Please stop squawking/screaming...

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Having a bit (lot) of a problem with my 6 year old squawking/screaming when he is upset.

His squawking compounds the problem as nobody can understand him to help him.

Anyone have any suggestions around this? We have tried speaking to him when he is calm and tried ignoring it, I don't really know what other options we have.

I have a 7 yr old shrieker. I am pretty tolerant of the shrieking because that is how my son communicates discomfort/upset when he is not in a mental place to communicate more productivity. It has gradually reduced in frequency and duration as a function of better communication skills and better emotional awareness. It has not really changed because of anything else. So we work on emotional control and communication. I do explain to him that he will get his needs met more efficiently if he tells me what is troubling him so at least he might help me help him and he knows what we are aiming for.

Emotional regulation is what comes to my mind too. If your kiddo is anything like mine in that he just seems to go from happy/calm to really upset in like 0.1 seconds then he probably needs to work on how to express his feelings and emotions. How Does Your Engine Run? or variations on this theme are often useful for kids this age and younger. As they develop the ability to recognize their feelings then they can learn how to cope with those feelings and have more effective responses. Its a long process though and takes constant effort.

My parents get mad at me for monotonous wailing when I'm overloaded, but I can't control it. In that mental state, I know I'm wailing but I can't stop.

Yep. My 5 year old speaks really well. Until she get's upset. Then forget it. All you will get is squawking and squealling. She can talk about it LATER but in the moment... squawks.

Same here with DS7. I haven't found a solution yet, still hoping someone will come up with something brilliant on one of these threads!

Thanks everyone, at least I feel a little bit better knowing I am not alone on this, even if there is no 'solution' to squawking.

My son is 4 and has a communication delay, however, we have taught him to say "I need help" when he is sad, angry or frustrated. If he is doing something and is unable to do it the way he would like to, he will ask for help normally the first time, but every time after that, he gets more upset and ends up crying (we are talking in the space of a minute). There are some times where he will get frustrated and throw whatever is in his hands (usually the toy) or a pillow and then start crying, without first asking for help.

Every time this happens, I tell him he has to use his words and tell me what's wrong. As long as he is not in distress for too long (more than 5 mins) I can help him to calm himself down enough to tell me what's wrong. I then will help him, but I will still repeat over and over again that he needs to ask for help when he is upset. I think we repeat it so much that my 2yo daughter has caught on and will also ask for help.

What works for his is that we remain calm and he is being told over and over again what he needs to do in order to let someone know that something is wrong.

When we were making Christmas cookies, DS was having trouble getting the one that he had just cut out to come up off the table. Before it ripped and he got upset he said, and this is a direct quote," I guess I need to ask and adult for help". I almost fell out of my chair! We had been working so much with him on asking for help and this was one of the first times I saw him do it completely unprompted. Of course I immediately praised him for his smart thinking and for staying calm and helped him use the spatula to get the cookie from the table to the cookie sheet. This was the result of months of work on helping him learn when he is frustrated and what to do instead of the explosive behavior that was his most common reaction when he got frustrated.

There aren't any magic bullets for getting them to express themselves appropriately instead of screaming, squwaking, throwing things... It is a long process. If you commit to a process of teaching them to recognize and be able to label their emotions (we use a 5-point scale) then teach them specific things they can do when they feel a certain way, i.e. ask for help when you are feeling frustrated, you will make progress.

Hmmm, that 5 point thing gives me an idea.

My son likes to 'meep' (once yes, twice for no, 3 times 'I love you') maybe we can try a meep scale.