What's up with this "eye contact" thing!?

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Sorry, I know this is an old topic....But this stereo type really gets to me!

I started watching a movie last night where a little boy and an older man is playing the part of people on the spectrum.....

They made so very sure that non of them almost EVER make eye contact!
My oldest son is diagnosed with Aspie " lite", he makes good eye contact....yes in unfimiliar situations the quality is not that good, like duration, appropriateness exct, but during speech festivals and friends and family, not knowing, you will say its perfect!

How does your family with AS present....is it really like in the films!? Because if thats the case, my sons diagnosis is way off!! !!

Yeah, I mean, I've seen some topics on here where quite a few people chimed in saying it wasn't that big of a deal for 'em and therefore, I do think it's pretty unfair that poor eye-contact is often perceived as standby for Asperger's and I'd hate to think that NT's would critique the validity of someone's AS diagnosis simply because they can look them in the eye.

I've heard it's painful for some people. For me it's just something I don't think to do often. Sometimes I'll naturally give "eye contact" (Looking at some part of the face), but eye contact tends to die miserably with men around 40+.

I have heard someone on the spectrum explaining being forced to make eye contact as the equivalent of being sexually molested (his words, not mine) so I certainly don't think it's something people do because they just 'can't be bothered with it' but on the other hand my son makes wonderful eye contact with people in the family and is close with - far more difficult for him with other people.

With my AS husband and daughter its a learnt thing, forced, slightly off but its there and anyone would be convinced there were no problems so you have to look closely But then Im NT and I dont like eye ontact either, its not easy to do as some people really stare right into your brain and dont blink others flick from eye to eye to a prop like a bit of paper or their hands or something. I find its like a hand shake, everyone does it differently and not everyone is compatible anyway, ASD or not!

i have a problem with eye contact. i do not feel that i am the same as others and i will not look at their eyes because i do not have any curiosity about them or "what they can reveal".

how can eyes (that can not even talk) reveal anything? i see eyes as just organs that other people see visual things through and and eyes are like ears to me. they are just sensory organs which transmit information to the witnesses brains.

i feel uncomfortable when i decide to inspect a persons eye because they take it as a an indication that i am interested in them and they modify their behavior forthwith, but all i wanted to do is look at their eye for reasons that are not necessarily flattering to them.
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I am NT and I am not big on eye contact. I feel the need to look away every few seconds. I think it seems natural to some people but I only like looking into the eyes of my family. It's not painful or anything like that though. My 3 yo ASD son makes good eye contact with family. However, with others, it depends on the mood he is in and if he wants to tell them something. He seems to naturally associate looking at someone to get their attention. When I chastise him, if he is a little upset he will look away from me. If he is very upset, he will look in my eyes.

Don't look to Hollywood for accurate representations of anything.

Their mission is to entertain, not to educate.

I think Mr. Xxx is right.

That being said, the eye contact thing is different and has a different set of drivers for different people on the spectrum. Meaning, to give some examples, I never really noticed that DS had eye contact issues until somebody pointed it out to me - but he isn't uncomfortable looking you in the eye, he just gets distracted easily. A girl at his school (whose status I don't know) never looks anybody in the eye, ever - but for her, it's not that she's distracted - it is very clearly painful for her to do so.

I am guessing these are two broad categories, but there are probably other reasons for eye contact differences. Media like to focus on the people who find it painful and refuse to do it even when asked, as they are more "alien" to NTs and easier to "other." This makes for dramatic storytelling about magical, unreal creatures. It doesn't exactly help autistic people, but it sells movies.

I can do it, but I focus better when I don't. My son can do it with those he knows relatively well, but I think it is at least somewhat uncomfortable as he does not do it as often as I think he would if it were not at least somewhat uncomfortable.

A lot of people on the spectrum have a difficult time with eye contact, not everyone though. An AS diagnoses cannot really be made or un-made simply based on eye contact.

l don't like it. It is way too intimate and brings unleasent feelings. Feels like shame, like trespassing or being trespassed on. I stare at mouths, ears, or behind or through the person to get around it. Forehead sometimes, but sometime sit is too close to the eyes. LAtely I've gotten lazy though. I know I'm looking somewhere totally off base, but have given up caring. My daughter has a hard time with it too. I don't push it because I know how it feels for me. I just ask her to look at my mouth so I can make sure she is paying attention because often she is not and I can't tell otherwise. She may or may not be, but if she makes an effort to look at some part of my person, then I know she is.

Well I don't have an official diagnosis or anything but eye contact makes me feel uncomfortalbe. And the longer it lasts, the more uncomfortalbe it gets.

It is not true that autistic people never ever look anyone in the eye, even accidentally. Perhaps there are some autistic people like this, but I can make eye contact if I remember to do it on purpose. It doesn't make me uncomfortable. I usually inspect people's faces when I am totally bored with what they are saying. I find that inspecting their faces closely blocks off the noise of their talking, which is what I want to do.

Straight up, eye contact hurts. It's painful for me to look others square in the eye. My eyes will start to water, tear up, I'll get a nervous tick and I'll look away. The only people I can make extended eye contact with and not have a negative reaction is my family, my wife and my kids.

The only time I willingly make eye contact outside of a brief second is if I'm extremely angry and looking for a fight. Then I'll try to stare them down. Eye contact is like a hardwired 'fight or flight' thing with me and unless I'm in a situation where that's kind of necessary, it just hurts.