social skills & playground

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My 6 yr old Pdd-nos has an aide & is mainstreamed ... I do yard duty so I get to see him during recess.

He tends to be attracted towards kids similar to him ( hyper, ADHD kind) and usually follows them and sometimes gets into trouble mainly for the other kids fault...few of them refuses to play wth him nowadays:(

I wanted to put some accommodations in his IEP like a buddy or team him to play soccer / basketball wth others which he enjoys during recess but the school said its not possible to put in the IEP.

Please suggest what should I do so that he can gain social skills and have friends during recess , which can be added in the IEP ????

He's one of my twins , my other son ( mildly pdd-nos )has his team of friends and usually does not play wth him in recess.

Thanks
Md

You can't use an IEP to make him friends. Trust me, the other kids will not respond well to an adult forcing them to let him into their game.

I would suggest trying to get him some social skills training so he can have the tools to approach the kids and get accepted into their game.

I think they have to WANT friends and be willing to compromise and be reciprocal in order to make them. We have this issue too. Does your child want to play with others and have friends or is it you being sad for him? That is a hard thing, believe me, I know. If he wants friends, then you might be able to teach him reciprocity and how to be a friend. There is a Marc Brown book (The guy who does Arthur) on friendship that may help.

I don't know that it is fair or a good idea but you could try to convince his twin to help him.

One idea and l'm not sure if you allowed while on duty but you could start a game of some kind with your son and other kids. A lot of kids love playing a game with adults and it can be a stepping stone for him learning play skills with the kids. One of my friends purposely got involved with her daughters peers to help with friendships so she helped in the class room etc.

I think the issue is that your IEP can't require other children to do anything, not that he can't have some kind of social skills support on the playground (although that is expensive, so they will probably fight you on it.)

Can you list the specific social issues you are seeing on the playground, and ask that they focus on these during his social skills/pragmatic speech class (which you should ask that he get, if he doesn't have those hours now?)

Are your twin boys close? Usually twins are really close i have heard. I agree with ^above, i would try and get the twin to help his brother get more involved with activities with the other children.

Your son was playing with other boys, yet got into trouble and now the other boys refuse to play with him?
I speak from experience in that when i was in elementary school, other students thought i was odd and it could be possible the other boys mentioned to their parents your son got in trouble, and thus the parents told the boys not to play with him.
In one incident i had a girl tell me her mother wouldn't let her invite me to her birthday party since i was "weird".

So in some instances, i believe close minded parents are to blame for certain things.