's also just the feeling of being wet. I loathe being wet in any circumstance. A wet face couples the revolting feeling of being wet with the smothering sensation of not being able to breathe. And who says your daughter has to take a shower OR swim? Have her try taking baths instead. Once I figured this out, life got much better. You can wash your entire body, including your hair, without ever having to get your face wet. And I can't swim, but I couldn't care less about that. Swimming pools are one of the worst assaults on my sensory issues. Not only does it involve getting your face wet, you have to smell the nauseating chlorine, an odor that literally makes me gag. According to my mother, I dropped out of swimming class at age 4 because I refused to get my face wet. Happy to say that it's been over 12 years since I last was in a swimming pool, and I honestly hope that I never have to get in a pool ever again. Even if you want to have your daughter learn to swim as a survival mechanism, she can always just learn how to doggie paddle, a method that doesn't require immersion of the face.

Thanks for the feedback, everyone.

I feel bad for her, though, because she likes to go in the pool, but then she gets upset if anyone splashes. One summer we went on one of the "lazy river" rides at a water park--there's no way she could do a slide--and if she would have been any larger, she would have completely capsized our tube because she went into complete panic mode when someone splashed her, but she really wanted to go on the ride. She went from panic mode from water in her face to meltdown mode when I made her get out. It's hard for me when she struggles like that: she wants to do something, but can't.

Right now the shower works because she holds a wash cloth over her face. A bath does not work very well for her because she has long, thick, curly hair and it is extremely difficult to get the shampoo out of it.

Here's another question...every summer she says that "next summer" she is going to put her face in the water so she can "really swim." I never hold her to her word, of course, but is there anything I can do to help her do this when she decides she really wants to do it? Her brother is seriously a little fish and I know that she would like to join him, she just can't because of her fear of having water in her face.

DS 6 taught himself to swim this past summer. The year before I had signed him up for swim lessons and it didn't work out. This summer, he decided he wanted to do it and just tried and tried until he got it. I stayed with him and encouraged him but didn't push. If she is able to get over her fear/discomfort, she will but in her own time.

I am not moondust, but my daughter has the same issue. She has never explained to me why and I have never asked, but she gets terrified of getting her face under the water. When she was little it was worst: she wold not place her face under the shower or put her face in the water to swim. Now she is 12 and now she washes her face (briefly) and can put her face in the water to swim for shorts periods of time. She can even jump into the pool! So I guess it gets better with time. Just do not pressure her too much so she does not get fixated.

What do you mean, "what's the deal with water in the face"?! I just don't understand how anyone can like it. Even before someone tried to drown me, I couldn't stand it, because of all the wet on my face and the less-conscious fear of drowning and the water getting in my nose and eyes...it's just horrible. It's one of the worst sensory experiences I can have, even superceding being touched without warning or smelling horrible smells (although if I can't get away from the touch or the smell that is worse).

Phew, I'm lucky I got here only now, because I had no idea of the reason why. Others have explained it so well, I've learnt something about myself! Indeed, it's the feeling of being wet, which I hate, coupled with the huge fear of not being able to breathe. I suffer from mild claustrophobia, but as a child it was very pronounced. I think this may be at the core of the wet face and submersion difficulties.

As a child, I thought I was just being difficult and had to toughen up. As a young adult, I attributed it to childhood abuse, because it's a trait of abuse survivors. But when I discovered AS, it made perfect sense.

Marcia, I thought I was the only human on Earth who showered with her face away from the jet of water. This may seem funny, but it makes a world of a difference to know I'm not alone in the shower anymore! I had kept this secret for 50 years! I could never understand the commercials where the person has this look of bliss while getting the jet of water fully on the face. Aaargh.

For me, showering is a punishment. I keep a towel in the shower to wipe my eyes if soap gets into them, because it makes me suffer a lot. I've developed, through the decades, coping ideas to help me alleviate the experience of showering and compensate for the trouble (see my post in "I hate being the mother my son needs"), and right now, as I type, as usual, I'm postponing going to work because I don't want to shower.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention: I don't swim. I took many classes as a child, but to this day I ask people if they can explain to me how they enjoy an activity that makes them submerge their faces. All I said about the shower is strong discomfort - submerging my head, however, is an impossibility. Not being able to breathe. How can people endure this and call it a hobby?!

I love swimming with my head above the surface and floating face up when I go to a resort hotel with a lovely pool, but I don't go to the beach because I have extreme sensory issues with strong sun, sand, as well as the swimming issue. I want to emphasize that, ironically, I'm very, very mildly impaired in the sensory issues area of AS.

At age 50 I discovered what's probably the AS version of the NT swimming and showering: WATSU. I never felt so well in my life as after that session.

I don't think it's a good idea to try and change this, it's just the way we are, and it doesn't have a big repercussion on our life. What has a big detrimental effect is being blamed, shamed, ridiculed and accused of being dirty for it, as I was by my family forever. However, satisfactory hygiene is the very abc for work and social life, so this must be ingrained in the child.

Sorry for going on so long, but I wish my mother had asked me. I had to wait with this secret for 50 years till someone actually cared enough to ask rather than blame and shame. A healing experience.

It's a SENSORY ISSUE.

People on the spectrum (and others) can have specific heightened sensitivities so that some sensations are unbearable to them. For some it's the feel of certain clothes. With others it's some sounds. Still others have water (and other things) on the face. That's about as much of a "why" as I think you'll get.

Oh and about jumping into the water...that'd be torture for me. I couldn't believe my colleagues doing it from the cruise we were in, I thought they must be crazy!!

I've seen on TV there's a swimming style where you're supposed to keep your face above water. Could be a solution for a child who wants to swim but has my same problem...

DS gets really upset if he gets water on his face which is fair enough, and understandable but...it means that he hasn't progressed at all with swimming lessons. We tried breast-stroke because there is less water on the face but now he is distracted by the clock and keeps asking the time. I know, all in his own time..

My daughter's reactions to water are odd. She's a great swimmer and learned to swim underwater first. She has no problem whatsoever with getting her face wet. But, then she'll go into the shower and will hardly let the water get on her face. I have a tough time encouraging her to stand under the shower enough to get her hair rinsed. When she brushes her teeth and leaves some toothpaste around her mouth, I'll wet a couple of fingers and try to rub it off. She squirms away, as if I'm torturing her.

When I was little I had an issue with washing my face. As I was splashing water up, the water would run down my arms and drip from my elbows. I absolutely hated this sensation. As I got taller, this was no longer an issue, but I still remember how it made me feel.

Not necessarily. I have hated water in my face/getting wet since birth, and I am now 25 and have the same intensity of aversion. Yes, sensory issues can lessen as a child gets older, but that's not a guarantee.

And, Mummy_of_Peanut, I don't think your daughter's reactions to water are odd at all. Your daughter probably doesn't like the sensation of the water jets in the shower. She likes to swim, so for her, she probably doesn't mind fully immersing her face in water, so long as it's an even pressure. But water jets in showers can feel prickly and sharp like cactus needles. Showers with high water pressure are doubly awful for me, because I have to deal with getting bombarded with the prickly water jets AND getting wet in general. And yes, feeling the water drip off of you is another reason getting wet is such an awful feeling for me. When I'm getting a bath, so long as I don't get my face wet, I don't mind it. But it's the transition from getting out of the tub and getting dry that is just vile. It makes me shudder just thinking about it! I hate the feeling of my wet hair slapping and dripping against my skin.

Here's my water sensory issue hierarchy, starting at most severe:

Having to be in a downpour without umbrella where rain is so bad it drenches my face/Water rides at amusement parks that completely drench you > Getting my face wet without the rest of my body being drenched > Walking in wet clothes/pants > Walking in wet shoes (without wet clothes) > Getting out of tub/drying off from bath > Getting mildly splashed with raindrops or something wet brushing against my dry skin

My son's issues with water have improved over time. When he was a baby he howled so much when we bathed him, I had to resort to wiping him all over with wet wipes. He would willingly kick his feet in water and we could carry him into a pool, but he hated the sensations of baths.

He is seven now. We got him to allow baths a few years ago, but then of course he would just soak in it, He does not really like being actively cleaned. He hates shampooing the most, although recently he has started rinsing his hair himself, by pouring water over his head. This is very new. We use tear free shampoo, so it is not awful if it gets on his face. He used to hate it anyway, but now he thinks it is fun. He still does not like washing his face, but poring stuff over his head is Ok with him. It is sensory and I think the rubbing with water is just still really problematic. I also think he feels better about it when he is control of it, even if it is controlled chaos.

Note: I did not push him (which is part of why it took so long) but I am glad I didn't because I would rather that he feel good about what is going on, then be forced into it.

Oh my, I had forgotten normal people actually splash their own faces every morning! I take some water in my hands and rub my face a bit with it, then clean my eyes thoroughly.