puberty/safety issues/behaviour problems worsening

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my 11 1/2 yr old son is hitting puberty and it seems like his autistic traits are stronger now.

he's less aware of what's going on around him, to the point that i'm afraid for his safety. when we go for a walk, he will just drift off of the sidewalk into traffic. When we go the the store, he wanders in the parking lot when i'm getting his baby sister out of the car. i'm afraid he's going to walk right into the path of a moving car and get hit. he just seems to be completely oblivious to what's going on around him. i dont ever remember it being like this in the past. he's almost 12 and i have to hold his hand to cross the road, to walk from the car to a store, or anytime we're walking on a sidewalk.

yesterday, we were at a club that we go to weekly and some of the kids were doing gymnastics, like handstands etc. my son walked right towards a kid who was coming down from a handstand and almost got kicked right in the face! i asked him about it later and he said that he was distracted by a sound in another room and didnt even see the kid who was doing a handstand.

he has been on gfcf diet since he was 4, and a lot of the stimmy, angry, tantrummy behaviour faded away with the diet. now it's like we're back at square one. nothing that used to work works for him anymore. he gets soo angry nowadays, and he has always been a very very happy child. for years, it was like the asperger's had faded away. i wouldnt use the word "cured", because he has always thought differently than non-aspies, ie more 3d thinking, thinking in pictures, visual-spatially really strong, etc but the more problematic behaviours were faded to the point that it was really hard for someone who didnt know him very well to tell that he is on the spectrum--ie he didnt perseverate, stim, tantrum. now that's all back

i have heard other parents talk about the difficulties of puberty with their asd kids, but now i am seeing how it is affecting my son firsthand and i am really at a loss.

i'm just wondering what to do to get thim thru this in one piece. i'm so scared that he's going to get really badly hurt or even killed because he's so oblivious to what's going on around him. i'm guessing that in a few years when his hormones settle down that things will get better for him again. i'm not really sure what to do for him until then. it's not like i can keep him in a little bubble so he wont get hurt, ykwim?

you could try one of those harness things with a leash as a temporary solution

your son sounds like he's a lot more severe then I am, but if anything, puberty calmed me down a whole lot a year or so after I hit. I don't really have anything else that could be considered constructive to your problem however. I'll put some thought into potential solutions however.

Has his sensitivity to sound increased in general? Maybe he's so distracted by noise that he can't focus on where he is (gymnasiums are particularly noisy places, my son has difficulty with them.

When we go to a movie, we give DS those squishy in-ear noise-reducing earplugs and it really helps him tolerate it better. In situations where he needs to be more socially acceptable, we use the noise-reducing earbuds and just tuck the tail in his pocket like he has some kind of mp3 player there. Just a thought.

Also - 11 is one of those ages where social skills/pragmatic issues pop up. Doesn't sound from your description like this is what's happening, but I could see a situation where a kid who is trying to parse out bullying might be generally distracted. Are you seeing an increase in anxiety, too? (This is, admittedly, a reach.) We do talk about DS as being like one of those guys on Ed Sullivan who spins plates - once he has his maximum number of plates up there, either plates start to fall randomly or if we push him too far, the whole thing crashes down. I can see where puberty might "add a plate."

Another suggestion - ask the school to have him evaluated by the OT, and explain to her what you are seeing. In addition to sound, there might be other sensory issues going on - I'm wondering about proprioperceptive issues.

Good luck! It's so hard to parse stuff out when they are this age!

This might sound harsh for NTs, but it seems he has to learn to get along with monotasking. For me it has been like that for my whole life, so its easier for me because people know that I instantly stop talking to them, while crossing streets and so on. Or that I do not like to be disturbed while on my way somewhere. Then I have already got something in my head, that is the cause why I am heading somewhere, I must concentrate on me moving and my surrounding, so I absolutely ignore everything else on purpose. If not things happen as you mention, i ran directly into something that is right in front of me.

I agree, that the more relaxed I am, the more I am able to do some multitasking. So if your child has more stress in school or whatever, he will be less able to do so in the evening and afternoon.

So it seems hard, but as you said yourself: When its about traffic and street then safety comes first, so he has to force himself to fully concentrate on the actual situations right around him. That means ignoring everything that could be intersting to him in this situation but also ignoring everyone that is interested in talking to him right now. Better let people think you are rude, then running into a car.

If he is sound sensitive? and you are having issues with elopement?

My daughter would just leave the house when we were sleeping or whatever. She could unlock the door, deadbolt ect.

I purchased a couple of those cheap proximity alarms (when the door opens is sounds) And they have not only been effective preventing this. But due to her sensitivity with sound they have actually modified the behavior. She stands at the door waiting for it to be opened.

We also have a five foot rule. Its a formal rule that I include with the IEP and instruct her care givers on. She is only to have a five foot lead when walking. Any more and she is difficult to stop before she gets into harms way. We also advise: if in a playing environment whoever is providing care places themselves between the area of activity and any hazards.

Examples: In the yard at home I or the care giver remains between her and the road. At school they remain between the playground and parking lot.

When are returning to the car from shopping we either "herd" her or hold her hand. She absolutely will just open a door and get into a random car: occupied or not. For the most part we try and avoid these situations as best we can.

I dont know if all Autistic's share this trait. But my Chloe is completely fearless. There is very little she does without supervision. She is 10 BTW.

A couple of years back she was returned home twice by the local police. She had been walking down the middle of our busy road at 06:00 am wearing nothing but panties. We were sleeping.

Another precaution I have taken is to talk with both local police and Sheriff's office to explain the situation: where we live, our contact's phone numbers ect. And I also provided them with sites that will train them to deal with Autistic children.

I dont know if this helps. Just sharing my experience.

thank you all for your thoughtful replies. we are seeking an OT referral and an edu-psych eval (it's been a few years since the last one anyways).



it is so valuable to hear from other folks on the spectrum and hear how you have dealt with similar issues. i've been talking to my son about your replies. thank you all so much for your ideas and insights


my son is homeschooled, it was just way too distracting for him to be in a class with so many other people. he does his academic work on the computer in the mornings and then has co-ops, activities, lessons etc with other kids in the afternoons. it's really great. anyways, he recently got a new laptop. i borrowed it to do some work and noticed that the screen brightness was reallllly bright. since we turned it down, things have been a lot better for my son as far as anger and short-temperedness go. i think that looking at such a bright screen was overstimulating him.

we are still working on the safety issues and the "spacing out" issues. i'm holding his hand in parking lots and near traffic. He's not allowed to get out of the car until i come to get him. i'm thinking about getting him a therapy dog, maybe, if it's still an issue when he's ready to be independant. i'm hoping that with practice it will improve. also hoping that an OT will be able to help him too