Second child diagnosed

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My two year old's evaluation was today. While the two doctors want to discuss specifics, the preliminary diagnosis is either HFA or PDD-NOS. The sketchy part on the HFA is that he does exhibit fairly good social reciprocity when prompted, though he lacks spontaneous sharing - being object focused. He flaps, toe walks, has frequent meltdowns and focuses a bit too intently on things (parts of objects). They said they will make a decision betwen HFA and PDD-NOS, and contact us soon.

So I have two ASD children.

They also want me to have him evaluated by the genetics people to make sure there are no genetics problems due to his head size, ear shape and small hands and feet. I think it's normal for my family (except the large head, but that's normal for my husband's family). He's a good mix of both of us. The ears, that I don't know about.

Still trying to convince my mother-in-law that they have autism, and their behavior isn't about attention-seeking for lack of affection (she's from the OLD school). Autism = cold parents. I love my mother-in-law, I just wish she had a little more faith in us. The therapist says I'm a good mommy and it is evident in my children's behavior.

Congratulations!

Me too!

It's good to have an early diagnosis.

Make sure you look after yourself!

Regard
Helen

a bit daunting at first....overwhelming at times....but the good thing is that many of the mistakes we made with aspie #1, we didn't make with aspie #2

I have 2 ASD children (now teens) and one 7 year old waiting for evaluation.

Getting such an early diagnosis will be so helpful and you have experience to deal with them both. I have found that both of my boys are so different that I can't always rely on the same tactics for both of them. It's anew adventure every week.

Thanks for the support.

Now my days are filled with phone calls looking for services locally in a city where things are so economically depressed and desolate that there pretty much aren't any services. Sigh. People from here have one of two goals: (1) get the hell out and never come back or (2) they just don't care enough to try. Every day seems to bring new reasons to leave this place, but alas, I am stuck here and hoping I can get my children the help they need to be successful in life and school. My husband has work here, so here we stay.

I hate it here, and it pisses me off more than I can possibly convey that not only am I suffering living in this hole...now my kids will suffer too for the lack of opportunities available to them As it is, I have to travel an hour to their pediatric therapist, 45 minutes for all the other doctors we see (husband's cardiologist, our GP, dermatologist - anyone) and the nearest hospital that is fit for treating human beings is also 45 minutes away. Do you know how much that scares me? They (locally) couldn't even diagnose or treat a kidney stone properly when my husband had it!! !! We thought that was simple enough the local hospital could deal, but no.

Sorry, this was meant to be a thank you and it turned into a rant.

It's alright. It seems to be a good day for ranting!

I also live in a city where there are no autism resources. We have 2 child psychiatrists and they are both useless when it comes to ASD's. We have to drive 2 hours to get services. In a city of 75,000 people, one would think that there would at least be a support group or one pediatrician that has a clue, but no. It is really aggravating. We do have a decent hospital but that is questionable at times.

I fully understand your frustration!

Lauri

I don't know if it's any consolation, but I've found that most of the staff at most hospitals Just Don't Get It (TM), and frequently do the wrong thing. (My wife is allergic to nearly every painkiller & antibiotic, yet the hospital kept trying to give them to her when she had our first two children).

I'm grateful I'm nearly never sick. My wife & kids get sick a lot more, but usually it's just a trip to the local GP (and, assuming you can get an appointment, the GP is pretty good).

arem: yikes! I have a lot of medication allergies, so much so that when I need something I have to give them the short list (i.e. that which I am not allergic to). Fortunately it's rare.

On my son's diagnosis, I don't know. He's doing things that my daughter (who's diagnosis I have NO doubt about) would never have done. Tonight he "cooked" something in a toy pot and "fed" it to me with a fork. He was quite offended when my husband told him he was all done lol! My daughter would never have done that. She didn't pretend play at all until more recently when I showed her how several times. She sticks to acting out her life (school, asking dolly if she needs to go potty before we go to the store, etc.). My son, on the other hand, seems to just imagine things to do.

He also seeks attention and affection. He will come over just to get a hug and smile at me. He'll look me right in the eyes too, no eye contact avoidance at all.

I almost wonder if he just has some characteristics (because his dad is AS) but not enough for any diagnosis. I really think with speech therapy the other things would fix themselves. But I'm not the expert. People are telling me his meltdown behavior is probably due to speech. As for his narrow focus on parts of things, I dunno. He's extremely curious, and I wonder if it's just curiosity. Disability is defined by impairment. Currently, his only impairment is speech.

Speech Apraxia was mentioned...and is also being considered. They did leave the diagnosis a bit open-ended.

We left Indiana because of the overall attitude of the people there and the horror stories I read in the papers. My husband had a great job but we were so miserable. He knew I'd eventually leave him or go insane (I was really nuts). So, we left and almost became bankrupt in California. We made some nutty decisions but we had to do it that way to save our family.
We have moved again to Arizona for work. But we are stable, we know our options and can get help if we need it. I would not live in a place where you have to fight so much for basic things.

Yeah that's pretty much the medicinal situation my wife is in. Of course, it's worse when she's pregnant because half of the things she isn't allergic to, you can't have when you're pregnant. She's also allergic to bees and ants...

I used to get really angry when I was little (until 2yrs-ish) because I could only say a few words, but that was because I was tongue tied. Once that was sorted out I was always a quiet & content kid, apparently.

I never thought I was weird, but I often wondered why everyone else was... so far both of my older kids (~3yr & ~20mo) appear normal & quite social. They get it from their mother's side, I think . I get caught unaware sometimes when they do things that I never expected (like bringing me something and showing it to me, or wandering off and randomly starting playing with kids they don't know) - and each time I get the comment from one of my parents, "Oh, you never did that..."

KimJ: You know, by January I am often having flight fantasies, thinking one more northeast winter might just drive me straight out of my mind. And my husband is an Aspie, so my Seasonal Depression conflicts with his distaste for "bitching" (i.e. me attempting to convey to him that I really cannot deal with the cold, snow, isolation, etc.)...and winter's misery amplifies The Yuck That Is this town. Sigh.

arem: Your wife and I sound similar. I'm allergic to bees and fire ants. Also spiders. You said, "I used to get really angry when I was little (until 2yrs-ish) because I could only say a few words, but that was because I was tongue tied. Once that was sorted out I was always a quiet & content kid, apparently." And I think that may be the case for him. I really believe his frustration is his inability to communicate. He was an extremely pleasant and happy baby, agreeable to everything, always smiling.

Funny you mention showing things to people. My son doesn't do that. He will point at something interesting, but he won't bring things to me to look at, or point because he wants me to look. He points for his own purposes, if that makes sense. I've been working on this with him, showing him things, to see if he picks up and gives it a try.

Well, she's a great mum and from everything I've read (here and in other threads) it sounds like you are too. I don't know how I'd could cope with one spectrum child, let alone multiple!

siuan,

where in the northeast are you located? I, too, am in the cold northeast. You mention an isolated region, no services, long drives to the doctors. I'm assuming you live in a rural area? I'm in a suburban-city type area 10 miles or so from the city. But, services aren't fantastic. I'm looking for a psychologist that specializes in ASD's within a 10-20 mile radius, that participates in my insurance...tricky business.

equinn

Yet they say Aspergers isn't genetic.