CRAP!

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My "no need for any kind of autism forum" days are over.

BOTH kids had major issues today.

So tired.

What happened?

You know, same crap different week.

My daughter got into an argument with one of her friends (due to her own rigidity) which resulted in 45 minutes of wailing at the top of her lungs. She has now alienated a great many of the kids in her after school program and when two girls came up and tried to comfort her, she yelled at them.

My son, who had been doing so well at doing his homework that I started to just ask him if it was done and trusting his answer, has not turned in a single thing in the past 2 weeks. When I asked him about it, at first he lied. Then I asked him why he thought his teacher called me today and then he told me the whole truth.

It really never ends.

I know, sometimes it's hard taking that "trusting" step back because that's when they think they can get away with things. Another day, another day. Sorry you're going through a hard time. Did your daughter's friends get support when they "confronted" your daughter? Who is in charge at school, anyway? You'd think, considering your daughter's situation and friendship scenerio, SOMEONE would step in to help support these problems.

Similar stuff for us. DS had been having 1 or no major incidents at school for quite some time then last week he had 5 and this week is shaping up to be just as bad. Is it too soon to chalk it up to spring fever?

It happened at the after school program, which is mostly staffed by college students. They actually did as good of a job as I would expect them to do. They took her aside and tried to give her diversional activities (drawing) and just sat with her quietly.

Her friends didn't confront her They tried to comfort her! LOL! I was there when that happened and I talked to them and one of their mother's. The girls were so sweet. They are 3rd graders. It is the 2nd graders she likely alienated. Last year at the after school program she had many problems because of her bossiness and a lot of the kids didn't like her. But this year she has been doing much better and they had kind of forgotten, though I think yesterday's prolonged incident will remind many of them why they try to avoid her

I don't necessarily think my son is trying to get away with anything. He's not that kind of kid. He just can't structure things on his own at all--apparently--and if something is difficult, his natural response is to avoid it. He has really poor planning skills and he has this weird thing where he just blocks the thought of consequences out of his mind. As if he doesn't think about them, they won't happen.

<sigh>

I'm sorry that you and your kids are struggling this week with the old "two steps forward, one step back". Just remember that you are moving forward. Be kind to yourself won't you, rest if you can, simplify and try to do things that make you all smile... now that sounds like something my mum would tell me but that kind of advice has worked so far for me.
Take care

I am sorry your kids are have a hard week. My kids are younger than yours. But this last month has taught me that all kids can have a bad week or in my son's case, bad month, whether they are NT or ASD or anything else. I find kids are very susceptible to bribery. Maybe your daughter can do something nice for the kids who tried to comfort her. As for your son, you may have to go back to lightly monitoring his HW.

It happens. We had a couple of bad weeks, and now it is still not great, but it is better. We also stepped up the bribery for good school behavior, to try to incentivize what we can.

It seems like there will always be good weeks and bad weeks. Hang in there.

Thanks for all the encouraging responses - not meant for me but I receive them! This, to me, is the toughest part of AS. My son is so inconsistent, performing just great for a long period of time and then, BANG, we are back to square one. And I am so surprised each time, for some odd reason. It sets me back more than it does my son. I react wrongly and then feel guilty for a long time.

This is exactly how I feel. Thank you for understanding.

And thanks to everyone for the support.

My son and I did his homework very carefully last night and we are going to work on a contract over the weekend. My daughter and I practiced what she might say to the friend she argued with and the two other girls. She did have one remarkable piece of insight for a 7 year old. She said she was not going to bring the issue up with her friend if she was acting "normal" because she said she didn't think her friend was upset by the whole situation as much as she was. This is the first time she has ever indicated that she understands her response to some situations is out of proportion compared to most people. So maybe there is progress in there after all!

That is an awesome insight! Progress just comes in bumpy ways.

I think that these are regular aspects of childhood, growing up, and hoooman life on earth. That's how I think of them. As incidents of normal childhood. Not as performing at a certain higher level, then regressing to some lower level in some developmental trajectory. It would be super duper weird if children didn't have these issues eberry once in awhile. I would check to see if they were hooomanoid robots instead of hoooman children, like vicky on small wonder.

Oh, man, this sounds like me.

One frustration I've had in a lot of situations is when I'm struggling in an area, then people step in to help me do it, and I experience some success - and then they pull away the support before I'm ready! (If I'll ever be.) It seems like people forget that certain things are hard for me and will continue to be hard, and just because I'm doing well with support doesn't mean I'm ready to have that support taken away.

Yep, me three. We are doing OK right now but I do feel blindsided every time we take a step back, and it's hard on those days to see all the progress. (Today we are OK despite me having to go get DS early from an afterschool program yesterday - but we kind of knew going in that it was a stretch for him to be social from 8am to 9:30pm. The fact that he lasted for three hours and then asked me to come get him relatively calmly is something I consider a win.)

Not going into details now, but I think this is something as a parent I need to think harder about and be more conciencious and empathetic about. It has been a hard week in our house this week too.