IEP Individual Education Plan meeting Wednesday,any advice?
Sorry, I don't have time to write much but my biggest piece of advice is DO NOT SIGN THE IEP AT THE MEETING. Even if you think it all seems OK, take it home and read it over, think about it. They may pressure you to sign but just let them know that you want a chance to digest it all before you sign.
I'll share what happened at our first IEP meeting. The principal arrived late, interrupted the discussion the rest of us were having and informed me and my husband that DS didnt need an IEP because he wasn't learning disabled. I was shocked and completely unprepared for this outcome. I have since heard from others that they were told the same thing. I wrongly assumed that since it was school personnel who had given him the label in the first place that we would get help. I don't know what your situation is like and how much support your son needs but come prepared to explain how his condition is affecting his ability to learn. The dx in itself does not mean the school will do anything. It must be demonstrated that his ability to receive an equal education is affected by his condition. Also come prepared to tell them what specific accomodations you think need to be made. Remember that you are an equal team member. You opinion is just as important as any of the "profesionals" at the table. Good luck FWIW we now have a good IEP and Behavior Intervention Plan although it took a year of struggling and me hiring an educational advocate to get where we are today.
You aren't going to be able to do this by Wednesday, but I strongly suggest for any future meetings with the school, you bring an advocate with you. This doesn't mean hiring a lawyer, but bringing someone with you who is not part of the school but is a professional in the field: a social worker, a psychologist, etc. It is very hard to keep your own sense of perspective in these meetings, and I always felt better when we had someone there to help make sure we were coming across the way we intended. Some states provide free advocates.
In the meantime, I thought this was a really good overview: http://www.kidstogether.org/IEP/iepd-10-mistakes.htm
Keep in mind that the school is required by law to give you notice before your meeting, in writing. They sometimes spring meetings on you to prevent you from coming in fully prepared (they also sometimes spring meetings on you because they are overwhelmed, so don't read too much into it, just keep in mind the possibility.) Your state's board of education website probably has a requirement written in terms of time (1 month, etc.)
There is a sticky at the top of this board for sample IEPs which I would review, and I'd also recommend surfing through the Wrightslaw blog here: http://www.wrightslaw.com/faqs.htm
Is this the very very first meeting since you requested an evaluation for an IEP? If so, they will probably spend the time discussing which evaluations need to be done -- speech, OT, observation by school psychologist, perhaps some academic testing. Then they have 30 or 60 days (I think it varies by state) to complete the evaluations and have another meeting. THAT meeting is the one where each professional will present the results of their evaluation, and the team will discuss goals for the upcoming year.
I second the advice to bring an advocate to all future meetings, and also to get a copy of From Emotions to Advocacy by Peter Wright. He also has the www.wrightslaw.com website that has tons of good information. The book is written in a logical progression that is really good for someone new to the whole process.
I always find it helpful to know what I want from the meeting. What I see as the key issues, what my personal goals are for my son for the upcoming year, what accommodations and services I am thinking would be good, etc.
My style is to let them go through their presentations and suggestions, while I compare it all to my list. There hasn't usually been that much to challenge in what they suggest (my son's schools have had a lot of experience with ASD), so this has allowed me to spend a good amount of time saying "sounds good" and "I agree," which gets the meeting started on a positive note, allowing the team to feel valued by the time I raise the generally more complicated things I'd like to add.
It's been a long time since we've had a huge difference to deal with, so I've generally been able to sign right then and there. But this is years in the making: me knowing what they can offer, them knowing my child and how we feel about things. There have been some proposals I simply never signed.
When we did have a huge difference, lol, I remember becoming this immovable force. I kept on with new logical arguments (including the ever important "I don't see why it can't be done, it will not cost anything" combined with "do you not agree it would be best for my son?") and staying calm until I got my way.
So much depends on the personalities you will be working with, and how well their philosophies align with yours. I feel my family has been extremely lucky in having had a good place to start, people we were compatible with. But it isn't always that way, and you'll need to spend some time testing the temperature of the water before you decide how you'll want to handle these meetings going forward.
Best of luck!
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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
I guess it depends on the school. We just went through this an had no issues. We had no problem getting an IEP, no problem getting what we wanted in it. Maybe it will be different when we revise it in the future. The school has been way more than willing to work with us in all aspects especially once she had been there a few weeks. Initially they were a little squeamish and said they weren't sure she needed one. After about 2 weeks they changed their tune.
OTOH we probably have it easier than most DD5 is gifted with her IQ in the 140s, which probably makes her interesting to the school psychologist and any other person there who might "Geek" out over her. If that is what is getting her the extra attention then that is unfortunate, and kid who needs help and an IEP should have it. They all acknowledge that despite her intelligence, she will not be able to learn in school due to her other issues as they obviously get in the way of her participating in class appropriately. Hopefully she will serve as example to them of how autism/aspergers affects the learning process. She is more than capable of learning, she is not so good at interacting, paying attention, sitting in her chair, raising her hand, etc... etc... etc... If she can't do those things, and can't at least *not* start fights with the other kids, then she will not learn a thing in class.
One more note: it is really emotionally difficult hearing them describe your child's deficits in clinical terms. Just be ready for that.
_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
One more note: it is really emotionally difficult hearing them describe your child's deficits in clinical terms. Just be ready for that.
_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
OTOH we probably have it easier than most DD5 is gifted with her IQ in the 140s, which probably makes her interesting to the school psychologist and any other person there who might "Geek" out over her. If that is what is getting her the extra attention then that is unfortunate, and kid who needs help and an IEP should have it. They all acknowledge that despite her intelligence, she will not be able to learn in school due to her other issues as they obviously get in the way of her participating in class appropriately. Hopefully she will serve as example to them of how autism/aspergers affects the learning process. She is more than capable of learning, she is not so good at interacting, paying attention, sitting in her chair, raising her hand, etc... etc... etc... If she can't do those things, and can't at least *not* start fights with the other kids, then she will not learn a thing in class.
That sounds like my son. Well, other than the "gifted" part. He can be very bright at times but I would estimate his intelligence to be about average. That might improve if he would spend less energy whining that he caaaaan'ttttt and more energy trying.
I have had him informally evaluated-- DH asked my therapist to do it so I would stop carping on the kid having AS. She didn't see anything. Well, no crap. He has really great company manners for an hour or two at a time. The only four people on this planet who see a problem are the people who have been with him day in and day out: his teacher, his asinine grandparents, and me.
I'm headed to a parent conference I plan to treat as an IEP meeting. Practice, 'cause there's going to be one soon I'm sure.
I'm a first-timer too. The only thing I know to tell you is that a lot of educators-- especially administrators and primary teachers-- can be high-handed and autocratic. They know everything, you're just the parent; bob your head up and down and comply or they'll tell you you're being uncooperative, unsupportive, and difficult.
Screw 'em. This is YOUR KID. YOU are the parent. YOU have the last word. They may want to distract you from that fact, if they are bad educators. Don't let 'em. This is YOUR KID. They may try to make you feel like you have no right to a say-- remember that THEY work for YOU.
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"Alas, our dried voices when we whisper together are quiet and meaningless, as wind in dry grass, or rats' feet over broken glass in our dry cellar." --TS Eliot, "The Hollow Men"
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